MetaChat - Menstrual Nomenclature

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17 March 2009

Menstrual Nomenclature What do you call your period?→[More:]Okay, I confess: I was logged into my coworker's computer as her - long dumb work story; she knew & all - and her outlook calendar, which I thought initially was the shared calendar, was up on the screen. Thus I was puzzled by the entry at the top that said Woman Time. Until I realized, whoops!

I am less techy, myself, and on the first day of my period I draw a small ball and write Red Ball next to it in my day planner. This is because years ago an old roommate of mine found a flashcard in the street and on one side it said Johnny likes to play! and on the other it said Mary has the red ball. so my roommate, naturally, put it in her window with the Johnny side out unless, of course, it was that time of the month, at which point she reversed it. Therefore, red ball.

An old coworker of mine used to say she had "the vapors." She was obnoxious, though, and I think the vapors are something more Victorian and forbidding than cramps and menstrual angst. Anyway. What have you heard?

post by: mygothlaundry at: 21:57 | 49 comments

Aunt Flo. What else???

posted by bunnyfire 17 March | 21:59

My mother called it the curse and told me when I got my first one that her mother told her it was the curse that God put on Eve but that she, my mother, was not telling me any such thing, so remember that. Then she cried.

posted by mygothlaundry 17 March | 22:04

I call my period my period. Not very original, huh? I've heard all sorts of euphemisms for it, though. When I was in high school (mid-80s) some of my friends called it "being on the rag" and "riding the cotton pony" but those were mostly dismissive terms that the boys used to insult the girls whenever we expressed any assertive emotions, so I grew to dislike using euphemisms for it.

posted by amyms 17 March | 22:17

Yup, just "my period".

posted by loiseau 17 March | 22:44

I use "riding the crimson wave" if I'm feeling like referencing Clueless.

Otherwise it's "period" or occasionally "bloody period".

Fun times. fun times.

I always forget to mark it / note it, and it comes as a suprise every time.

posted by jonathanstrange 17 March | 23:02

I either call it my period or if I'm being a smartass, "my bleedy time."

posted by fluffy battle kitten 17 March | 23:10

I call it "my period" as well, but sometimes jokingly refer to "being full of demons" to my boyfriend when I'm especially crampy.

And to keep track of my cycle, I've used MyMonthlyCycles for the past few years. I really like that it has email reminders for when to expect my period (I have it send one to my boyfriend as well: "There Be Demons"), and when I may be late/forgotten to record my period.

I've seen there's a period tracking iPhone app, but I'm cheap and don't want to spend money.

posted by rhapsodie 17 March | 23:24

Black panty week, or just: that time of the month.

posted by rmless2 17 March | 23:25

Just "on my period." I find other stuff too cutesy.

posted by unsurprising 17 March | 23:31

I've been using mon.thly.info since it launched (I used MyMonthlyCycles for ages before that) but the reminder emails never make it to me. They don't even go to my spam box... they can't even get that far. Really strange. I've got a note set up in Evolution's calendar now anyway -- cut out the middle man.

Since we're discussing periods: I'd certainly be happy to start a new thread if this is too much of a derail, but has anyone else ever fallen out of love with their Lunette/Mooncup/Diva Cup/Keeper? The last two or three periods I just haven't wanted to use it, and I can't put my finger on (hee hee eww) exactly why. This troubles me because I've used a cup for years and was a huge proponent/preacher of their merits until very recently.

posted by loiseau 17 March | 23:35

I'm going to try mon.thly.info, it sure is a lot prettier and less cruft-y than MyMonthlyCycles. I'll see if it actually emails me. Thanks, loiseau!

posted by rhapsodie 17 March | 23:57

I say the more the merrier, loiseau. It's not as if any men are going to stumble into this thread! :)

I've never tried the cups - they aren't really available over here, and I've never taken the trouble to import one.

posted by jonathanstrange 17 March | 23:59

I call it "my period" or, more rarely, "that time of the month". I have called it by the other silly names, but only to make a joke.

I use a small card calendar (it was part of a realtor advertisement stuffed in the mailbox) and mark off the days I flow. I'm about two and half months late. I've told my family doc it's probably early menopause (my mum was early too), but he doesn't believe me. I should go to my gyno.

I say the more the merrier, loiseau. It's not as if any men are going to stumble into this thread! :)

Ha! Don't count on it.

posted by deborah 18 March | 00:02

I use a google list making widget thing on my google page and just make a little notation.

I call it "my period" or if I'm talking about it more abstractly I sometimes say "ya know, girl stuff?" or if I feel like being affected and british-y "painters in the house".

I'm huuuuuuugely out of love with the Diva Cup. I was boiling that thing for 30 minutes before putting it in and it still restarted my bladder infection from hell last month after I was thinking I was probably mostly better. I threw that thing out, I hate it.

posted by birdie 18 March | 00:06

I haven't fallen out of love with my Diva Cup and I hope I never do! Now I'm scared.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 18 March | 00:10

"painters in the house"

Hahaha, I've never heard this.

posted by rhapsodie 18 March | 01:04

It's not as if any men are going to stumble into this thread! :)

Excuse me, miss, would you happen to know the way to E 125th street and Madison ave? I'm a bit lost, y'see, and--

...

Oh my.

;)

That said, I had no idea anyone actually USED (insert brand name) cups. I thought they were something of a myth.
≡ Click to see image ≡

Alright, I'll just stumble my way back out of here.

posted by CitrusFreak12 18 March | 01:07

It's my period. I used to occasionally say "Aunt Flo" ironically, but don't think I've said it for years.

As for "the vapors" -- I believe that was just the Victorian way of saying a lady had gas. I always thought it was something much more serious, like dropsy or apoplexy, but no... it just means farty. Or that she was turning Japanese!

posted by scody 18 March | 01:11

Hey! I am a man with A Good Attitude Towards Menstruation.

posted by arse_hat 18 March | 01:13

Period, but I mostly don't have to worry about this any more. I've teased my husband that "I'm on the rug" because he's mixed up "rag" and "rug" before.

posted by taz 18 March | 01:42

Like all British men, I call it a full stop.

But hey. It's great to know we have so many punctuation fans in here.

posted by seanyboy 18 March | 02:49

hrm. I don't say "on my period" I say I've "got my period". Minor difference. But no, I don't use any eupehmisms. Haven't had one since the end of '07 anyway.

posted by gaspode 18 March | 06:16

Period. The Curse. Damn time of the month.

I don't need to track mine online - the headaches pain and drama always gives me enough of a warning.

Also my damn period kicked in 2 months after EM was born. That thing is never going away.

posted by gomichild 18 March | 06:49

I say I'm bleeding, or I have my period.

Eponysterical:

Just "on my period." I find other stuff too cutesy.
posted by unsurprising 17 March | 23:31

posted by Specklet 18 March | 07:27

I'm always tickled by the use of il marchese (The Marquis) as a euphemism but the more frequently used phrase is the boringly vague ho le mie cose (I have my "things"). As with many euphemisms, "Aunt Flo", "on the rag", and "have my period" don't translate very well :D

posted by romakimmy 18 March | 07:51

Outside the doctor's office, it only comes up for discussion in intimate situations, in which case I say "I'm bleeding" which may or may not put a full stop - har har - to the conversation.

I do keep track or I'd be shocked every time, too.

posted by rainbaby 18 March | 08:00

"on the rug" had its own meaning at our house.

posted by Ardiril 18 March | 08:26

"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my Rag Time Gal..."

Whistling that never ceased to annoy the shit out of my older sisters. It's amazing that they allowed me to live.

posted by ColdChef 18 March | 09:08

Same as Specklet. No need to track, as it's every four weeks on a Thursday, and has been since I was 14, apart from my year of hell on the pill /TMI

posted by altolinguistic 18 March | 09:48

Hey, I just started bleeding! Two days ahead of (my 30-day) schedule, which is really weird, since I'm usually like clockwork. /TMI

posted by Specklet 18 March | 11:15

My ex-husband used to say 'on the blob'. Nice.

posted by essexjan 18 March | 12:06

I'm 53, and I call it history. Yay!

posted by theora55 18 March | 12:06

.

sorry, couldn't resist. I never got the knack of tracking it on a calendar.

posted by lysdexic 18 March | 12:20

ColdChef - be amazed that I'm going to allow you to live (you're lucky you're most of a continent away from me) because that damn song is going to be stuck in my head. Again.

posted by deborah 18 March | 12:32

Deborah must not be currently riding the cotton pony, or it may have gone a lot worse for ColdChef.

posted by danf 18 March | 12:41

Orvar fyller år! (Orvar's birthday)

In junior high I nicked my BFF's calender and as she chased me down the street I was flicking through it, and spotted Orvar's birthday, so I ask "Hey, who is this Orvar dude and why is his birthday ... once.. a month aha..". Thus, I marked it as Orvar's birthday. Later I began drawing moon symbols to keep track of the flow, full moon, half full and so on. Couldn't be bothered and never track it now. When I get a sudden need for chocolate, bitch about having a bad hair and skin day, whine about no bra's fit properly anymore, and get weepy at pathetic ads I know what's coming.

posted by dabitch 18 March | 12:55

@gomichild oh you poor thing I had a a year and nine months off. It was BLISS! (I nursed three times a day for ages hoping that would happen though, win some freedom, loose in others)

posted by dabitch 18 March | 12:57

Oh god, I have heaps, mainly stupid - worshipping at the altar of the bitch goddess Menstruada, rebooting the ovarian operating system, playing in the crimson tide, Sgt Zygote's Ragtime Band to name just a few - but I'm just as likely to just say "I'm bleeding". Depends on the context.If I'm feeling particularly shitty I'll add "from my vagIna".

I use an annual planner to chart when I'm not on the pill, colouring in the days and with symbols for other related events - mine are really irregular due to PCOS (10 weeks, two weeks, four months, eight months, three weeks between are all 'normal') so my gyno and I like to keep track.

I had an ultrasound just last week, and have a large cyst on my left ovary that's going to have to be removed very soon, so who knows what adventures are in store for Sgt Zygote's Ragtime Band!

Er, hi everybody! *waves*

posted by goo 18 March | 14:16

ow, goo, I've done the large cyst on left (how odd) as well, lets hope yours is like mine full of water and easy to "pop" or whatever the heck my surgeon said. The two idiotic-looking scars they gave me have actually - wow - healed so that you can't even see them now though. I didn't think they'd ever go away, but ta-dah! Gone! Body is amazing. Best of luck.

posted by dabitch 18 March | 14:36

My name is M.C. Menses and my flow be fresh!

I say "having my period" and I have "period" marked clearly in my calendar. I'm also fond of complaining that my uterus is bleeeeeeeeeding.

And I'm still in love with my Diva Cup. But I rarely boil it -- I soak it in diluted hydrogen peroxide. Sparkly clean.

posted by heatherann 18 March | 15:02

Thanks, dabitch - I'm actually quite frightened after reading the internet and it's really good to know that sometimes they're dealt with without too much hassle!

posted by goo 18 March | 15:05

very late to this but in my head I say "na mBlathanna" the blossoms, Irish or La regla the rule (Span). But to others I say I'm having my period. I prefer my interior dialogue, it's full of amazing celtic and meditterranean imagery. ;-)

posted by Wilder 18 March | 16:57

eh, I just say "period."

posted by Stewriffic 18 March | 18:50

I guess the reason I track my periods is because I'm not on the pill anymore, and I don't get PMS. (Not that I've noticed, anyway.) I only know roughly when my period will come, somewhere around 24-27 days, or otherwise, when there's blood on the TP.

I'm not sure what my aversion to my cup is, but it makes me really sad. When I first got one it changed my life. Maybe we're just out of the honeymoon phase...

posted by loiseau 18 March | 19:32

"I am crampy and bloody" usually covers it.

posted by casarkos 18 March | 19:37

I call it Cigar Season. Because I visited a friend in the hospital once & there was a cup full of cigars for people who'd just had babies - wrapped individually in white wrappers with pink or blue writing. Looked just like tampons.

posted by chewatadistance 18 March | 19:38

ALSO, WAY WAY TMI BUT I HAVE TO RANT:

I finally gathered enough courage to try a DivaCup this cycle, and I ended up leaking blood all over the bathtub for nearly two hours before it went in successfully (the part where it's supposed to pop back into shape? OW OW OW). And then it wouldn't do the half turn like the directions say, so I consulted the FAQ:

Q: What if I can't turn it?
A: UR DOIN IT WRONG. TRY AGAIN.

At which point I decide this is too painful and uncomfortable and maybe I'll try again next cycle, but this month I'm going back to tampons and pads like an unenlightened budy-fearing slave to the corporate menstrual product oligarchy. And getting the cup back out hurts even more than going in because it's not all folded up, and I thought I was about to end up as an ER weird-thing-in-embarrassing-orifice story or dead from an embolism. But so far the only lasting damage seems to be that I've taken my own virginity. Oops.

posted by casarkos 18 March | 19:43

I say either "I've got my period" (like gaspode) or "I'm cramping" (I think that's a clueless reference as well). It doesn't usually come up in conversation actually.

posted by muddgirl 18 March | 21:44

casarkos: I am askeered to try the divacup for that precise reason.

posted by rhapsodie 19 March | 01:50

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