Bookstore Madness Update. →[More:]

At the store we have a security guard named Ola, from Nigeria, who's just about the friendliest, most laid-back man you'll ever meet. Which is why I was surprised yesterday when I heard shouting from the bag check area where he was posted. A large angry woman was shouting in his face as he looked on impassively. "You're lucky I'm a peaceful woman" she bellowed loud enough for people in New Jersey to hear "Otherwise I'd reach over and strangle you!" Yeah, sounds real peaceful to me, lady.

Also, we have a regular seller we refer to as 'loco viejo,' a tiny, frail, toothless extremely loopy old Latino man, who keeps returning almost every day, although he almost never makes more than a few bucks and he babbles semi-coherently almost constantly in Spanglish hybrid of his own creation. Once we told him his total "Ten bucks," and he answered "Joo got it, Toyota." I think he learned English from TV. ANYWAY, today he said to me and my partner "Joo buy wee-man in dis country?" "What??" My wife, she 73, her eye no work so much, but she fock you good,' and then thrust his hips a few times. I'll pass, but it's the thought that counts.

Also, yesterday was my work partner Eric's 21st birthday and some of the staff is taking him out for his inaugural (legal) booze-up. He was begging me to come with him, but I told him I'd take a rain check, since pips is cooking tonight and I didn't feel like playing Junior Prom Chaperone to the early 20's co-workers who were joining him. Besides tommorrow we have to visit pips' half-brother the doctor's 70th birthday party and I don't think could handle that much excitement back-to-back.