What do the following objects have in common? A 3-pak of Titleist golf balls, a pack of 'pine-scented'* stationery, a 3-hole punch, a really small Crown Of Thorns**, a big-ass pencil eraser***, and an unopened Cracker Jack prize****?→[More:]

They were all inside different boxes of books that were left at the store for me and my colleagues to sort through. It's a weird world.

*That's what it said. We couldn't smell it through the shrink wrap, but i'll take their word for it. Somebody must've wanted to send some woodsy mail.

**Yeah, like Jesus's. We took turns trying it on. Whoever it was meant for had a really small head. Maybe it was for an all-midget Easter Pageant.

***like this one but it had to be about a foot long and weigh half a pound. This thing could've erased enough lead to fill a machine gun.

****a couple of stickers, one of a flower, the other a rocket ship. Safety regulations have made Cracker Jack a lot lamer.

When I got home, my landlords son was sitting on the stoop smoking a cigar. he last saw me yesterday when I was bringing in laundry. he told me that he had found one of my socks abnd that it wwas on the stairs. I looked. It was a white ankle sock which neither me nor pips wear. I told him to keep it and start a puppet show.

Here's to Found Object Day.