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01 October 2008

So, today at work, I'm outside having a cigarette, (yes I realize that sounds familiar, but keep reading). [More:] As I stood on the sidewalk, a caravan of black town cars, and official looking vehicles turns on to 12th street. All of a sudden the stop mid-turn and all these dudes in dark suits get out and start doing all these Green Hornet-type moves around the car and open the door. Out come two South Asian men dressed in what I can only describe as extremely chic-looking Nehru jackets. They escorted them inside. Turns out it was India's Minister of Finance and their Ambassador to the UN. The suited dudes (Secret Service obviously) hung out all over as the bigwigs browsed. Only later did it occur to me that as I worked during that period, I was usually holding a fucking boxcutter. I can just imagine one of the bodyguards speaking into hidden mic "Please be advised, the weird looking guy in the cap is armed. Beware of sudden moves." Sheesh.

Of course, we had the usual parade of homeless guys, semi-pro book dealers, attic-cleaning hausfraus and a couple I like to call Mr. & Mrs. Heroin who scour trash bins for books, answer every question with a droned "Uhhh what??" They could rent themselves out as a walking anti-drug ad.

One of the great things about this city is that you encounter that big a swath of humanity in a typical workday.
We were at In The Heights when the President of the Dominican Republic was there. I want to be powerful enough one day to have my own Secret Service detail.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 October | 19:02
I wanna hang out at jonmc's place of employment for a day. I love to people watch!
posted by redvixen 01 October | 19:10
I love to people watch!

Yes, but do you like to people smell? Some of my clients can be a little...ripe.
posted by jonmc 01 October | 19:14
NYC can be bizarrely entertaining with its odd combos.
posted by nickyskye 01 October | 19:43
On the morning of Pierre Trudeau's funeral in Montreal, I was walking by one of the fancier hotels on my way to McGill. There was a limo waiting outside, and a bunch of police motorcycles with crests on their windshields. I stop and get a smoke out of my pack. As I'm fiddling around in my pocket for my lighter, I noticed two things.

Thing the First: There's a swarthy dude in a uniform, holding a Big Gun, giving me a serious stink-eye.

Thing the Second: Fidel Castro has just come out of the hotel doors.

Swarthy dude was not amused when I wiggled my lighter and put on my best "I'm not an assassin, honest!" smile.
posted by CKmtl 01 October | 19:57
Sarah Palin's giant motorcade drove past me down here the other day. There were police, a big black limo, and about 15 huge white empty SUVs with "Palin Staff" signs taped in the front window. I don't know if they were recruiting or what.
posted by StickyCarpet 02 October | 08:30
"Palin Staff" sounds like something you would acquire by defeating an arcane elvish mage, or something. Beware! Beware! He wields a Palin Staff!
posted by Wolfdog 02 October | 08:34
No, Wolfdog, Palin Staff is how she spells the infection that has taken over her brain.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 02 October | 10:39
The Palin Staff: too lightweight to use as a cudgel, too dull to use as a spear, too crooked to use as a walking stick. Great for twirling.
posted by Atom Eyes 02 October | 10:44
posted by taz 02 October | 10:56
Call it a quarter-of-a-million staff.
posted by Wolfdog 02 October | 11:09
Staff of Palin
Appears initially to be a Staff of Charming. The user believes the item is what it appears to be, yet it actually has no magical power other than to deceive. The user is mentally fooled into thinking the item is functioning and cannot be convinced otherwise without the help of a remove idiocy spell.
posted by Meatbomb 02 October | 13:11
I was at a mandatory REBNY ethics course session on Park and 51st (yes, real estate brokers and salespeople who are new board members have to take a mandatory ethics course) near the beginning of General Assembly week and as I was leaving around noon, there were a whole lot of bored NYPD cops smoking near a set of barricades. One of them, a guy who normally patrols in Brooklyn, said that he loves it when the bigwigs come to town because they get time and a half for standing around and randomly closing streets. Like, he and his other cop buddies were joking about closing down the street right while I was standing there having a smoke, when nothing was going on at all!

At least he didn't fine me for littering when I moved to toss my cigarette butt down.
posted by TrishaLynn 02 October | 15:06
Meatbomb is funny.
posted by theora55 02 October | 15:43
yes I realize that sounds familiar, but keep reading

When you say that, it makes me think: book title.
posted by Eideteker 03 October | 01:46
shaving foam kitteh || I keep getting hijacked to this page