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28 July 2008

Washing instructions:

post by: mdonley at: 03:02 | 18 comments

do not wash.

posted by Meatbomb 28 July | 03:08

...wash differently to everything else you own.

posted by TheophileEscargot 28 July | 03:18

Wash gently with saliva. Dry hanging upside-down from an olive tree facing north-east. Must be dried while being worn.

posted by dg 28 July | 03:28

Lick gently, with extra attention to the seams.

posted by Daniel Charms 28 July | 04:36

Wear once, then discard.

posted by DarkForest 28 July | 05:52

Boil wash only in the deep vacuum of space.
Colours may gain sentience if washed at normal pressures.

posted by seanyboy 28 July | 06:18

Have dog provide vigorous pre-wash cycle to remove leftover food debris. Place in dishwasher, wait for full load to run.

posted by chewatadistance 28 July | 06:59

Hoo-eee! Hose at sumbitch down and don't get none on ya.

posted by Wolfdog 28 July | 07:16

Scrub with sea sponge and lemon verbena soap until pink. Rinse well. Pat dry. Mist with rose water.

posted by Specklet 28 July | 08:18

Use a q-tip dampened with alligator tears and press firmly on each stitch. Change q-tips between stitches for best effect.
To dry, pick each sleeve up with one hand, raise above head, and run down street.

posted by rmless2 28 July | 08:30

instructions on reverse side

...

ǝpıs ǝsɹǝʌǝɹ uo suoıʇɔnɹʇsuı

posted by lysdexic 28 July | 08:46

hose down with hose.

posted by jonmc 28 July | 09:03

And the tag spake, saying, "First shalt thou soak in the Holy Water. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then swishest thou thy Hand Wash Garment..."

posted by muddgirl 28 July | 09:21

Apply deadly chemicals to stain. Wash gently. Garment will fall apart. Stain will not be removed. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Enjoy the high brought on by fumes from chemicals. Have an aneurysim. Die.

posted by WolfDaddy 28 July | 09:44

Place in empty five gallon bucket. Add one gallon bleach. Add one gallon ammonia. Run like hell.

posted by Joe Invisible 28 July | 10:53

Ignore it long enough and your partner will wash it.

posted by rhapsodie 28 July | 11:00

Allow spouse to wash hot. Give shrunken garment to spouse for loungewear.

posted by danf 28 July | 11:04

Wash hot spouse

/was that outside my head?

posted by lysdexic 28 July | 11:31

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