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25 November 2008

My favorite malapropist [More:]That would be Mrs. Director. The other day we were in the car waiting for a person to cross in the crosswalk. She called the person a "pestrian". That is a keeper.

I am remiss in not cateloging her funny malapropisms but I am also certain you have your own favorites.
Whenever someone graduates from something, I always say "congraduations."
posted by Melismata 25 November | 16:32
I guess that's better than "pederast".
posted by puke & cry 25 November | 16:59
Someone I worked with was a quite a prolific malapropist. Another person I work with dutifully recorded many of them. Naturally he's quite OCD. If you tried to correct her she'd either swear she was right, say "that's what I said", or "whatever." She's been retired for a few years, and nothing wants to be dislodged from my brain at this moment. I'd have to get a peek at the master list, and I won't be back at work for a couple weeks.

One of the funniest things she ever said was "I need to go home and pluck my Schnauzer", which naturally isn't a malapropism, but it made us all laugh just the same.
posted by eekacat 25 November | 17:02
My favorite malapropism is when someone asked me to pass the butter and I said "Congraduations you Schnauzer pestering pedarast!"

It was Thanksgiving. I just can't believe it's the holiday season again.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 25 November | 17:37
Not quite the same but . . . When I was in grad school, the word pedagogy was used quite often in discussing early childhood education, but in my thoughts, it always sounded like pederasty. It's a silliness that just got stuck in my head. I think it's an ADHD thing. Thankfully, I never made the mistake of pronouncing the mistake.
posted by MonkeyButter 25 November | 17:58
eekacat, I'm definitely using that as the excuse-du-jour: "Sorry, I can't make it to your sociopath brat's birthday. I have to pluck my Schnauzer."
posted by trinity8-director 25 November | 17:59

Unfortunately this sort of mistake sometimes has bad consequences.

Pediatrician mistaken for pedophile

posted by lukemeister 25 November | 21:06
I had a friend who used to refer to people's idiotsyncrasies. I still use it.
posted by elizard 25 November | 22:41
OMG. I'll be using that one...

My mom AND my partner are both malapropists extraordinaire, so sometimes it's a conscious struggle with me to remain connected to the actual English language. (Luckily their malapropisms never match each other, or I'm pretty sure I'd be pulled right through the looking glass.)
posted by BoringPostcards 25 November | 22:52
My somewhat dingy but loveable cousin would always refer to her... backside as her "spankster". It wasn't until years later I finally figured out she thought that was how you pronounced SPHINCTER.

To quote Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
posted by evilcupcakes 25 November | 22:57
Me and my hemogoblins are gonna sit this one out.
posted by lysdexic 26 November | 10:19
My ex had a macro-dyslexic way of swapping words in a phrase that ended up changing the meaning entirely. When commenting that a choice had two equal outcomes by meaning to way "it's six of one and a half dozen of the other" she would say it as "it's half of one and six dozen of the other".
posted by rocket88 26 November | 12:09
I had a French girlfriend who would say things like, "that business went bankrot," and "would you please pose the video."
posted by StickyCarpet 26 November | 12:15
My college roommate was a master. He would never complexicate things. He gave us gems like "hovitate". But then, he was Pennsylvania Dutch, and came from a family that would say things like "throw me down the stairs my hat."
posted by Eideteker 26 November | 12:48
Truman Syndrome, || Fish emblem tape/glue removal filter.