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31 January 2009

Was I wrong to take her side? [long post ahead] [More:]She was from out of town, and had only come to the city to stay with him. He says he was truly in love with her, and wanted to marry her, but he couldn't stand the calls which she used to get late at night from one of her exes, or at least that's what I think. These calls would make him go into his bedroom and start taking his anger out an the windows, his computer, and the walls, but never her, so I thought it was alright. Just something that they needed to work out.

But then I found out how controlling he was, and how much this used to affect her...
she would start crying, and try to console him, and once even tried to kill her-self. Thank-god the cut was small--on her wrist, and soon I went out and got her some bandages and medicine with the money that the guy had given me. She was patched up soon enough--and good as new. The scars were still there, she did try to cut herself, but thank god they were healing. The guy and she just stood there in each others arms and acted as if nothing happened.

That night, he told me what a big mistake he had made choosing that girl. He said he was lucky that nothing had happened. Case closed--right--wrong. The other day was one of our first working days for a well-known call-centre company, and we had been training for this day for three months. But I still didn't feel ready, and the guys who were over us just wanted to do it. I thought that was not fair to the customers, and soon just walked out of the building.

I had been getting a call from someone on my cell, and finally decided to answer it as I was leaving the building. It was her, and it looked like she was gonna kill her self. I asked her to meet me at his place, and was there before she had arrived.

We got to talking and soon she told me about her problems, and I told her about mine (the company I was working for) she cried, I consoled her, and then I thought it would be best if we both slept. So I went to sleep on the bed-sheet in the hall and asked her to go to sleep, in her room.

Soon the guys were back, and I woke up with all the knocking--and opened the door. It seems that she had called them and told them that I was there, sleeping. They asked me if I was alright, and why I had left all of a sudden, and then the guy told me I could have told him that I wanted to sleep with her.

I sat their stupefied for a sec, and then went for my shoes (it was already 2 o'clock at night) and I didn't want to stay their any longer.

The guys told me to relax, to not take things so seriously, but I wasn't going to accept that accusation at any cost. The guys tried to change my mind, but I was hurt--this from people I thought would be my life long friends.

We talked till it was daylight, and then the guy went into the room and told her to get out, and after he had come back from dropping her, I roared out of there. I was really upset with another guy who was there and didn't say anything at all, and when I asked him why not--he said it was between the two of you.

I slept for the whole day, and woke up at night to go with dad to the shop. I also took the guy's call--not the girlfriend's one, but the other--and told him that I was coming to his place with a brother of mine, and some of his friends. He said fine.

That evening I told the whole thing to my cousin brother, and he suggested we take a couple of his friends and go and see him. Soon we were there, but the girlfriend guy wasn't, only the other one, and so my cousin and his friends said that they'd wait outside. A minute or two later, the other guy was back, on his bike--and he asked me why I got someone else involved. I told him to take it easy, that the guys were just gonna talk to him--that's all--I didn't bring them here for a fight.

And along came my Cousin-brother and his two friends, from the shop around the corner. One of them was a tough guy and he started off with the abuse--he was a bodybuilder too--and had his chest sticking out. My cousin-brother was holding him back, and he's a pretty big guy too. As soon as the dust settled my cousin brother explained to them what kind of a guy I was, and they were wrong of accusing me.

We then drove out of there. Except for today, when I was thinking about both of them again... maybe I did over-do it. After the entire incident, I went back there again, and met the guy, and told him that I knew that I was a coward, I didn't have muscles like him, but I had expected more from him. And that he better be nice to the girl, at which point he asked the girl to come out, and when she was asked if she wanted to be with him--said yes.

I said fine, I've said what I've had to say--I'll stay in my corner, and you can stay in yours--and got back on the bike which I had come and went home. Only to receive another call from the other guy asking me why I had come and if I would come again--I said no.

Except today, I was thinking about them and all the good times we had. They were both very close to me, in the sense that I'd stay over at their place ever day, and I could also call them up at any point--but not now--did I lose something here? Were they really meant to be my friends? And why was the girl taking so many calls, not that that gave him any right to act like the way he did with her, but, you know, what happened?
I just remembered, I had the accident a few days afterwords--like two maybe--and nope, they were not related, except that was the first question that popped into my mother's mind, and then mine too, but for them to have been their at that time, and to have caught me outside--kind of unlikely.
posted by hadjiboy 31 January | 01:23
You need a better circle to hang out with. I'm serious. You keep getting into situations where you get into trouble with some bozos coz of their relationship with a girl and then they accuse you of something or other and then you have some tough friends come to sort it out. What's up with that? Maybe it's not the best way to spend your life.
posted by Firas 31 January | 02:12
In other words, you were not wrong to take her side, but the whole affair is an unhappy vortex in the first place.
posted by Firas 31 January | 02:13
Yeah, Firas--I've got to get better friends, or at least avoid the ones like this. You know what the gambit was--I thought that they were cool, and so I decided to hang out with them. That's my whole problem right there--why did I think they were cool--because they stayed out until late at night, or even morning, and did stuff like this.

They also stayed alone, away from their parents, which I thought had it's own appeal. I was so wrong back then--what else can I say--an exercise in youth, if nothing else.
posted by hadjiboy 31 January | 02:31
Huh? Is this AskMe? *checks page color*

No, sure looks like MetaChat. Huh. Maybe I didn't wake up at 5am after all, and I'm still dreaming.
posted by Eideteker 31 January | 05:55
Sorry, didn't mean to do that--honest mistake, but Askme didn't even cross my mind.
posted by hadjiboy 31 January | 06:35
Honestly hadjiboy, you seem to get into trouble a lot around girls, when you have nothing but pure intentions or nothing but respect and perhaps some romantic interest. I'm with Firas, you need better friends. Guy had a serious jealousy issue rregarding her ex (and you knew it) and the person she consoles with is _also a male_? Kinda stupid, that.
posted by dabitch 31 January | 09:31
(Not saying you had any romantic interest in this case, I just recall some previous post where you fancied someone but she didn't fancy you and wanted to stay just friends or something)
posted by dabitch 31 January | 09:32
dude, my only question is: how old are you again?

I'm sorry but I just got flashbacks of high school when I read this. All the drama and he-said, she-said stuff and the kerfuffle with foot soldiers at the door.

Hadjiboy - I know when it happens, it seems intense and all, but certain people make stupid choices and those choices radiate out into other people's lives and cause all manner of headache.

You have the chance to walk away from all this and not plague your head with a bunch of "what does it all mean?" statements.

Work on yourself, man. That's the only way any girl, with or without drama, will enter your life in a meaningful way. Until then, avoid people like this. They aren't aware of you and barely aware of themselves.

Move on.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 31 January | 09:41
I agree dabitch... sometimes I get too caught up with these girls. I think from now on I should just concentrate on my self, and leave the other stuff to god, or luck--whichever comes first.

The previous poster that you're talking about is Jackie, the only girl who came to see me in the hospital, and even she doesn't like me in that way. So it's two for two.

By the "other stuff" I mean my hunt to get a girl who will be happy to get married to me and be my soul-mate forever and ever.
posted by hadjiboy 31 January | 11:40
Thanks Thespian--some good advice there--I'll try and not think of my self as that boy in my name...

It's about time I grew up, and no more of this stuff...
posted by hadjiboy 31 January | 11:45
HALPP!! || London meetup bump.

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