Dear Craigslist shopper: Here are some helpful hints that will help keep well-intentioned sellers (like me) from GOING FUCKING INSANE.
→[More:]
First off, don't respond to every posted ad with a message that says "i will offer u $20.00," where $20.00 = exactly half of the listed price. You know who you are. You've responded to four of my ads that way, offering half of what I asked. I don't know what kind of resale business you're running, but I hope it's failing miserably.
2. Don't respond to an ad by saying, "I'm really interested in your _________, but that's too far for me to drive. Thanks anyway."
Look, I didn't contact you. You contacted me. If everyone on Craigslist who wasn't interested in buying my ___________ contacted me, I'd have seventy bajillion emails expressing non-interest. Surely you can see how this is not sustainable? Really, I'm glad you considered it, but the email is not necessary.
C: When you do decide to buy something -- and really,
thank you for following through and for showing up when you said you would -- couldja maybe not assume that I'm going to have change for a $20? Because the whole reason I'm selling this stuff is that I DON'T HAVE CHANGE FOR A $20. If you agree to pay $50, and stop at the ATM to get $60 on your way over, maybe consider stopping off at the Dollar Tree to buy some scented lotion or a votive candle for your wife. Or some Doritos for you. It's just around the corner! They'd be happy to make change for you. Otherwise, it just seems like you're trying to scam me out of a few bucks, and that makes me angry.
Thanks for taking these things into consideration.
Signed,
Craiglist seller of fine things