OMG YOUR MOTHER MAKES ME ANGRY TOO!!!

I FEEL YOUR PAIN, SCODY. I REALLY DO. WHEN OUR PARENTS SAY SHIT LIKE THIS, IT'S INFURIATING. BUT WHEN A PATIENT SAYS: "OBAMA IS IN WITH THE TERRORISTS. THEY'RE COMING OVER TO KILL US.", I HAVE TO JUST LAUGH AND LOVE HIS CRAZY WAYS.

YEAH! THAT SERIOUSLY SUCKS! PIE, YELL ABOUT YOUR MOM, TOO, CAUSE SERIOUSLY, YOUR IN GOOD COMPANY!!

OH AND BTW - I'M PROUD I'VE NEVER SMOKED POT. I NEVER NEEDED TO. SO THERE. I COULD GIVE TWO SHITS THAT SUPPOSEDLY ALCOHOL CAUSES MORE ACCIDENTS. IT JUST MEANS BOTH THING ARE BAD IN THEIR OWN WAY. MAY THIS NEVER BE THE SOURCE OF A RIDICULOUS ARGUMENT AGAIN. :P

yeah! I had something to shout about!

OH AND BTW - I'M PROUD I'VE NEVER SMOKED POT. I NEVER NEEDED TO.

*cough*

want some?

(I prefer booze, too, but pot is nice...)

(Thanks for the offer. lol Not saying anything about anyone who has, I'm just really sick of being made fun of for my lack of interest.)

I'm just really sick of being made fun of for my lack of interest.

Well, you're failing to support the snack-food industry by not engaging in weed-fueled Ho-Ho, Slim Jim and Funyun binges! I hope you can live with yourself! You're the parasite, lady!

BUT WHEN A PATIENT SAYS: "OBAMA IS IN WITH THE TERRORISTS. THEY'RE COMING OVER TO KILL US.", I HAVE TO JUST LAUGH AND LOVE HIS CRAZY WAYS.

IT'S EASIER TO LAUGH WHEN YOU CONTROL THE I.V.!

@jonmc On the contrary. I single-handedly keep the Pirate Booty cheese puff market alive. Also, Fritos...

my vices result from legal drugs...nom nom antidepressants...

That's all right, sakura. I smoked your share.

Thanks! :D

I single-handedly keep the Pirate Booty cheese puff market alive.

Pirate Booty dosen't count as real junk food.

IT'S EASIER TO LAUGH WHEN YOU CONTROL THE I.V.!

Ah, this may come in handy for future reference....

No good, scody, so sorry. That would make me super mad too.

ahem.

I JUST SPENT THREE DAYS CAREFULLY COMPOSING AN EMAIL TO LET ABOUT 40 PEOPLE KNOW WHEN WE WERE GOING TO BE WHERE FOR VISITING AND CAREFULLY PUT TOGETHER THE LIST OF PEOPLE IT NEEDED TO GO TO AND THEN ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH CC'D THEM INSTEAD OF BCC'D THEM.

SOME OF WHOM I'VE HAD TO POLITELY ASKED THEM TO BCC INSTEAD OF CC. AND SOME OF WHOM DON'T GET ALONG WITH ONE ANOTHER AND DON'T WANT EMAIL ADDRESSES SHARED.

I CAN'T DECIDE IF I NOW SEND AN EMAIL OUT APOLOGIZING AND SAYING I'M A NOOB OR IF I JUST PLAY IT OFF LIKE I DIDN'T NOTICE.

AND THEN I BROKE MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER'S CHRISTMAS BELL THAT IS MY VERY FAVORITE DECORATION AND I'VE BEEN SO CAREFUL WITH IT AND MOVED IT ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. SHATTERED IT RIGHT ON THE FLOOR.

sigh.

This week is shaping up like last week, I may crawl back into bed with a glass of red wine and refuse to come out until next week.

So, scody, what is your mom's career field, if I may ask? Surely she is a C*O of some mega-corporation.

Quit bogarting that thing, BOP. Also, Pirate Booty is definitely junk food. Places like Whole Foods and Trader Joe's have aisles and aisles of junk food.

sakura - to a pothead, it is inconceivable that someone would chose not to smoke, unless they had a bad reaction to it. It's like saying that you don't want ice cream. Who doesn't like ice cream?? Just pretend like your friends are slightly disabled, and repeat everything slowly a few times. (disclaimer: I was a pothead)

Wait, wait, go back to the part about the ice cream.

So yeah, I go to the restroom, and in the only available stall I discovered that someone had jizzed on the wall and not bothered to clean it up.

I don't think I can believe in the concept of Karma anymore because of this. I'm nice to people, I try to be nice, but it never comes back to me. The other day I had scooped up a large mass of plastic sheeting that had been in the parking lot since the day before and walked it to the dumpster. There are hundreds of people in my apartment complex, yet I'm the only one who bothered. Why should I clean up a world that can't take care of itself?

screw the ice cream, I have some DoubleStuf Mint Oreos.

hellojed, when I was a teenager I used to work in a major chain grocery and on Saturday mornings one of my jobs was to clean the restrooms, I can assure you that the incident you describe is small potatoes (in terms of both the men's and the ladies' room).

So, scody, what is your mom's career field, if I may ask? Surely she is a C*O of some mega-corporation.

Hee! This is the hilarious thing. She and my dad owned an art gallery; they sold it a few years ago and are now living month-to-month on social security (strangely enough!), though my dad also still paints daily. (Before that, my dad was a teacher! And she worked shitty retail jobs.) The thing is, because she and dad spent 15 years as small business-owners and some of their clientele were the captain of industry type, THAT's who she now identifies with. Bankers, auto execs, Republican vice presidents (my dad actually grew up with the Cheneys in Casper, no lie) -- those are her real peers, as far as she's concerned. The rest of us -- chumps and parasites and assholes.

God, I could go on. Like the fact that she always loved telling the story about how the moment my sister was born, she announced, "that child is going to Harvard." Yeah, real cute... because 18 years later, guess who wasn't allowed to apply anywhere else except Harvard? Yep, my sister (who got in, of course). And guess who, when she didn't get into Harvard four years later, was treated as if she had a fatal disease? Yep, me. (I redeemed myself by getting into Washington University, the so-called "Harvard of the Midwest.") For the bonus round: guess who my mother intially adored above all others because he went to Harvard Law? Yep, my sister's husband.

And guess what one of my mother's favorite insults is now? Wait for it... "Harvard elitist." (This is part of the reason she now adores my boyfriend: "he's not some goddamn elitist who graduated from Harvard with a sense of entitlement.")

MY MOTHER LIVES IN CRAZYTOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Oh, and I forgot the ultimate punch line: the part where it took my sister and me each nearly 20 years apiece to pay off our student loans, which we had to take out precisely because my parents have never been anywhere near the tax bracket of the corporate ruling class to whom she now professes total fealty.)

Hey scody, can I kick your mother in the shins? I think she quite deserves it.

...ahem.

I AM NERVOUS AND FRETTING AND WORRIED AND SCARED AND ALL THESE THINGS ARE MAKING ME JUST WANT TO CRY AND SCREAM AND GO AWAY AND DRINK DAQUIRIS ON THE BEACH LIKE I DID LAST MAY AND SMOKE WITH MY HOMIE AND GET WASTED IN SHITTY DIVE BARS. I AM NOT PREPARED TO BECOME AN ADULT. I AM NOT READY FOR ANY OF THIS SHIT, BUT I KNOW THAT IT IS ALL THINGS THAT MUST BE DONE IN DUE TIME. I HAVE TO GO TALK TO THE BOSS MAN AND BE ALL LIKE 'YES I AM THIS AWESOME, PLZ GIVE ME MORE MONIES SO I CAN MOVE OUT AND GO TO SCHOOL' BUT I'M SO AFRAID OF IT AND HAVE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF. POPS AND I ARE GOING TO GO MEET WITH A REALTOR ON WEDNESDAY ABOUT SOME CONDO AND A TOWNHOUSE THAT HE MIGHT BE GETTING A MORTGAGE FOR IN ORDER FOR ME TO LIVE THERE (BECAUSE I DON'T MAKE ENOUGH TO QUALIFY ON MY OWN) AND HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT BUYING ME A NEW CAR SINCE MY OTHER ONE WAS TOTALLED IN JUNE AND NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE ABOUT IT AND IT'S STILL IN THE DRIVEWAY AND I PARK BEHIND IT EVERY DAY AND IT JUST REMINDS ME OF JUST HOW FUCKED UP THAT SHIT IS. MY APPLICATION FOR SCHOOL IS GOING POORLY AND I'M SO AFRAID OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I AM DECLINED EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE KEEPS TALKING LIKE I'VE ALREADY BEEN ACCEPTED.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

I JUST WANT TO CURL UP IN BED FOR A WHILE AND NOT TALK TO ANYONE. AND READ BOOKS. AND PLAY WITH CUDDLING CATS THAT ARE WARM LITTLE BALLS OF LOVE.

I guess then, scody, that your mom does not - and would not - recognize her own sense for entitlement that she spewed tonight at you.

aw, sperose, bed and books and kitties sounds perfect. I hope you get some time to do just that.

And you know what? I don't think being an adult means never feeling scared. I think it means admitting feeling scared, and going ahead and doing what you're doing. So you're doing fine, in my book!

your mom does not - and would not - recognize her own sense for entitlement

Heh. You guess right!

Thanks for letting me blow off some steam, everyone. I'm gonna mosey on home and make my boy a nice dinner. There's a salmon filet in the fridge calling my name. "scody.... poach meeeee"

scody,

SHHH!!! DON'T REVEAL OBAMA'S ISLAMO-PINKO PLANS UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOUR MOM TO DO ANYTHING TO STOP HIM!!1!!

to a pothead, it is inconceivable that someone would chose not to smoke, unless they had a bad reaction to it. It's like saying that you don't want ice cream. Who doesn't like ice cream??

Some of us are completely unaffected by pot or alcohol. They both put me to sleep. I remember first trying them as a teenager when everyone around me said, this is the best feeling in the world!! And I tried it and was like, um, am I an alien or something? It's unfortunate, because there are times when it would be nice to be affected!

Now, ice cream, on the other hand...

I'M PROUD I'VE NEVER SMOKED POT. I NEVER NEEDED TO.

It's cool that you've chosen to abstain. But the "I never needed to" sounds kinda judgey.

Scody, your mom sounds like a piece of work. My dad was a young pot-puffing, anti-authoritarian peacenik hippie up until he found some success as a banker. Then, like your parents, he decided that he'd rather be the man than fight the man. (Although I think much of what he says is bluster meant to push my buttons.)

scody, your mom, omg. I don't know how you can keep civil to someone like that. I don't think I could keep up a relationship with my mum if she were like that. Big hugs.

I've never smoked pot or took any illicit drugs and I rarely drink alcohol. There's a lot of addiction in my family and that's pushed me away from it all. Food is my drug of choice(?). I'm not at all sure I made the right decision.

I'M SO CRANKY. I'M TIRED. I WANT IT TO BE HOLIDAYS. I WANT TO BE IN QUEENSLAND ALREADY DRINKING COCKTAILS AND LYING ON THE DECKING. I DON'T WANT TO BE MISSING THAT PARTY WHILE I'M GONE. I DON'T WANT TO BE AT WORK. I WANT SLEEP. I WANT GOODLY AMOUNTS OF SLEEP. I DON'T WANT TO MISS THE GOODBYE PARTY TONIGHT, BUT THINK I HAVE TO.

I HAVE SUNBURN ON ONE SIDE OF MY CLEAVAGE ONLY, AND ALSO ON THE TOPS OF MY KNEES.

I HAVE THE SNEEZES, AND JUST SNEEZED ALL OVER MY CHEST. NOW I'M ALL WET WITH SNEEZE. GREAT.

WE HAD GUESTS LAST NIGHT. THEY WERE 2.5 HOURS LATE. AND THEN I HAD TO DRIVE THEM HOME. DIDN'T GET TO BED UNTIL AFTER 12.

MY BOSSES ARE BACK FROM LONDON. I WANT TO GO TO LONDON. ALSO PARIS. WHY CAN'T I GO TOO?

I FEEL LIKE STAMPING MY FEET AND HAVING A GOOD OLD FASHIONED TEMPER TANTRUM.

ALSO - SORRY YOUR PARENTS ARE BEING SO DIFFICULT. AND TO ALL ELSE WITH GENUINE COMPLAINTS. I KNOW I'M BEING TIRED AND GRUMPY AND IRRATIONAL... BUT THAT JUST MAKES ME CRANKIER.

It's cool that you've chosen to abstain. But the "I never needed to" sounds kinda judgey.

Yes, yes it does. That's definitely how I meant it when I typed it. I was caught up in the shouting.

Srsly, I wouldn't have brought it up if the same discussion didn't result in a big ass fight and my storming off home. You have, I haven't. I don't need to have the virtues of weed and the vices of alcohol beaten over my head when I'm trying to enjoy a Bloody Mary at the Gay Bar. The whole implication was that there was something WRONG with me for not thinking pot was teh awesome. Oregon.....It has it's time and it's place. That just happens to be not with me.

HENCE THE SHOUTING!!!!!!!!GRRRR!!!!JUNK FOOOOOOOODZZZ NAO!!

That's definitely NOT how I meant it when I typed it. I was caught up in the shouting.

I'm going to play editor here and insert a 'not' for you, 'cuz I think that's what you meant, and I don't want anyone to get out of shape when the real issue is Bloody Marys and Gay Bars.

Yrrr, scody! I'd rather give presents out of choice, not because the calendar tells me I should.

Now:


I CAME BACK FROM LONDON TO FIND A PILE OF RUBBLE IN MY LINEN CLOSET!! EAT SHIT CORPORATE VULTURE!!! THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CLEAN UP AND IF THERE ARE DAMAGES, I HAVEN'T FUCKING WAIVED MY RIGHT TO CHARGE YOU WITH THEM!!!

THE CONTRACTOR TOLD ME HE COULD COME IN THE 17TH TO FINISH AND THEN TOLD ME THE MANAGEMENT COMPANY "WANTS TO COME IN" WHEN THEY STILL HAVE YET TO GET ME A FORM I NEED. GET STUFFED!! YOU'LL BE OUT OF HERE BEFORE I AM!!!

I WISH I'D BOUGHT THE CLIFT HOUSE!!!!!!

I MUST NOT WASTE MYSELF!!!

THE ECONOMY IS AFFECTING ME TOO AND I CAN'T FIND CERTAIN PAPERWORK I NEED!!!!!!!

GAH, SCODY! I'D WANT TO KICK YOUR MUM IN THE SHINS, TOO!!!!!!!

I ASKED MY ROOMMATE OVER A MONTH AGO IF SHE'D MAIL ONE OF MY WINTER COATS TO THE FRIEND I'M STAYING WITH IN VANCOUVER (AND SENT HER THE MONEY TO DO IT). SENT HER THE INFO TWICE, INCLUDING DESCRIPTIONS OF THREE COATS THAT WOULD WORK. 'CAUSE I WON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO GALIANO AND THEN I'M GOING TO CALGARY WHERE IT'S RILLY RILLY RILLY FUCKING COLD! I'M HAPPY THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO BRING MY STUFF TO TOWN FOR ME, REALLY I AM, BUT MAYBE YOU'D HAVE FOUND AN ACTUAL WINTER COAT (OF WHICH I LEFT AT LEAST TWO OUT) IF YOU'D STARTED LOOKING MORE THAN TEN MINUTES BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE FERRY!!!!!!!!! GAH! THAT ANCIENT LEATHER ONE YOU BROUGHT? WITH THE SHREDDED LINING? YEAH, THAT'S NOT GOING TO BE TOO HELPFUL WHEN IT'S TWENTY BELOW FUCKING FREEZING! AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE THE BELOW FREEZING WEATHER EXPERIENCE WILL START IN VAN ON THE WEEKEND! I'M GONNA FREEZE MY COJONE-EQUIVALENTS OFF!

ALSO, WHY THE HELL DOES MY LAPTOP KEEP TURNING ITSELF ON? IF I WANTED YOU RUNNING, YOU WRETCHED BEAST, I'D DAMN WELL TURN YOU ON! THAT'S WHAT THE ON BUTTON IS FOR! SO STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!

LOVE, ME XOXOXO

IS IT TOO LATE TO SHOUT? BECAUSE I NEED TO DO SOME SHOUTING AS WELL AS SYMPATHIZING WITH EVERYONE ELSE ALTHOUGH I MUST SAY THAT I DON'T LIKE ICE CREAM VERY MUCH BUT I DO ENJOY MARIJUANA ALTHOUGH NOT AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I AM ON A HEAVY DUTY STRAIGHT EDGE KICK WHICH IS NOT UNFORTUNATELY SOLVING ANY OF MY PROBLEMS EXCEPT THE WAKING UP HUNGOVER ONE AND HOPEFULLY THE ONE WHERE I GAIN FIVE POUNDS OVER THE HOLIDAYS.

ANYWAY. YESTERDAY MY SLACKER BOSS BROUGHT IN A FRIEND OF HERS WHO HAD "VOLUNTEERED" TO COMPLETELY REDO THE WEBSITE AND I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THAT BECAUSE REALLY I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT BY NOW SINCE IT'S BEEN ON MY LIST FOR LIKE TWO YEARS SO I FEEL LIKE I DID COME OFF SOMEWHAT DEFENSIVE. BUT THIS GUY CAME ON REALLY STRONG AND EVERYTHING HE WAS PROPOSING WAS SUPER EXPENSIVE AND WOULD TAKE A TON OF TIME THAT NOBODY HERE HAS, LIKE IF I COULD GET ALL NEW CONTENT OUT OF THE WHOLE STAFF THAT WOULD ROCK BUT FRANKLY IT'S UNLIKELY SINCE I'M STILL BEGGING FOR ARTICLES FOR THE NEWSLETTER THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUT EONS AGO.

AND THEN I SAID LOOK WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE IT AND UPDATE IT FROM HERE VERY EASILY AND RIGHT NOW I'M USING DREAMWEAVER AND THE PROBLEM IS THAT THREE YEARS AGO A VOLUNTEER CREATED THE DAMN SITE AND LOCKED IT INTO AN UNCHANGEABLE TEMPLATE WHICH HAS BEEN A BIG PAIN AND THEN DISAPPEARED AND I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN AT WHICH POINT THIS GUY BIT MY HEAD OFF. THEN HE ACCUSED ME OF INTERRUPTING HIM AND BEING RUDE AND I GOT VERY (SILENTLY) UPSET BUT APOLOGIZED NICELY AND DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE MEETING UNLESS I WAS DIRECTLY ADDRESSED AND THEN HE REFUSED TO GO TO LUNCH WITH ME - THE MEETING WAS SUPPOSED TO SEGUE INTO A LUNCH MEETING.

SO I SAID POLITELY THAT I HAD WORK TO DO ANYWAY AND HE AND MY BOSS WENT OUT FOR A THREE HOUR LUNCH AND THE WHOLE THING HAS DEPRESSED ME TOTALLY BECAUSE I CAN JUST SEE THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE ANOTHER HOPELESS IMPOSSIBLE BOGGLE AND YES IT IS GOOD TO DREAM BIG BUT ON THE OTHER HAND IT IS VERY HELPFUL TO SET REALISTIC GOALS ONCE IN A WHILE SO THAT THINGS ACTUALLY GET DONE INSTEAD OF LOFTY GOALS WHERE NOTHING EVER GETS ACCOMPLISHED AND WE ALL GO PUTTERING ALONG LIKE USUAL. PLUS I GENERALLY GET ALONG REALLY WELL WITH PEOPLE AND NOTHING LIKE THIS HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY PROFESSIONAL WORLD. BUT I GUESS I FUCKED THE WHOLE THING UP SOMEHOW.

AND I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR THIS AFTERNOON FOR ANOTHER TEST THAT I DON'T MUCH WANT TO TALK ABOUT YET BUT I AM SCARED AS HELL.

I'M SORRY MGL. THAT GUY SOUNDS LIKE A DICK. REALLY, YOU ARE THE CLIENT IN THIS SITUATION, NOT YOUR BOSS, AS YOU WILL BE IN CHARGE OF MAINTAINING THE SITE, AND IT IS UNCONSIONABLE TO TREAT SOMEONE THAT WAY. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING IS GOING ON BETWEEN THIS GUY AND THE BOSS, AND I HOPE YOU DON'T GET BLAMED WHEN THINGS (inevitably) GO WRONG. DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT.

mgl: Asking him how the site will look on an iPhone is probably undoable, eh? Disclaimer: I don't have an iPhone, but from what I have seen on iPhones, they do a real good job of mangling anything beyond basic html.

That's definitely NOT how I meant it when I typed it. I was caught up in the shouting.

This is unfortunately the one area of my life where I am judgmental. Please note that I recognize that this is a personal flaw, and I seriously need to get over it. Really, it makes me a hypocrite because I am constantly telling people to consider another person's humanity and needs before passing judgment. (Hence the "I never needed to.") Like I said, a time a place for everything.

Tho-
Is it really bad to be proud of this when I'm really indifferent as to whether or not you've indulged?

My lack of drug use is one of the few things I LIKE about myself. I've had a pretty rough life and still avoided spiraling into the welfare lifestyle I was statistically prone to live. Fact is, while drug use is not the source of all ills, it is part of the system of symptoms that keep my family impoverished. I can't help but believe I've done a GOOD thing by sitting outside the passing circle. Why does ANYONE feel the need to challenge that?

*leaves the shouting, returns to the general state of irritability...*

I don't think it's so bad! I'm proud of you :-D ::pats sakura on the back::

:D Thanks! I swear to GOD sometimes I just want someone to give me a cookie.

I still have some Fig Newtons left and am willing to share.

*ahem* They are illicit Fig Newtons from the US. The Canadian Fig Newtons are way too dry, so I import them myself.