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13 October 2008

How to treat your new temp (the Throwaway Temp syndrome) [More:]1. Even though you're not ready for the temp, she better be ready for you.

Example: I know she's supposed to be excellent at what she does, but I don't believe it even though she was TESTED at the temp agency. Since there's nothing for her to do yet anyway, let's have her copy this huge crumpled file.

(Copier keeps jamming, it takes temp 3 times longer than it should)

FIRE THE TEMP!!!

2. Boss: Where's the temp?

Subordinate: She's in the bathroom.

Boss: In the BATHROOM?! On her first DAY?!!

FIRE THE TEMP!!!

3. Temp is sitting there with nothing to do, so she picks up the phone to cancel an important appointment that she has to cancel because of this unexpected temp job:

FIRE THE TEMP!!!

4. Neglect to properly explain phone quirks to the temp, so she drops a couple of calls

FIRE THE TEMP!!!

5. Person who temps for a living happens to get a cold or call in sick or late the first week. Think about it. How would you like to ALWAYS be on probation and NEVER be allowed to get sick???

FIRE THE TEMP!!!

6. Assure the temp you want her for several weeks, knowing perfectly well that that's only in the worst-case scenario.

COMPLETELY SCREW UP YOUR TEMP'S CREDIT AND MAKE HER BORROW FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!

Back when I was a fresh, post-collegiate sprog, I started temping between my band's tours as a way to keep some cash flow moving, and I have never made a worse career move in my life. It took a few years to undo the miserable day-job spiral into which that sent me (not to mention the self-esteem hit implied in this list). Any time my friends mention temping as a solution to their perceived woes, I feel like tackling them as if they've just walked into traffic. I don't really believe in "evil" as a human concept, but temping is about as close as I get.
posted by mykescipark 13 October | 09:23
The worst temping assignment I ever had was answering phones *at* the temp agency. I had worked in other assignments that, while not intellectually challenging, were generally fine; the people were nice and once they saw that I was reasonably together and efficient, they just left me alone for the most part.

At the agency, however, the other (permanent) employees would freak out if I or the other temp turned off our computers even 30 seconds before 5pm, freaked out if we went to the bathroom, freaked out if we asked questions... they were horrible, horrible people to work for.

Which makes me believe that it's not always the companies hiring temps that are setting up the weird expectations, but the temp companies themselves.
posted by occhiblu 13 October | 09:49
So how much does being the office scapegoat pay these days?
posted by ethylene 13 October | 09:54
occhiblu's got it.

also: while serena's experience may be the norm for entry-level temps, you can make some decent cash and you get SERIOUS respect from the temp agency once you've proven your worth and become a decent mid- to upper-level admin type. Working as a day-job phone rat is the seventh level of hell, I will grant you that. However once you've proven your worth in the temp trenches, they treat you like gold, and they actually pay you a living wage (let's just ignore the fact about healthcare for a mo, but I honestly think this is more a combo of our darling government's and the greedy insurance industry's fault, to be honest)

Annoying Chemist Guy was just last week telling me how some dozen years ago he came here fresh out of a 2-year, community college biology degree to work as a temp lab rat for Kelly Scientific, and these guys just kept finding other things for him to do. Well that, plus he was really fortunate to be in the right place at the right time, several times over. He's now a Senior Scientist (which is technically a Ph.D. level position) and making the same salary as his degreed collegues.

Granted there's an unusual corporate culture here called "Hire People Who Actually Get Shit Done and Screw The Nitpicky Details" which I doubt exists in even 10% of the workforce these days, but still.

temping can be soul-sucking, but as a career temp, there are definitely some advantages, and if you're in the right place at the right time, with the right company you will get some stellar opportunities. I would never even have gotten my foot in the door at the Fortune 50 companies I've worked at (much less gotten the serious resume-boosting experiences I've had on project stints) had I not been a temp for the past fifteen years. Maybe that's merely a highly inefficient (but cheap?) manner of "paying for a degree", I dunno.
posted by lonefrontranger 13 October | 10:26
lfr, I concede that in my case, the field in which I work (public radio, creative-side) had pretty much zero to do with the traditional temping world, so any amount of time I spent there was more or less counter-productive. YMMV for those of you in more traditional fields. (HappyEndingFilter: I now work for NPR.)
posted by mykescipark 13 October | 10:46
My mother is an on-again-off-again/career temp. But like LFR says, she's got a reputation for her impeccable "mid- to upper-level admin type" skills. Even Mom, Wonder Temp has gotten fucked over by a company or two - like the time she was promised a temp-to-hire, with a pay raise at the date of hire. She was hired, she got a pay raise, Lazy Boss told her to cut her own checks, then was accused of embezzeling by Lazy Boss and fired for-cause. Thankfully, her Temp agency backed her and now she's got a better job.
posted by muddgirl 13 October | 12:03
When I temped I was grateful for the oportunity to find out which companies I DIDN'T ever want to work for.

For instance, though temping there was entertaining in a demented sort of way, City of Berkeley stands out head and shoulders above all other assignments for places to never ever accept a permanent job.
posted by small_ruminant 13 October | 12:17
When I temped I was grateful for the oportunity to find out which companies I DIDN'T ever want to work for.

a-frickin-men. That would be CU Boulder for me.

muddgirl, I've had similar experiences, tho thankfully not to that degree.

I have formed my own conclusion that certain industry sectors of small business (particularly family-run small businesses in said sectors) tend to cultivate their own particular subtle brand of evil that's difficult to quantify and also hard to suss out on a short-term basis. I really don't want to work for a tech startup ever again, either.

This is just me, though, and the above conclusions are likely due to my low tolerance for kowtowing, marketing department circuses and interpersonal bullshit/drama.

Fortunately, at CurrentJob, the few times I've lost my shit and run my Big Fat Yapper, then subsequently cringed (convinced I'd get smacked down for insubordination, yea buddy it's happened before) they merely said "oh hey, great solution, thanks for taking the initiative on that".

IME, scientific/engineering/mfg types tend to be considerably more pragmatic and thicker-skinned than your usual corporate drones, tho.
posted by lonefrontranger 13 October | 12:55
How to treat your new temp

First off, don't refer to her as "the temp." She is a real person and has real feelings, and she most likely has real skills as well.

Sorry, this really chafes me. At my last temp job, I was treated like an idiot. My first day there, one woman showed me how to use the stapler.

A week or so later, the woman I was nominally working for referred to me as "the temp" in my presence. As in, "Hey, please show the temp how to do this." I have a name, regardless of where my paycheck comes from.

People don't hire on at temp agencies because they're stupid. They do it because they need work. You probably know this, but work is really hard to find right now.

Everyone has a story. Maybe one of the first steps to a positive relationship is learning what her story is.
posted by mudpuppie 13 October | 14:55
mudpuppie, I think serena15221 is "the temp" in her post.
posted by muddgirl 13 October | 15:15
Oops, I realize that I sounded like I was addressing Serena -- I meant to address the more general workforce. Sorry for the way that read.
posted by mudpuppie 13 October | 15:17
My only temping experiences were on the whole positive--looks like I was inordinately lucky.

Both times I got long-term placements at the university where I did my graduate work. One was a summer position as the assistant to the chair of the sociology department. That was the "eh" one. The chair wasn't in town 90% of the time, and the 10% of the time that he was, I had about 30 minutes of work to do from him. As this was pre wide-spread use of the internet, I spent a ton of time making things up to do.

The second time was much better. Again, it was a long-term position, this time at an agency that worked on public health issues in developing countries. I worked in the library, which gave me a lot of opportunity to learn about international reproductive health issues. I ended up segueing that position into my current career.

But yeah, I can't imagine working in a situation where people are as condescending and disrespectful as it sounds like they can be. Ouch.
posted by Stewriffic 13 October | 15:34
"Temp! Thief! Temp Thief!"
You can skip to the last minute for it.

So, yeah, check your agency. If it's very high turn over with no placement positions, maybe there's a better one.

i know someone who worked with Martha Stewart for a day, pre-jail. You didn't really want to be in that position. Or dealing with a coked out Emeril.
i also know people who've been placed in city positions they just clicked with, removed from anything else they'd done.

It kinda sucks for everyone, the temp situation, unless it works out just right, but then you end up not being a temp.
Why stick around shouty short tempered places, anyway.
posted by ethylene 13 October | 15:41
Temped for quite a while during a recession.
1st day in new temp assignment: Groan, the brain-dead bimbo from Kelly is here. Somebody show her which end of the phone to use.
2nd day in new temp assignment: Look, the temp reorganized the supply cabinet and we can find stuff now.
3rd day in new temp assignment: So, hi, what's your background? Is that your child in that photo on the desk? You must love temping..
4th day in new temp assignment: Hey, the temp has a degree, and a brain, and a personality, and competence.
5th day in new temp assignment: A. I wish we had a permanent job for you, or B. Want a job?

Most of the time, I really didn't want the crappy job I was temping at, and eventually I got a job I liked because I had temped there in a different position.

The worst was when I took a temp job expected to last a month. I needed about 15 minutes of training to use their phone system, and made a phone directory for them since they didn't have one. I got a permanent job offer and cut short the month. They were incredibly pissy. Hey, it's a TEMP job. I'm disposable to you; guess what - your job is disposable to me.
posted by theora55 13 October | 16:23
I agree with the upthread statement about proving your worth in the temp trenches.

Today I started back for another round of contracting at my previous temporary gig (which lasted nearly two years straight), and was welcomed back as a conquering hero by everyone I'd ever worked with there.

My managers were more than ready to recommend me to my new supervisor, and are already looking downfield to keep me there long-term.

Of course, prior to this gig, I was making something like 15,000/yr. working as a shitheel for Uniforce!, and their ilk.

But once you break through into the upper reaches of tempdom, it can be very lucrative and very rewarding in certain ways.

Your mileage may vary.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 13 October | 17:22
I did temping stuff before library school and it makes working in a library seem like a cakewalk by comparison. Stuff didn't go too badly for me but I was once fired [or whatever it's called when your agency calls you and is like "pack your shit and go home now"] for having a nose ring even though 1. the temp agency knew I had a nose ring and I'd always said I'd take it out if the job required it 2. I was working at some horrible fishing company [the sort that send people to Alaska for terrible jobs that nearly kill them but may mean they take home a few thou at the end of a few months] and it seemed weird for them to be putting on airs.

still bitter,

tempgirl
posted by jessamyn 13 October | 17:25
jessamyn, that's called "fired" and it's happened to me as well for similarly o_O reasoning.

only much later did i ultimately discover via roundabout means that they were likely clearing the way for the boss' teenage daughter to take over my role (see upthread comment about the evil inherent in tech startups/small family-run businesses; this was an unholy combo of the 3). apparently in order to keep them from looking tremendously suspicious to the feds, they reposted the job, interviewed a crapload of folks and ultimately hired the daughter...
posted by lonefrontranger 13 October | 17:33
It's not just temps that get treated like that. Any business small enough that the owner of the company is directly supervising employees at the worker bee level is likely to be all kinds of hell to work at. Give me a government department or a faceless corporation any day.
posted by dg 14 October | 15:15
Motivation for acts of evil || My husband is quitting smoking

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