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03 February 2009

From the Bureau of Imaginative Explanations. [More:]
I'm dealing with a case where a bank foreclosed on a customer's business loan after discovering her home was being used not as a daycare, as she'd told them, but as a brothel. The newspaper report of a related court case says:

'At ******* Court, Mrs ******** claimed that poles in the property were intended as aids for disabled visitors rather than for pole-dancing, and flashing disco lights provided stimulus for autistic children. It was also claimed that wall-mounted chains, shackles and mirrored ceilings were "decorative".'

Hmmm ....
Love it!

reminds me of last month in Valencia airport at the top of a very large check-in queue.....

Son 11, "Mom, Mom! You left the electric toothbrush on in the luggage!!"
to which my husband loudly replied "we didn't bring the electric toothbrush" before I thumped him.

posted by Wilder 03 February | 10:00
This was the winner in Savage Love's female masturbation horror stories contest several years ago:
I was obsessed with Mickey Mouse when I was a child so my parents would give me Mickey things for my birthday and Christmas. One present happened to be a Mickey Mouse electric toothbrush. It became my new most- favorite thing in the world. Well, one day my toothbrush disappeared. I was crushed and utterly confused. My mother blamed one of my "no-good friends."

Anyway, months passed and I slowly got over my loss. One morning I woke up early and, being too young to cook myself breakfast, I went into my mother's bedroom. She was lying on her side with her back to me. She was making noises--weird, groany, moany noises. Thinking she was having a bad dream, I ran up to the bed and grabbed her arm and told her to wake up. She screamed. I screamed. Then I saw my Mickey Mouse electric toothbrush in her hand. I grabbed it, ran out of the room, down the hallway and into my room, slamming the door behind me. I sat on my bed red-faced with anger. Not only had my own mother stolen my most-favorite thing in the world, but now it stunk.

Traumatized At Age Six
posted by brujita 03 February | 10:19
"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."

-- Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Barry, 1988.
posted by Hugh Janus 03 February | 11:16
After reading that story, brujita, I'm traumatized at age 28.
posted by grouse 03 February | 12:11
Call to action: Birthday postcards for terrapin! || I am proud of myself!