Speak, walk, and move quietly. Let her explore the new place on her own time. She'll come round to you when she has learned to be comfortable with the space.

You did show her the litter box right?

"Show"? As in physically take her there? Um, no, I put it in its spot and figured she'd be able to find it by smell. The other stuff-- moving quietly-- I think I've been managing. It didn't help that while I was opening the tuna can I dropped it on the bedroom floor. Oy.

*is now worried that she won't know how to find the litterbox*

As long as it's near to where she is hiding she will find it. You can always move it later. " It didn't help that while I was opening the tuna can I dropped it on the bedroom floor." Yeah, that was probably a deal killer right there.

Dogs attach to people first and location second. As long as the owner is near the dog is generally not upset by a change in location. Cats attach to location first and people second. That's why even if the owner is still with the cat the cat will freak for a bit when moving to a new space.

So don't worry she doesn't hate you. She just needs to sort out the new place first.

Hmmm. It's in the bathroom, which is down the hall from my bedroom. Maybe I should move it into the bedroom for now?

Thanks for the help, arsehat. :)

You might put the box closer to her for tonight if she really isn't moving around much.

Some cats take quite a lot of time to acclimatize. She might. Just don't push her to do anything, and move slowly and be gentle when she does start to venture out a little.

Don't expect a lot too fast...my cat (also adopted in middle age) really was standoffish for a year or so. She'd sit next to me, not on my lap, and eventually would sleep on the bed, but not touching me, and only at the foot. Gradually over the years all that stuff eroded and she became much more confident and cozy. It may take her a while to adjust, so accept her as she is day to day. She'll warm up.

No, don't move the litterbox. The next time she ventures out, pick her up, take her to the litterbox and scratch her front paws across the litter. She will act like she hates you and you'll feel incredibly guilty and she'll dart back under the bed and it will all be terrible but then, amazingly, she will totally get over it. It will help if you sit quietly by the bed with an open can of catfood in your lap humming. You, not the catfood. And then she'll know where the litterbox is and she'll use it when you're not looking.

Pets are like babies. It takes a while for everybody to get used to each other and cats are faster, actually, than babies. So in three weeks it will all be cool.

I'd go with what mgl says if she comes out before you go to bed and you can grab her up with a minimum of fuss. Otherwise I'd move the box.

And, you are doing a good thing.

Hmm. Okay. I did move the litterbox into the bedroom just for tonight, and put some food and water within reach. I don't think she's going to come out for a while, but that's okay. I'm not expecting great shows of affection any time soon (or ever, she's a bit of an introvert cat) so I'm just going to let her find her own way. Again, thanks all for advice!

And, you are doing a good thing.

Ah, thanks. She's 11, and was in dire need of a home. I hesitated a bit at first-- I do have allergies, though I've been able to tolerate other cats in the past-- but my heart said yes. She's lovely-- half Siamese, and all silvery with a racoon striped tail.

"half Siamese, and all silvery with a racoon striped tail" She sounds like a cutie. I'm sure you will both find your equilibrium.

Give the cat some time to itself by going out and buying a sticky roller clothes brush thingy. You may not need it often but eventually you will need it.

Pictures when she's used to her new home please! She sounds lovely!

She's lucky to have you :)

She's come out! She's checking out the living room. I'm sitting here with the laptop trying to act all cool.

And Ardiril-- I have the lint brush ready to go.

WooHoo!

aw! Good for you jokeefe! Can't wait to see pix.

I was just about to post a link to my AskMe question wherein I asked about my new cat who had been hiding for weeks. Synopsis - at first he hid under the bed, snarled and spat when approached, and would come out at night when we were asleep to use litter box and eat, then six weeks after we brought him home he came out from under the bed, tail held high, meowing for dinner like nothing had happened. He went from 'terrified' to 'totally friendly to everyone' in, like, a day.

But it sounds like yours has come round much quicker! Good on you, jokeefe, for giving her a home and making her welcome.

A couple of months ago I adopted my charming 8 y/o Turkish Van/Siamese cat Lilou. She showed exactly the same behaviour as your cat for the first week or so, and it took her several weeks to really relax and take ownership of the apartment.

On the first day she immediately found a spot in a corner behind a couch and stayed there. I just went over to say hello every now and then, reaching down to give her a very gentle pat. Eventually I picked her up and took her to see the foodbowl and the litter box before putting her back near her safe place. As there are a number of cats in my apartment block and I'm near various busy roads I kept her inside for the first week or so and had no problems at all with her finding her way around.

Not much else to add to the excellent advice earlier in the thread, except that adopting a grown-up cat is quite different from getting a kitten. You and the cat have both seen a bit of life and have your likes and dislikes. Policies w/r/t both parties' sleeping places, meal times, petting duration/method, waking hours, etc., will have to be sort of negotiated, rather than imposed, if you want to have a happy relationship.

In conclusion: congratulations! May you and the cat be very happy together.

This worked for me fantastically with two different cats: Just lie down on the floor a couple of feet away from the hiding place. If she's a kitten, lie on your side like her real mom would. If she's probably too old for kitten memories, just pretend you're asleep. Works every time (2 for 2, anyway)!

Another thing to get your cat comfortable with you: the slow eye blink. This is how cats smile, or so I read somewhere. Every time you look your cat in the face, try to do that. She will probably relax a little and blink right back at you.

Just call me the cat whisperer...sort of.

Thanks again, everyone. We seem to be doing well. And yes, I know about the blinking "smile"! I try to give her one whenever possible.

Last night, when I was reading in bed, she came and sat with me for a bit. There was even some purring.

She used the litterbox, no problem. 5 minutes later I determined that it really belonged in the bathroom, rather than the bedroom.

I got up to pee in the night and she followed me, and said hello when I came out of the bathroom.

Now she's found a place in the living room where she can watch what's going on, but feel protected as well. She's still very alert to new sounds-- I can imagine that's a bit part of her getting used to being here, adjusting to the various noises.

So far so good then-- she hasn't eaten yet, so I'll make a point of showing her the food dish in a bit. I want to give her some treats, like a bit of chicken, but I don't want to upset the diet she's used to.

In short, I think we're going to be fine. No allergy symptoms yet, bonus.

Sounds good! I do hope she eats soon.

Update: Litterbox in usage, and established in appropriate spot in bathroom; last night there was lounging on the couch-- wiggling and all four feet in the air-- and then I watched a movie on my laptop, and she came and sat on the arm of the comfy chair with me, and I sckritched her head. She seems much more relaxed in general-- but she's still not eating, though of course her food is available, and she knows where it is. I was thinking of buying some tuna packed in oil and dribbling a bit on the dry food to make it irresistible... but so far, the rest seems to be going well.