MetaChat - I think it will be difficult for me to have real friends for a while.

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29 January 2009

I think it will be difficult for me to have real friends for a while. *Not* a "Poor Me" post!→[More:]

Just thinking through the facebook stuff from the other day.. Really, it's fine. Until at least mid 2010 I'm not going to have much time to myself, or time to cultivate friends that would, say, spontaneously make mixtapes for each other. (Or maybe that doesn't really happen in this country?)

I have a wonderful husband and good friends, we just all are working so hard that there's no time for anything. It sure would be nice if one of my friends was the one initiating contact all the time.. In the last few years Ive been able to keep that under control, so nobody thinks I am needy, but I'm annoyed at myself for having to ration contact with people.

Sp many of you are so interesting to me - it would be so fun to get together for drinks or dinner or movies or walking around, or silly stuff.. If any of you are ever in Glasgow you are welcome to stay in my home.

post by: By the Grace of God at: 05:48 | 3 comments

Yeah, I think the "spontaneous mixtape" thing is really a product of a specific cultural setting and even a particular age demographic. I think you may be overthinking things to a certain extent: all married couples find the old ways of socializing fraying away. Why don't you do the another sort of thing and host dinner parties every couple weeks? Invite everyone and everyone they know, maybe one or two will show up!

I'm not sure of what the context is of the whole "rationing contact" deal, but you're probably right. Some people are just on different wavelengths and you have to be mindful of whom you can email everytime something funny happened in your day, whom you only congratulate on their birthday but mostly don't talk to, etc. etc.

posted by Firas 29 January | 06:46

It sucks trying to make friends with people like you! Most people my age (early-mid 30s, but even actually into the late 20s) seem to feel they don't need new friends. But you never know when you might regret turning away an applicant. It's when friendship is abundant that we should remember that it isn't always so.

I'd love to go to Glasgow, though. My people come from Scotland, around Laurencekirk, Aberdeenshire. It's miniscule. My grandfather left in the '20s.

True fact: he was reconnected with his late sister's daughter, whom he never knew because his sister remained in Scotland, by a radio show on the CBC here in Canada, about 10 years ago. She's visited here a couple of times since then.

posted by loiseau 29 January | 11:08

The truth is, for us old married couples, socialization is kinda tough.

I honestly mostly use my gym time as social time. I rarely have lunch or coffee or go do anything with my friends-sometimes we attend church events together (my yearly retreat excursion to the mountains in particular) but yeah, life keeps us all pretty busy. Thank God for email/twitter/Facebook/my cell phone.

If I were you (and had the time and desire) I think a dinner party would be just the ticket to get the socialization thing going.

posted by bunnyfire 29 January | 15:26

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