i thought you were quitted!!

That ship sailed awhile ago.

I open the doors to our cardiac rehab facility in the morning. Usually I am there 15 minutes early and let the people in when I get there. These elderly folk get up early in the morning and sit in their cars in the parking lot long before opening time. They are chomping at the bit when I arrive and let them in out of the kindness of my heart.

I was getting my area situated to start the day and quickly swiped my pants with a lint roller. This 75+ year-old perverted guy says, "I can do that for you." This is the same guy that has suggested I have sex with him, go to his condo to see his new convention oven, and get inside his Buick ("it's really nice", "leather interior", "It's a V8", "It has three portholes"). Get on the treadmill, dude. Go away.

convention oven,

that's the one where you cook Shriners, right?

(to tell the truth, this whole cougar magnet thing is flattering, but just once, couldn't it be a woman my own age?)

Hee ha, jonmc.

I cannot spell or express a coherent thought today.

I'm sure there are plenty of people, your age, flirting with you but you don't realize it. They're more discreet than arm grabbers.

Early one morning I was helping an elderly customer at the seafood counter. Another elderly gentleman, a morning regular, stopped, looked a Man 1 and said "Don't you be giving my girl a hard time. I'm watching you." Man 1 grinned and said "Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?" And they went on playfully sparring for some time about my supposed affections. It was cute.

I regularly flirt with a 90-year-old woman who's a great-great-grandmother. If anything were to happen to to Mrs. Doohickie, I'd probably ask her out. Seriously.

:)

My wife used to get home before me most days, and I wanted her to have flowers when she walked in the door on Valentines Day. So at lunch, I walked down to the market, got her two bunches of tulips, and walked home.

On the way, there was a little old lady coming out of her house, who called out, “Are those for me?” I, of course, turned on my heel, walked briskly back to her, whipped out one of the tulips, presented it to her, and said, “Happy Valentines Day!”

As I walked away, she called out "Be sure to tell your wife what you did. You should get credit for this!"

That's a great story, mrmoonpie.

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