MetaChat - The distance between men's nipples is eleven inches.

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

18 August 2008

The distance between men's nipples is eleven inches. →[More:]
This, apparently, is a fact, according to something I heard on the radio today. Is it true? Measure up, guys, peak to peak as it were.

I'm wondering how the eleven inches takes account of such things as well-developed pecs, or someone who's particularly weedy. As we have a varied cross-section of the male population in this little community, let's see how accurate this factoid is.

Disclaimer: All nipple-measuring is undertaken at your own risk. Make sure you have bail money first before doing it in public or engaging the services of a third party to assist you.

post by: essexjan at: 11:25 | 31 comments

There's no way I'm going to measure the distance between my nipples at work.

posted by Hellbient 18 August | 11:37

Okay, 10 inches.

posted by Hellbient 18 August | 11:38

Either this so-called fact is inaccurate or I'm not a man.

posted by Daniel Charms 18 August | 11:38

Yours came out at 10 inches, Hellbient, because you were hunched over trying surreptitiously to measure the space between your tits with a ruler without anybody seeing.

posted by essexjan 18 August | 11:46

Weedy?

posted by chewatadistance 18 August | 12:00

Puny, chewy.

posted by essexjan 18 August | 12:05

Believe me, EJ, if I had tits, I'd have better things to do than measure them.

In fact, a friend of mine, argues that "the Internet is what you do until you get tits."

posted by Hellbient 18 August | 12:10

Less than 10 inches. Clearly, I'm not man enough.

posted by Daniel Charms 18 August | 12:13

97 inches.

Where's my Superman cape?

posted by mdonley 18 August | 12:38

10" on the, um, nose.

posted by danostuporstar 18 August | 12:38

Jeez, you all are puny-ass dudes aren't ya? Except mdonley, of course, who is quite obviously a god among men. Or a liar.

posted by essexjan 18 August | 12:47

12 inches. Barrel-chested, I guess.

posted by Eideteker 18 August | 12:52

To be fair, my colon is well over a rod.

posted by danostuporstar 18 August | 12:58

9". Admit it. You made this shit up so we'd post measurements.

posted by middleclasstool 18 August | 13:09

I did not. It was on Radio 2 this afternoon. Everyone in the studio (the men anyway) all measured up and people were phoning in their measurements too. All across the UK work stopped so men's nipple distances could be calibrated for the nation.

posted by essexjan 18 August | 13:14

Only about 8 1/2 here. But I have a notoriously scrawny chest.

posted by jonmc 18 August | 13:25

12 inches here.

Maybe the news was that "a man's nipples are eleven inches apart", meaning that a single man, this guy right here, NOT every man?

Remember that great old SNL fake news bit? "Here in NYC, a man is mugged every 45 seconds. Today, we talk to that man".

posted by richat 18 August | 13:40

Just confirming that while being a god among men is usually really great, I have to walk sideways through doors and be careful that I don't knock anyone over. It's hard to tie my shoes.

posted by mdonley 18 August | 13:41

From this day on, I will refer to 11 inches as a "nipplefoot".

posted by Hellbient 18 August | 14:48

11" nipple to nipple.

So is everyone else's the same length as their ... you know what.

posted by terrapin 18 August | 15:12

Measured at work!

10"

Wait... what's this about distance between nipples?

posted by SpiffyRob 18 August | 15:17

So is everyone else's the same length as their ... you know what.

Wow. I wasn't expecting anyone to make a comment like that.

posted by essexjan 18 August | 15:29

The distance between men's nipples is eleven inches.

This is absurd. Surely it depends on how far apart the men are standing.

posted by chrismear 18 August | 15:49

Okay, so if I touch THIS nipple with one finger and THIS nipple with the other ... uh ... what was the question?

posted by stilicho 18 August | 16:25

Christ, no wonder I can't get a fucking shirt that fits.

posted by Wolfdog 18 August | 16:40

Well, you know what they say about a man with a large nipple spread...

posted by Specklet 18 August | 16:45

he needs a man-bra?

posted by jonmc 18 August | 18:47

This is absurd. Surely it depends on how far apart the men are standing.

*snort*

posted by gomichild 18 August | 19:12

So I just measured again after the gym and, guess what everybody, I've lost half an inches from my titline!

posted by danostuporstar 18 August | 19:38

I'm resting a laptop computer that is 12.8 inches wide on my chest as I type this and when I rest one end on one nipple, the other is easily an inch past the other end. So this lard-bucket who needs a man-bra is easily 14 inches (and too lazy to measure any other way).

But remember, size doesn't really matter.

posted by wendell 18 August | 23:21

This is absurd. Surely it depends on how far apart the men are standing.
Damnit, you stole my comment before I made it!

posted by dg 19 August | 17:09

← The Pop vs. Soda vs. Coke Map of the USA || In this AskMe about needing checks, →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN