I heard from Paul about a month ago. He's fine, but very busy. He said he doesn't check his email as often as he used to.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, my dear. Sometimes it's all we can do to put one foot in front of the other, taking baby steps.

I think I may be missing some backstory here but I just want to say sometimes we don't need a big bad thing to feel bad about. You're in the UK so it's probably much like here -- this time of year is hard for people. It's pitch black before 5 pm. It's the arse end of the year. It's okay to be bummed out. Make sure you stay in touch with people and be kind to yourself.

I miss him. Say Hi for me if you email him?

Yeah, what loiseau said. And also, depression is something that comes and goes like a sine wave. You've dealt with this before, and you'll do it again, except now you've hopefully got some tools in your pocket that you can use to change out your brakepads. And also, ignoring the pain is sometimes just as bad as wallowing in it.

I hope this doesn't come off as too condescending...

will do theora5!