As with all things, you will develop a coping mechanism.

Stay strong, desjardins. Chin up.

Of course you are scared and that's ok and sensible. (hugs) At least you are now confronting a known fear. After you finish scaring yourself with Google, the reslilient one will kick back in and make a plan.

You don't come of as "feel sorry for me" at all, but I do feel for you and your situation.

At least you know what it is, which is huge.
You may want to find a support group to get a better idea of the situation.
The googling can be almost worse than people who want to trade medical war stories.

Google can be your friend too. I've found lots of help and support through googling various health things I've had, particularly psoriasis, which I've had since I was a child.

Take good care, desjardins.

seconding support groups- they've been awesome for my friends.

(If nothing else, they let you indulge in black humor about your condition that will appall your friends and family.)

Also- you will get a heads up on the newest therapies- often before your MD does.

when i was 26, i developed alopecia in a small area in the back of my head. basically i was stressed out to such a point that my own body was attacking itself.

you couldn't even see it, it was a small bald spot the size of a dime on the back of my head and clearly other long hair covered it. i had to go to the doctor twice a month and get about 20 steroid shots into my head all over to stimulate hair growth.

after diagnosis, i spent the whole next week looking up alopecia and scarring myself into hysterical sobs over the fear that i would soon be losing all my hair and THERE WAS NO CURE... i'm sure it's traumatic for men, but as a 26 year old woman, i was sure that my life was pretty much over as a dating female simply because i was losing my hair.

i scarred myself so much it did indeed get a tiny bit worse, but no one by me would have thought so.

it went away completely two months later but i still counted the hairs in my sink and shower for another year after that, paranoid it would return.

ten years later i realize that the freaking over it was much worse - and made it worse - than the little spot i had developed. i had caused my problem to be worse by the stress of stressing it, instead of just trying to relax, take care of myself and go with the flow.

:) kisses and sending you a high-five to go with the flow.

*scaring - damn fast type.

OK, I've stopped googling and I'm going to work on addressing wedding invitations if I can get off this damned computer.

Good for you. I get seriously OCD about Googling things sometimes, especially health concerns. It's bizarrely compelling.

Side note: A friend of mine actually had her husband set up a timer that shuts her computer down after she's been online more than 90 minutes. She was chatting and browsing instead of eating and sleeping.

Worse, I completely understand her.

DO NOT GOOGLE, EXCEPT TO FIND A FORUM FOR PEOPLE WITH YOUR CONDITION!

My family learned this the hard way. My mom was diagnosed two years ago with a type of pulmonary disease that affects two people out of a million. The googling -- it convinced us all that she was going to die within months.

There's a lot of hysterical and inaccurate information on websites. Do not read them. They do not help.

Find an online support group. You'll learn the ups and downs and ins and outs from other people who share your disease. It won't all be good news, but a lot of it will. And you'll find out that you're a lot better off than a lot of others, which is invaluable. It will give you a much, much more realistic base of information.

Good luck. Stay healthy.

Googling health issues bad. I've scared myself many times over.

Googling health issues bad. I've scared myself many times over.

Me, too. I know it's hard to resist though.

desjardins, I feel for you. Try to stay positive. Wishes for good health and happiness.

I also agree with support groups. You'll find people who know exactly what you're feeling, and being able to share your feelings make your condition less scary. That said, give yourself a hug and a break from Google, and get started on those wedding invitations!!!

forget the wedding invites, hee, start the thank you notes! i still have three damn notes more than a month later... just saying. ;)