MetaChat - Itching to burn the bridges.

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19 December 2008

Itching to burn the bridges. I am getting so frustrated with being stuck part-time in my old career while I try to accumulate enough schooling/supervision/experience to go into my new career full-time. →[More:] My old-career (marketing) bosses are wanting a hell of a lot more emotional commitment to that industry and job than I can muster, but my new-career industry (therapy) won't pay me anything yet. I feel like it's this constant scramble and it's wearing me out. :-(

I had a performance review at my marketing job this week that just highlighted how completely unsuited I am for the profession -- or, I guess, at least for this particular job -- and while my bosses were totally great and positive and helpful about the professional growth I need to do for the position, internally I was just thinking, "I do not have the emotional resources to give a shit about this, at all." So I feel like I'm lying to them about caring about the job (though I do care about my work, in that I put thought and time and effort into it), which I don't like, either.

Sigh. Mope mope mope. Mope.

post by: occhiblu at: 13:46 | 8 comments

You know, I used to feel that way (before I got laid off). I kept a copy of goatse on my office computer, in case I ever needed to use it. However, they gave me a decent severance package, so it was never deployed. Not to be an asshole or anything, but you actually have a job, which is more than I can say for myself at the moment. :-(

posted by pieisexactlythree 19 December | 14:01

Not to be an asshole or anything, but you actually have a job, which is more than I can say for myself at the moment. :-(

Yeah, I do know I'm lucky in that. And part of me kind of feels guilty for not giving the opportunity to someone else, in a way -- I'm sure they could find someone else who would actually want to be there.

posted by occhiblu 19 December | 14:14

Do they know you're changing careers? It must be kind of hard to smile and nod while they suggest professional development goals, when you really want to be developing another profession! Sorry -- I know what it's like to have a job asking for more emotional investment than really works for you.

posted by Miko 19 December | 14:16

Do they know you're changing careers?

Yes, they do, though I don't think they really get it. I was talking to my father about this last night -- who on earth hires someone, even part-time, who's just gone to school in a totally different field, told you that she's pursuing licensing in that field, and working part-time to accumulate supervised hours in that field? I mean, my marketing resume right now screams "DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET OUT OF MARKETING!!! ONLY DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY!!!" It seems like it would be idiotic to hire me for this position.

And they keep talking about my counseling work as my "volunteer work," like it's some little side project. The say, "We know your volunteer work takes a lot of time and emotion..." and I'm thinking, "That's because it's my job."

posted by occhiblu 19 December | 14:23

"We know your volunteer work takes a lot of time and emotion"

*UGH*

posted by Miko 19 December | 14:25

No advice here. I'll send a psychic shin-kick to your stupid bosses, though.

Hang in there.

posted by mudpuppie 19 December | 14:40

occhiblu, that's just the personality type of people who go into marketing. They blissfully assume their goals are the only ones that exist.

Probably the only reason they can STAND those marketing jobs, I think.

posted by bunnyfire 19 December | 21:14

I would hire a short-timer if they were vastly better than the other applicants. So maybe you were.

posted by grouse 20 December | 14:31

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