My style is a little something called "way too clever for my own good." I was largely oblivious to this until it was pointed out to me in the wild by a friend. I was doing some volunteer work on campus, and being randy college students, we all started talking about various things we found attractive in people. Well, there was one chickadee who I just started talking about. I remarked on her sort of quiet dignity, almost regal bearing. I then began likening her to a classical portrait of a courtly lady, perhaps even a queen. Don't ask me how, but I was totally freeforming it; it was almost like spontaneous beat poetry. But there's a reason I'm not a beat poet; and it's called "way too clever for my own good." Because I then did my lateral jump thing and hopped associations. Before I knew what I was saying, the phrase "Hapsburg lip" escaped from my mouth and there was no way to get it back. My roommate held that one over me for awhile. "Dude, you HAD her. You weren't even interested in her" (which was true, she was just a convenient target; not someone I had any kind of crush on) "and she was practically ready to eat out of your hand. Then you blew it." So, yeah. The only reason I'm with my current girlfriend has to do with a combination of her being very forgiving/understanding, and me learning to just shut the hell up and let the lady do the work.
Otherwise, my flirt style can be likened to Marco's in Sealab. There's a scene where he's flirting with Black Debbie, and she's basically asking him point blank to get into her quarters (for hanky-panky). Marco replies: "Oh, I'm gonna get in there, if you know what I mean." This goes on for several more innuendi until she finally gets frustrated and gives up. That's how I flirt. I flirt mercilessly, but in the end I'm like the dog who finally catches the car. "Any of you ladies want to 'have sex tonight' iykwimaityd?" It's v. post-modern.
I think mine is something like "act friendly and noncommittal and maybe they'll go away..."
it worked with the mister. sadly it also seems to be working with cute chemist guy at work. I don't wanna be snarky to this cat either because I both need to work with him on a semi-regular basis plus I genuinely like the dude AS A COLLEAGUE but he needs to back off and soon because he's about to get the "Sorry Dude I'm Taken So No Hard Feelings But Please Leave Me The Fuck Alone" speech.
Another vote for oblivious. I'm married but in my single years, I usually figured it out a few days later. I may have said this before but my ex-wife's only effective method of flirting with me was asking, "are you going to ask me out or what?" That was obvious enough for me to get.
Non-existent previously, although now I'm getting a lot better at not being afraid to actually look at a woman and make her feel as if I appreciate what I'm looking at, which kinda sounds weird, but it has had a positive effect in so far as getting her to appreciate me as well, I think (from a distance at least).
Next step--to actually approach her and strike up a conversation!
hadj, my man, the tough part with flirting is that women are really subtle, for the most part (there's a small subset who swing to the opposite extreme and are as subtle as a sledgehammer, and they're just as confusing, but for different reasons). The best advice is that if she a) primps her hair or anything else while taking you or b0 finds a reason to touch you, those are positive signals. Beyond that, you're on your own.
Lots of enthusiastic listening. And talking. And hand-waving. It's pretty indistinguishable from my usual conversational style, really. Because I highly enjoy being around people I like, sexually or not, and I tend to like to display my appreciation for other people's company. Hence the smiling and the laughing and the hand-waving storytelling.
Besides, flirting is *way* too fun to reserve for people you're sexually interested in and available for. It's an inalienable right. Flirting for all!
I was talking to one of the guys tonight about successful flirting. I'm a sledge-hammer kind of gal, and he was asking my advice. I gave him the advice that worked for my now husband, and he didn't get a bit of it, I don't think.
I love occhi's take on flirting. I'm so happy to spend time with the folks I like that I'm sure it comes across.
I'm with Occhi and Specklet, I really enjoy being around people in general. Added to this is the many years living in Spain where physical contact is far more common. I've gotten into "difficulties" here in the UK when in a mixed group. I've learned my lesson, mostly (that is I now hang out with like-minded people :)!)