Just to get things in perspective - it's pretty rare to die from complications of surgery, though it is always possible, regardless of the type of operation. For every death you hear about, there are hundreds of cases of people who come through it and can have a better quality of life (or even a life at all - some surgery really is life-saving).

I had surgery last summer and there were complications. Had my surgeon missed a small but crucial observation (and surgeons do often miss this - I looked this procedure up when I was better, and all the reports were of things going wrong), things would have been much worse and I could well have died within a week of the operation. As it was, I had a laparotomy instead of keyhole incisions, and a week in hospital instead of a day, and ten weeks off work instead of two, but I am alive, feeling well, and grateful. The condition I needed surgery for was causing me a lot of pain, and could have led to pancreatitis which is very dangerous, so I needed the operation in any case.

I had major abdominal surgery just over five years ago. I was aware there were risks involved, as there is with all surgery, but I made sure I was at peace with myself and everything around me before I went in for it.

As it turned out, if I hadn't had the operation then, I'd probably be dead now.

Three years ago I had surgery to remove a lump from my breast. Again, I went into it in a state of acceptance and calm.

As alto says, serious complications are rare and I would never choose not to have necessary surgery out of fear of what might happen post-op. However, having gone under the knife twice out of necessity, it reinforced for me that I'd never do so just for the sake of vanity. That's tempting fate.

Both of my parents underwent surgeries for life-threatening conditions, and both are alive, healthy, and much happier for having done so. They would have died otherwise. My grandfather died in the late 60's after open heart surgery for a condition that would have killed him quicker than the complications did. But that was back when success rates were much lower, and techniques were much more invasive.

I would caution against letting truly moving and deceptively rare accounts of failure persuade you that the chances of surgical success are slimmer than they really are; of course, every surgery should be weighed carefully by the patient and her loved ones, but we truly have come a long way in a short time. Pause, reflect, and step forward, always forward.

People also die by not undergoing surgery. I may have already mentioned this, but after Christmas, I had a cath procedure wherein my cardiologist found that I required a fairly new technique in which he had limited experience and that carried significant risk. He even offered me the opportunity to call my family right there from the table. I turned that down and told him to proceed.

I figured that if I did die, perhaps my doctor could learn from the experience and save others in the future. He succeeded obviously and may have added years to my life. More important though in my mind is the experience my doc gained in completing the procedure successfully. It may be the slight edge he needs that makes the difference in saving someone else.

My mother died last summer partially because of complications from surgery, so I know where you're coming from. On the other hand, the surgery was an emergency and a gamble - if she hadn't had it, she would have died much faster but in terrible pain. Once you are past a certain age the odds get much worse; my mother was 83 and in the end her body, weakened by a whole bunch of things over many years, simply was not up to the stress of surgery.

I do remember her telling me once though that a retired surgeon friend of hers told her that it takes a person a whole year to really recover from full anesthesia; that going under is much more difficult and much harder on people, particularly weak or elderly people, than anyone realizes. Having gone through it with my mother, I now believe that absolutely.

Would it be against the mood of the thread if I mentioned that I first read the title as "Surgary!"?

it takes a person a whole year to really recover from full anesthesia;

I agree. For months after I was 'fully recovered' from my surgery five years ago I would feel exhausted from time to time, for no good reason.

It was when I went back to work that I started working from home two days a week, and I think that was the key to finally getting through it - being able to take a nap mid-afternoon really helped.

my boss died last week and he'd just had a cataract surgery

Did he die from complicates arising from the surgery? I assume that's what you meant, but I'm a little confused by the wording.

As far as anesthesia is concerned, it's way worse for pets than for people. When I was in the pet trade I'd hear from folks who just couldn't clip their dog's nails, the animal would be just too frightened and uncooperative, so they would have the dog anesthetized every few months so they could clip in peace. Those dogs don't last as long, and their quality of life is poor, since they're constantly recovering from anesthesia. Plus, veterinary anesthesia is a less exact science than human anesthesia, so small pets are often given much bigger doses than they need, which literally takes years (human years) off their lives. Anyway, back to people, eh?

Ok, I'll use this thread to get on my soapbox. Yes, there are risks involved with surgery and anesthesia. There are also risks involved in walking out the door, every morning. Our only human certainty is death (which is entirely morose, but true.) That is why it is so very important to have Advance Directives on file with your loved ones, your doctor, your hospital, in your purse/glovebox/briefcase/backpack. ColdChef's dad did him an amazing service by putting into writing exactly what he wanted done for his funeral, in addition to giving him a final letter of love. While not technically an advance directive (though I bet he had one), his taking the time to prepare his final wishes is a lasting gift to his family.

Not sure what advance directives are? Look here: USA, UK, Australia, Canada. My apologies if I've left your locality out. If I have, please google your locality and the term "advance directive" or "living will". It's a difficult, but loving act.

you are right LP, i am gonna write one of those fuckers!

Yea, wife and I have talked about writing living wills but have never gotten around to it. Seeing as I'm male, 45 and overweight, I probably should.

I had a friend who almost died during a kidney surgery to remove cancerous tumors because he'd started bleeding out. Considering that his surgery came about maybe a year after Kelly died, if he had died, I think I would have totally lost it.

My dad died during recovery after his surgery because he had a blood clot and it caused him to have a major heart attack.

But let me throw you a curve ball: one of my dad's best friends was scheduled to have the same knee replacement procedure on the following day. They were looking forward to being in the hospital at the same time (the hospital had already arranged for neighboring rooms, knowing that everyone who'd want to visit dad would also want to visit Lonnie) and doing their physical therapy together. The knew that their recovery would go faster if they both had someone to encourage them.

After dad died, Lonnie was terrified of getting the same operation THE NEXT DAY. Though he was grieving, my uncle (who is also a very good friend of Lonnie's) went up to the hospital and sat down with him and convinced him that what happened to my dad was for reasons mostly unrelated to the surgery. The knees didn't kill him, his heart did.

Then he told Lonnie that we'd all call him a pussy if he backed out of the surgery just because he was afraid of a little thing like dying. They laughed and my uncle stayed by Lonnie's side. His recovery is going well.