Hulk out.

My give-up-quickly method:

1. Get one of those iron-on patch kits and iron the patch on the reverse side of where the tear is happening. Make sure the patch extends beyond the tear on each edge so it stops the tearing.

2. Then choose a patch color and make a patch, which you sew on the outside over the tear as sort of an accent piece. Looks like a big obvious patch.

Unfortunately there's not much else you can do. Once denim gets thin enough to spontaneously disintegrate like that, you really can't just sew it back together. The individual threads have weakened enough to break. A patch is about the only thing - you can do different 'looks' with different patches, but you can't make it look like it's not patched - at least not very successfully. You can use this method but you'll be able to tell there's a patch under there because the fabric is stiffer.

go with the flow baby, it's just the third stage of a jean life cycle. It's natural.

Hold a series of special elections for the selection of a new favorite.

I miss wearing pants.

My son blows out the knees in his jeans on a monthly basis and I've been patching them from the inside. It's not pretty but it works (a 10 year boy doesn't have much of a fashion bar to leap).

There's this company, which repairs denim by reweaving the worn or torn area. Pricey but they've gotten good reviews.

jamaro, interesting service and I might consider it. I do want to know how someone ended up with these holes in their crotch, though (sfw)

I'm going to assume that the owner of those holey crotch jeans has catfarts.