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18 August 2008

I was just flirted with by an 81-year old woman! [More:] She couched it an anti-smoking advisory, but all the arm and leg grabbing told me that she was thinking something else. She told me that cigarettes were polluting my 'bee-yoot-ee-full* body.' (I know her age because she said that she was 81 and had never smoked.) FWIW, she didn't look a day over 67. The other bar patrons were chuckling as if she'd done this before. I don't usually mind appealing to older women, but this is ridiculous.

*I'm not usually one to judge people by their accents or speech patterns but for some reason 'bee-yoot-ee-ful' sets me on edge.
i thought you were quitted!!
posted by By the Grace of God 18 August | 17:45
That ship sailed awhile ago.
posted by jonmc 18 August | 17:54
I open the doors to our cardiac rehab facility in the morning. Usually I am there 15 minutes early and let the people in when I get there. These elderly folk get up early in the morning and sit in their cars in the parking lot long before opening time. They are chomping at the bit when I arrive and let them in out of the kindness of my heart.

I was getting my area situated to start the day and quickly swiped my pants with a lint roller. This 75+ year-old perverted guy says, "I can do that for you." This is the same guy that has suggested I have sex with him, go to his condo to see his new convention oven, and get inside his Buick ("it's really nice", "leather interior", "It's a V8", "It has three portholes"). Get on the treadmill, dude. Go away.
posted by LoriFLA 18 August | 18:04
convention oven,

that's the one where you cook Shriners, right?

(to tell the truth, this whole cougar magnet thing is flattering, but just once, couldn't it be a woman my own age?)
posted by jonmc 18 August | 18:18
Hee ha, jonmc.

I cannot spell or express a coherent thought today.

I'm sure there are plenty of people, your age, flirting with you but you don't realize it. They're more discreet than arm grabbers.
posted by LoriFLA 18 August | 18:33
Early one morning I was helping an elderly customer at the seafood counter. Another elderly gentleman, a morning regular, stopped, looked a Man 1 and said "Don't you be giving my girl a hard time. I'm watching you." Man 1 grinned and said "Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?" And they went on playfully sparring for some time about my supposed affections. It was cute.
posted by redvixen 18 August | 18:52
I regularly flirt with a 90-year-old woman who's a great-great-grandmother. If anything were to happen to to Mrs. Doohickie, I'd probably ask her out. Seriously.
posted by Doohickie 18 August | 20:00
posted by chewatadistance 19 August | 06:52
My wife used to get home before me most days, and I wanted her to have flowers when she walked in the door on Valentines Day. So at lunch, I walked down to the market, got her two bunches of tulips, and walked home.

On the way, there was a little old lady coming out of her house, who called out, “Are those for me?” I, of course, turned on my heel, walked briskly back to her, whipped out one of the tulips, presented it to her, and said, “Happy Valentines Day!”

As I walked away, she called out "Be sure to tell your wife what you did. You should get credit for this!"
posted by mrmoonpie 19 August | 09:34
That's a great story, mrmoonpie.
posted by Atom Eyes 19 August | 10:35
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by Pips 19 August | 12:22
.me breaks up with .yu: || My county is the most idiotic.