DUDE IN THE LUNCHROOM: THIS IS THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW THAT YOU'VE STOOD STARK STILL DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF WHERE I WAS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO GO, AND YOU JUST KEPT BLABBERING AND BLABBERING TO A PERSON WHO WAS TIRED OF LISTENING TO YOU INSTEAD OF MOVING ASIDE. MAYBE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME SAY "EXCUSE ME" BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY PONTIFICATING ON SOCIAL SECURITY PRIVATIZATION, BUT MY POINTING AND MY SLIDING MY HANDS IN A "MOVE TO THE SIDE" GESTURE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ADDITIONAL CLUES.

SERIOUSLY, GET OUT OF MY WAY.

EXCHANGE 2007 MODIFIES HEADERS UNNECESSARILY!!11!!! STUPID PEOPLE IN REDMOND THINK THEY KNOW BETTER SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW STANDARDS!

WORSE STILL, YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!

WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HOT? WHY WHY WHY? I HAVEN'T SLEPT ALL WEEK. THE LOWEST THE TEMPERATURE GOT LAST NIGHT WAS 28 FREAKING DEGREES C. THAT'S ABOUT 82.5 F. IT IS GOING TO BE AROUND 110 F (OR 43ISH) FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

THIS IS UNBEARABLE.

BOSS: DON'T GET MAD AT ME WHEN I CALL YOU TO QUESTION MR. RANDOM MAN I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE WHO SAYS HE'S FIXING OUR COMPUTERS. I DON'T CARE HOW LITTLE YOU PAY HIM, HE CAN DEAL WITH SOMEONE MAKING SURE HE'S LEGIT BEFORE THEY LET HIM NEAR THE CONFIDENTIAL MEDICAL INFORMATION. SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU YELLED AT ME ABOUT THAT! WTF?????

JUST IN TIME FOR THE LATEST INSTALLMENT OF EVERYONE'S FAVORITE ALL-CAPS NOSTALGIC RANT, "TIME FOR SOME STORIES"!

TODAY'S EPISODE: "ROCKET"

"THIS IS SHORT AND KIND OF DEPRESSING. IN GRADE SIX I WENT TO THIS 'SPECIAL' SCHOOL WITH A BUNCH OF SUPPOSEDLY SMART KIDS, BUT THE SCHOOL WAS SO FAR AWAY WE HAD TO TAKE THE HIGHSCHOOL SCHOOL BUS, WHICH WAS A HORRIFYING EXPERIENCE IN ITSELF. ANYWAY OF COURSE WE ALL SAT UP FRONT AND PRAYED TO GOD THAT THE NINTH GRADERS WOULDN'T BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF US.ANYWAY THERE WAS THIS ONE KID WHO LOOKED ABOUT TWENTY YEARS OLD, AND HE WAS CLEARLY VERY MENTALLY HANDICAPPED, AND HIS NICKNAME WAS 'ROCKET'. HE WORE THIS BLACK LEATHER VEST EVERY SINGLE DAY, AND EVERY ONE OF HIS TEETH LOOKED LIKE IT WAS A CANINE. HE COULDN'T REALLY TALK, HE JUST MADE NOISES AND ROCKED AROUND AND GRINNED AT EVERYONE WITH HIS HORRIBLE FANGY MOUTH."

MORE SHOUTY TALES OF CANADIAN MYSTERY HERE!

JONATHANSTRANGE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send some of that heat our way, we've had 44" of snow here in the Boston area so far this winter and counting, today it snowed almost a foot and then turned completely to rain...but that 44" of snow alongside all the highways is blocking all the drains, so there's a lot of flooding going on right now. We're starting to get that almost-February look, tree branches snapped and scattered along the streets, along with chucks of asphalt that have heaved up, people going a bit crazy because it's a long way to spring....

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AXDRSERKMAWLEIRDASERZSERSAERXXCVZ

THAT IS HOW MY DAY HAS BEEN

Yesterday, I locked myself out of my car as it was idling, I wanted to clear the snow off as it warmed up. It was late.

I called the campus police, they couldn't get it open.

Called a locksmith, he called 20 minutes later, saying he's going to be another 20 minutes because he got a speeding ticket.

20 minutes later, he shows up and pops open my car. It's 8:30 pm, my car has been idling for about an hour. I'm out ~100 dollars for the slip up.

During this time, I discover that my phone service sucks, as I have to repeat my location several times to several different people because they hear every other word I say. Dialing a phone is hard when you can't feel your fingers.

I AM EXTREMELY ON EDGE THIS MORNING HAVING HATE FOR THE OFFICE AND THE WORLD AND THE WINTER AND FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING SICK AND I NEED TO GET LAID PRETTY MUCH AND I AM SO GRUMPY THAT PEOPLE ARE PROBABLY THINKING THAT THEMSELVES, ALONG WITH A BLESS HER HEART SMILE.

HELLOJED THAT SUCKS VERY MUCH.

THIS CAPS LOCK SHOUTING FAILS TO SATISFY.

A FRIEND'S 40-DAY-OLD BABY DIED IN HIS SLEEP OF SIDS.

THEN I HAD SOME BIG RELATIONSHIP TALK WITH THE BOY THE OTHER NIGHT THAT WENT VERY LATE AND ENDED IN TEARS AND FRUSTRATION AND DOUBTS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP. THEN IT CONTINUED THROUGH EMAIL ALL YESTERDAY, WITH NEITHER OF US GETTING ANYTHING DONE AT WORK OR ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING WITH THE RELATIONSHIP.

CAME HOME TO FIND OLIVE HAD HAD DIARRHEA IN HER KENNEL AND IT WAS EVERYWHERE. LOADS OF LAUNDRY, DOG BATH, AND SCRUBBED THE BARS OF HER KENNEL.

THEN I HAD ABOUT 18 HOURS OF ACCOUNTING HOMEWORK TO DO - STILL DIDN'T GET IT ALL DONE DESPITE DOING IT UNTIL AFTER MIDNIGHT.

GREAT FUCKING BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY.

NOW I'M CRABBY AND HAVE A HEADACHE AND WOULD LIKE TO JUST CALL IN TO WORK.

I'm sorry to hear that, Rhapsodie. I wish there was something I could say. These things take time. Make sure your friend(s) give (themselves) time. The temptation to not do so is great. They need to live, day by day. It gets better, but never the same.

You love your dog even though she shit her room. Loving a sick dog on your birthday is pretty sweet. Chin up. Closing your eyes and smiling is good for headaches. Sometimes it makes me cry a little but every tear eases the pain.

Now:

THERE I WAS, SITTING UNDER THIS PLATFORM WHERE I HAD JUST INSTALLED THE METAL SHELVES I BUILT YESTERDAY. STEAM WAS RISING FROM MY HEAD FROM THE WORK AND THE CHILL IN THE ROOM. IN WALKS MY LANDLADY WITH ANOTHER FRIEND OF HERS (NOT THE ONE I'M WORKING FOR) AND SHE TRIES TO CONTINUE HAVING THE ARGUMENT SHE WAS HAVING WITH HER FRIEND (MY BOSS) YESTERDAY ABOUT EXACTLY HOW THE SHELVES SHOULD BE CONFIGURED. I WASN'T HAVING ANY OF IT, AND POLITELY SAID AS MUCH. SO SHE TURNS TO HER FRIEND AND STARTS EXPLAINING THE WHOLE THING, AND REFERS TO ME AS "THIS IDIOT" AND "THIS STUPID GUY."

AT WHICH POINT I START GROWLING, WHICH TURNS INTO THIS FRUSTRATED NON-VERBAL UTTERANCE LASTING A FEW SECONDS, KIND OF A WAIL AND A SHOUT ALL AT ONCE; HOW DO I ELUCIDATE THAT IT'S TOTALLY UNFAIR FOR MY LANDLADY TO USE THE FACT THAT I'M BROKE AS AN EXCUSE TO INSULT ME TO HER FRIENDS IN FRONT OF MY FACE? ON MY WAY OUT, I POINTED AT HER AND SHOUTED "THE INSULTS JUST KEEP PILING UP!"

SO THE SHELVES AREN'T QUITE FINISHED BUT I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE FOR A WHILE. THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE IN SOHO, SINCE EVERYTHING HAS TO BE MOVED TODAY, AND I'LL WORK ON THAT END OF THE TRIP. AND I'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO MY BOSS THAT I WON'T WORK WITH MY LANDLADY INSULTING ME ANYMORE.

OF COURSE, MY LANDLADY MAY KICK ME OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR THIS. GOOD THINGS PASSING.

I MEAN, WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST FUCKING LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE WHEN THEY'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HARD DAY'S WORK? HOW THE HELL CAN YOU REACH AN ADVANCED AGE WITHOUT KNOWING TO BACK OFF? COULDN'T SHE SEE THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INTO THAT SHIT WITH HER? WAS SHE JUST PRODDING ME FOR A REACTION? WELL, SHE GOT ONE. AND NOW THE CONSEQUENCES ARE THAT THE GO-TO GUY ON THIS PROJECT IS ONE THIN SKIN FROM QUITTING. WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE I'M NOT EVEN WORKING FOR HER, AND HER FRIEND REALLY NEEDS MY HELP, AND I REALLY NEED THE MONEY.

But that's really nothing. Easy come, easy go.

<3 Hugh Janus

whoah, Hugh, that's ridiculous. Damn. my incorporeal astrally projecting self has just delivered a right smart slap to that woman. I usually use this power only for good, but my incorporeal self is pissed off.

{{{{{everybody}}}}}