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11 February 2009

Updates go here... So I haven't felt like I've been around at all this week. I feel out of the loop, so thought I'd update you on my life at this end...[More:]

I don't have huge news, or anything like that. But I have been busy, and it has been hard.

Work has been a nightmare. I've been doing research calls for work, and it's taken a toll on me. I find it really stressful and draining having to call people, and the target is about 200 people a day. It's very draining.

I am also pretty emotionally drained by watching the fires. A friend lost two of his friends, and the atmosphere here is very dark and gloomy.

Anyway.

I tried to mention this to one of my two bosses - I, the one who set me the work to do. She's the one I'm not as close to - although I think the world of her, and really like and respect her.

I felt really guilty for hating the work so much when I know how much they need me to help with it. So I tried to tell her how I felt, and I tried to suggest coping strategies for myself, but I don't think I managed to convey just how anxious this was making me.

Fast forward a a week of insomnia, stress, and random bursting into tears about it, and things aren't any better. So I stayed behind after work, trying to get my other boss, S, alone, so that I could tell her how I was feeling.

I felt crap that I wasn't getting anywhere near the number of calls that I needed to make. I felt bad that I was letting the side down. I felt guilty that I hated the job they asked me to do, even though it was only for a short time.

So I told all this to S, and stressed that I wasn't asking to be taken off the job, that I wasn't complaining about it because I felt it was beneath me or anything, and managed to convey just how stressed about it I was. I think bursting into tears helped convey the stress, :|

Anyway, upshot is, it's all sorted now. I'll do calling for a couple of hours at a time, every day. Better than three whole days a week, gives me more time to do my normal work too. And they were shocked that I hated it so much - I thought they were cross with me for doing such a bad job, in fact they were all talking about how great I am at it, and how they thought I must be loving it because I'm so good at it.

Phew.

Mammoth post.

I hope I don't come across as bitching about my job, because it isn't that at all, and I fully realise just how lucky I am to A) have a job, and B) have a job in such a great company, working with such great people.

This is me recognising that, and saying how much I appreciate the fact that they listened, and are wanting to help me. And how much they respect me. It's really really lovely.

I'm shutting up now, because I seem to have written way way more than I intended to, and I have a weeks worth of work to do today (and calls to make later on too).

But thanks for being here, and sorry I've been quiet the last couple of days. Missed you all!

What have you guys been up to??
Oh, this and that.
posted by danf 11 February | 19:06
(((jonathanstrange)))
posted by gomichild 11 February | 19:17
:( bella. keep your head up girl.

the weekend is coming up and it's definitely time for you to unplug. maybe play billy joel's 'vienna' on constant repeat friday night and take it to heart. then when saturday rolls around, pull out ole jack and lose yourself in zoe - or any good escapist book. clean up your kitchen and living room so everything is nice to your liking. get yourself some nice tea or coffee and breakfast danish or something... muffins, what have you. rent some films, some nice little miniseries - pride & prejudice (the colin firth one), north and south (with Daniela Denby-Ashe), Crandford (Judi Dench) or Jayne Eyre (Toby Stephens) and get lost in your own world for the weekend. you are doing well! you are keeping it together in the face of amazing adversity and heartship! the world may go to pot but you need a serious breather from it. do it!

i'm pulling for you here!
posted by eatdonuts 11 February | 19:28
Actually - Cranford is showing on Sunday night... we switched off the fire coverage to watch it last week, and I'm going to visit the grandparents on sunday for a Roast Dinner and to watch it with them. Lovely!
posted by jonathanstrange 11 February | 19:39
Major props to you for dealing with the issue head-on. For me, being forced to make phone calls is definitely one of the lower circles of hell.
posted by sperose 11 February | 22:05
I offer whuffles.
posted by Specklet 12 February | 02:51
AskMetachat: "Blog" software that doesn't require a MySQL server? || *snivel*

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