*raises hand*

If I get stuck in the middle like this (and as a contractor it's sadly more common than one would hope) I usually try to determine which path is going to ultimately cause more upheaval and ire on the part of management, then work to avoid it.

But then I'm generally temping which means my friendships with my colleagues are ephemeral at best, so take that with a grain of salt.

At this very moment, I am involved with our slippery, dishonest architect, who, in every meeting he and I are in, manages to shove his work off on me.

The upside is that the work gets done well.

I am tempted to call him, publicly, on this, but I also have to work down the hall from him.

So I talk behind his back. Yes, not very honorable, but I also have found that lots of other people have the same opinion of him.

Try and talk your friend around. If that doesn't work, do what you think is the right thing - it will work out better in the long run. This sort of thing happens quite a bit here - friends should have enough respect for you not to take your being on opposite sides as having any impact on your friendship.

I'm starting to learn, after years of being the very archetype of the nice guy, that the AUTHENTIC "asshole" is actually far more valuable and respected in the long run. I put "asshole" in quotes because this person isn't bullying or trying to make anyone feel bad -- she or he is just saying what she or he really thinks, in a social environment where doing so is unfortunately kind of shocking.

Of course, many real assholes and bullies say this is exactly what they're doing in order to rationalize abusive behavior. I have no idea how one can ultimately, objectively tell the difference between the two, but I do feel that it's pretty fruitless to try to make up for the behavior of such bullies by diminishing one's own voice.

I agree - where I work, the management value straight talking and honest expression of opinions a great deal and this has led to people feeling comfortable in voicing their opinions, knowing that others will not think less of them because they hold an unpopular point of view. "Pocket pissing", however, will get you nowhere around here, which makes me very happy.