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THE JOB SEARCH/INTERVIEW PROCESS IS STRESSFUL AS HELL. I HAVE A PHONE SCREEN IN AN HOUR AND I'M COMING DOWN WITH SOME SORT OF FLU AND AM AFRAID THAT I'LL JUST START BABBLING NONSENSE ON THE PHONE. I'M HAPPY THAT MY RESUME IS GETTING ATTENTION AND THAT I'M GETTING INTERVIEWS BUT THE STRESS IS MAKING ME GRIND MY TEETH.
I'm too tired to yell. The boy...you guys...this boy. He's constantly trying to kill himself and possibly the rest of us. He can escape from his high chair, his car seat, his play yard. He cannot be contained. He gnaws electrical cords, stacks objects to get things that are out of reach and destroys everything in his path. I have a hundred small heart attacks a day. I've had every stress-related ailment possible in the past few months. Cold sores. Canker sores. IBS. My shoulders are so tense I look like I have no neck and I'm pretty sure my hair is falling out. How the hell am I going to get my house clean for the shower I'm hosting on Saturday? I take my eyes off him for a few seconds to grab the laundry and he's dumped a cup of coffee in the middle of the rug. But if I take him in the laundry room with me, he tries to drink the bleach. You guys..this boy...you guys. Help.
I'VE BEEN HUNGRY ALL DAY AND HAVE BEEN EATING NONSTOP AND THERE'S NO REASON I SHOULD BE HUNGRY! AND I WANT TEXAS PETE FOR MY FRIES AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN THIS MESS OF AN OFFICE! IT'S RAINING OUT AND SO MY OFFICE IS DARK BUT THE OVERHEAD LIGHTS GIVE ME A HEADACHE! OK I FOUND THE TEXAS PETE BUT THE FRIES ARE COLD AND I'M GOING TO EAT THEM ANYWAY BECAUSE I AM SO DARNED HUNGRY!
Also, did I mention that he has a virus that has caused him to have explosive diarrhea? For a week? The same virus his sister had last week? Did I mention that? The non-stop pooping? Did I? You guys?
Bwah ha ha ha ha, jrossi. You think it's bad now? YOU THINK IT'S BAD NOW? YOU WAIT 16 YEARS AND THAT BOY WILL TEACH YOU THE MEANING OF TERROR!! /mgl knows whereof she speaks, having had a baby just. like. that. Once. Long ago when the world was still so new and all before she knew that climbing out of the crib in the middle of the night to go downstairs and try as hard as possible to lock himself in the refrigerator was not as scary as hearing him come riding up with a whole bunch of loutish teenagers on scooters and dirtbikes who then hook up about 12 speakers to an old stereo and consider that they have now become masters of the mix while they're simultaneously playing two different kinds of video games and wrestling and having high volume conversations that prove that Beavis and Butthead was a documentary ALL IN YOUR BASEMENT.
IN MY IMPATIENCE AWAITING THE ARRIVAL OF MY NEW READING GLASSES, WE CHECKED OUT THE SELECTION AT WHOLE FOODS LAST NIGHT & I GOT A PAIR. THEY MADE ME WONDER HOW LONG I'VE BEEN BLIND, AND WHETHER I HAVE HAD A SUBSTANTIAL MOUSTACHE I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT.
I fail at yelling...can I sigh and moan in discontent and boredom instead? I've so little work to do, but the hour's worth of stuff I could be doing just sits and stares at me...I'd be more productive unemployed, where at least my house would be clean and I could get my FAFSA finished before I meet my adviser this Saturday...I've resorted to doing other people's work to look busy so I won't get canned before my braces are off...for anyone who's wondering, yes the commercial construction industry is slowing down...
MY NEW CELL PHONE IS DEFECTIVE, THE BACK COVER WON'T STAY ON, I TOOK IT BACK TO THE STORE BUT ALL THE OTHER PHONES IN THAT STORE AND A STORE NEARBY HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM, SO I CAN EITHER "WAIT FOR THEIR NEW BATCH TO COME IN NEXT WEEK TO SEE IF THE NEW ONES ARE ANY BETTER" OR GET A DIFFERENT PHONE, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS PHONE. I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN DRIVE BACK TO THE STORE A MILLION TIMES WHEN PARKING THERE IS SUCH A PAIN. HOW ABOUT QUALITY CONTROL, MOTOROLA?! THANK GOODNESS I ONLY HAVE TO DO THIS ONCE EVERY 4 YEARS
MY FLASH TEACHER KEEPS PILING ON HOMEWORK! IT'S UP TO FOUR THINGS I HAVE TO DO NOW. ALSO, I AM BEHIND ON MY NANOWRIMO NOVEL, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO CATCH UP. TIME FOR A LAST-CHANCE POWER WRITE SESSION.
ALSO, MY PROBLEMS SEEM TRIVIAL IN LIGHT OF OTHER'S SITUATIONS, DISREGARD THIS POST.
WAIT! NOW I'VE GOT IT! THE YELLING ARISES! MY WEBSITE IS DEAD! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE DATABASE DOES NOT EXIST, IT'S RIGHT THERE IN MY HOSTING PANEL! ALL I DID WAS MOVE SOME FILES, AND I HAVE TO REINSTALL THE SOFTWARE!? I JUST WANTED THOSE STUPID SHADOWS ON THE TEMPLATE TO GO AWAY! NOW MY WHOLE CUSTOMER LIST IS GONE! GAH!!!!11
GAAAAAH!! GO DO YOUR OBSCURE CALCULUS SHIT ON SOMEONE ELSE'S WHITEBOARD! SERIOUSLY, I JUST HAD TO GO WIKIPEDIA THIS THING AND NOW I AM CONCERNED THAT MY HEAD IS GOING TO ASPLODE!!
I SMACKED MYSELF IN THE FACE WITH THE PLUG FOR MY LAPTOP AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE I CUT MYSELF SHAVING MY MOUSTACHE I DON'T HAVE NOW THAT I CAN ACTUALLY SEE. I AM NOT A BOY!
HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS HATE MY BOSS
MY TRAIN WAS HALF AN HOUR LATE TODAY, AND NOW I'M MORE OR LESS ALONE IN THE OFFICE FOR THE SECOND DAY IN THE ROW, AS THE OTHER PEOPLE HERE DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE AND ARE DOING SUPER SPECIFIC TASKS THAT DON'T RELATE TO MY WORK.
AND I KEEP MAKING COMMENTS THAT READ DIFFERENTLY TO HOW I INTEND, AND THEN GO BACK TO TRY TO CORRECT THAT, AND MAKE MATTERS WORSE. IT'S SILLY AND EMBARRASSING. GAH.
IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A 14 YO AGAIN. I DIDN'T LIKE BEING 14.
jonathanstrange, I dunno if my empathy makes you feel any better but my entire existence this past week has resembled some bizarre sucktastic mashup of 8th grade and Days Of Our Lives, and I just want it to stop already
lfr - I get that all the time too! Think it's time to bring out the fort again. It's pouring with rain here, so I think that a fort sounds like the only way to go. Who's with me?
I don't have energy to shout, but last Friday's trip to the ER means that I'm now allergic to 85% of antibiotics and am going to die of a massive infection that they won't be able to treat. I'm feeling terribly mortal right now.
I should clarify that I'm not going to die, like, RIGHT NOW. There is no massive infection eating my innards. Just, you know, at some nebulous point in the future.
I PAID GOOD MONEY TO FLY MY BOYFRIEND OUT HERE FOR THE WEEKEND, AND NOW WE'RE SPENDING THE WHOLE NIGHT FRIDAY, AND MOST OF SATURDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT WITH HIS FRIENDS. I LIKE HIS FRIENDS, BUT I WANT SOME TIME TO OURSELVES TO DISCUSS THE FUTURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP, AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SQUEEZE IT IN BETWEEN BREAKFAST AND TIME WITH HIS BUDDIES.
Eh, jonathonstrange and fuzzbean, the doctors took my eye and it's not so bad. Better being a cyclops than being dead, in my book!
But AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH PEOPLE ARE FUCKWITS SOMETIMES AND WHY IS IT ALWAYS UP TO ME TO MAKE NICE AND BE CONCILIATORY AND SMOOTH IT ALL OVER AND AND FUCK EM ALL AND AAAAGGGGHHH!!
I HAVE A JOB OFFER AND NOW I HAVE TO MOVE TO HOUSTON LIKE RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS. AND BUY A CAR. I WON'T HAVE MONEY FOR A CAR UNTIL AFTER FIRST PAYCHECK.
HOUSTON TRAFFIC FREAKED ME THE HELL OUT. WHAT IS THIS FEEDER ROAD MESS?
Jrossi, your first child was a girl wasn't she? You poor thing...you had no idea what you were in for. (spoken like a mom of two boys, now three with the stepson). *puts The Boy in a padded room with Nerf toys and hands a bottle of wine to jrossi*
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN IN THE SUPERMARKET. TURKEY TIME. IT'S JUST A TURKEY, PEOPLE!!!! A LADY CALLED AND WANTED A 24LB FREE TURKEY (you spend $300.00 in a month and get a free turkey, turkey breast, or .99 cents a pound off any other turkey) BUT THE BIGGEST FREE TURKEYS WE HAVE ARE ONLY 20 LBS RIGHT NOW, AND I DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL GET BIGGER ONES. People, you've got to realize that our turkey orders are placed nearly a year in advance, right after last Thanksgiving, so we'll get whatever our warehouse sends us). BUT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL 24 LB TURKEY OF ANOTHER KIND; SHE'LL ONLY HAVE TO PAY .10 CENTS A POUND FOR IT (THE DIFFERENCE OF THE FREE COUPON AND THE COST OF THIS BRAND). TWO DOLLARS AND 4O CENTS IS ALL SHE'D PAY FOR A 24 LB BIRD. AND SHE WANTS TO THINK ABOUT IT. THINK ABOUT IT? OH, PUT IT ASIDE FOR ME, SHE SAYS, BUT KEEP YOUR EYE OUT FOR A 24 LB FREE ONE FOR ME. YEAH, I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO, LADY, THAN CATER TO YOU AND THE 200 OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE SPECIFIC TURKEY NEEDS. YEEEESH.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
