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24 July 2008

Oh, the suffering. [More:]

It's my mom's birthday this week, and I'm planning to treat her to lunch and a movie. I'm delighted to see my mom, of course (she's turning 93); it's the movie that's giving me pause. A couple of weeks ago, she talked about a movie she wanted to see, but couldn't remember the name of it. I braced myself and offered, "Was it Mama Mia?" Naturally, it was. Hence, the source of my pain.

I hate Abba. Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan singing, as much as I might like them as actors, is objectionable enough, but oh, Abba? (My mom, mind you, has no idea who or what Abba is, but she likes Meryl Streep. Damn you, Meryl Streep.)

Hold me. Tell me it's going to be okay. My mom, sweet lady that she is, will undoubtedly be asleep before the previews are over, and I'll be left there to endure. At least there will be popcorn (with extra butter, dammit).

Maybe after she falls asleep I can sneak into Dark Knight.
It will be OK. The story is kind of cute? Yea, I suppose hating ABBA music might make it a little tough.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 24 July | 15:16
Waitamminit, Pips, you don't like "Take a Chance on Me?"
posted by Hugh Janus 24 July | 15:27
ya know, the bass player in my band is blind. i just found out he uses a software email reader. i always thought his wife just read them to him. i am going to have some fun with this...
posted by quonsar 24 July | 15:28
Can you bring a book with a book-light? Alternatively, you could play "I'm crushing your head" with the actors on screen.
posted by MonkeyButter 24 July | 15:30
I love Meryl Streep. I was disappointed to see that the critics pretty much dislike Mamma Mia. I haven't seen it yet. The movie looks visually beautiful and I always love Meryl Streep, she is mesmerizing, but it probably isn't going to be that great, especially if you dislike ABBA. There is plenty of beautiful scenery and beautiful people, so that might get you by!

The Dark Knight is good. I saw it Tuesday night. You should save that to see with jon.

I want to see Tell No One. Because I like getting my heart wrenched.
posted by LoriFLA 24 July | 15:32
Sorry Pips, I've seen the trailer for that several times and always leaves me feeling a little nauseous. I heard Brosnan singing on Ebert and Roeper, and it was truly horrible. My advice would be to bring an iPod. Once your Mom nods off, you can listen to something good.
posted by doctor_negative 24 July | 15:35
Can you bring a book with a book-light?

No! Think of the people aroud you.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 24 July | 15:42
Oh the humanity!

I feel your pain. Been there done that - only my pain was to endure Yanni.

My Mom loved it and to this day doesn't know how much I do NOT like Yanni. Really do not want!

I think you should have something to mix into your soda, just to make it that much better...
posted by mightshould 24 July | 15:43
You're a good daughter.

And oh is that going to be tough. Heck, I kinda like Abba, but spending ~90 minutes submerged in Abba songs not sung by Abba sounds like death by earworm.

(Sorry --- was this and "encouragement" thread or "feel my pain" thread?) (I find I'm having to ask that more and more lately; my social-interaction chip must have shorted out.)

My sympathies, in any case.
posted by Elsa 24 July | 15:46
You're a good daughter.

My ex-husband and I were asked, by his mom, to go see Patch Adams for Christmas one year (it was to be A BIG HAPPY FAMILY OUTING!!!). We couldn't bring ourselves to do it.
posted by scody 24 July | 15:50
Pips, would you be all right with sneaking in an ipod during the movie?
posted by brujita 24 July | 15:55
I saw it the other day - I have the advantage of kinda sorta liking Abba, but had had no intention of seeing the film until some friends asked me to go, and I'm sufficiently short of social interaction that I said yes.

I was surprised how much I laughed, and in part this was because it's genuinely funny in parts. Meryl Streep can genuinely sing well, and Pierce Brosnan is so terrible he's hilarious.

It's only 90 minutes of your life. I like to take my own bottle of water to the cinema - it'd be a short step from that to your own bottle of not-too-strong-smelling booze.

You're a good daughter :) Do report back and let us know how it went.
posted by altolinguistic 24 July | 15:55
Poor Pips!

I second the Ipod recommend, if you can swing it.
posted by bunnyfire 24 July | 15:56
I love Meryl Streep. I was disappointed to see that the critics pretty much dislike Mamma Mia.

Honestly, it's such a niche film - Ebert, at least, was honest and started his review with "I hate Abba, and I hate light-hearted musicals, so I did not like this movie. If you like Abba, and/or you like light-hearted musicals, then you will probably like this movie." So many movie reviewers were like "This is so terrible! They're singing! They're dancing! There's Abba! This movie sucks!"

I'm sort of tempted to see it - not particularly into Abba, but I do like light-hearted musicals, and it's refreshing to see a movie in theaters with older women who aren't stereotypically post-sexual.
posted by muddgirl 24 July | 16:16
You are all wonderful people. Your sympathies and suggestions are most welcome. An electric slushy may be in order. (And perhaps my ipod in my purse as a failsafe.)
posted by Pips 24 July | 16:22
(I do apologize to Abbaphiles. And no, HJ, not even "Take a Chance on Me." Jon converted me completely on the Beach Boys, but has yet to make headway on Abba.)
posted by Pips 24 July | 16:28
I just had a great idea...claim that you have a stomach ache and then send jon instead >:} (my evil smilie doesn't look that evil).
posted by muddgirl 24 July | 16:30
"Pips, would you be all right with sneaking in an ipod during the movie?"

I'm sure Jon could program a suitable alternate soundtrack for you. heheh
posted by Ardiril 24 July | 16:42
I bought the single of "knowing me, knowing you." On 45 rpm.

My only ABBA purchase, but there was something about it that I could not resist.

Ironically, my wife and I are seeing that movie tonight. Again, I can take or leave ABBA, but I love Streep, and just looking at a Greek Island for a couple hours, for one night in my life, sounds, on this day, funner than the usual nightly nourishment of Gwen Ifill or Judy Woodruff.

So just get over it, enjoy your time with your mom, and come back in the morning and talk about how bad the movie was, and if I end up actually going, I'll either agree or disagree in here.

(sorry, I have been listening to too much Dan Savage)

And, pips, this is for you and jon, since it sums up my feelings about that other band, even though a couple of them lived down the alley from me for awhile but I never saw them out in the water BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T SURF!
posted by danf 24 July | 16:46
"Electric slushy" --- bahahahaha!

My only ABBA purchase, but there was something about it that I could not resist.

Danf, no one can resist: there is nothing we can do.

Arg. I owe you all an apology, but... Tt's the best that I can do!
posted by Elsa 24 July | 16:51
but I never saw them out in the water BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T SURF!

They may not surf, sir, but "Don't Worry Baby" and "In My Room," are some beautiful songs.

And yes, I will make the best of it. Anything for mom.
posted by Pips 24 July | 16:56
You're all wrong.

ABBA are brilliant.

Although the film looks pretty poor.
posted by seanyboy 24 July | 17:09
Also, I was led to believe that Dennis Wilson surfed.
posted by box 24 July | 17:17
Also also, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you've seen movies that are much, much worse than Mama Mia.
posted by box 24 July | 17:18
"ABBA are brilliant." - My sentiments as well, and they weren't just a studio band either. They were true performers.
posted by Ardiril 24 July | 17:33
Knowing you, I suggest you listen to as much ABBA as you possibly can between now and then and grow to like it. After all, you'll soon realize, what's not to like? Also, go see the movie beforehand, so you know what you're getting into and won't offend dear mum or anyone else when a terrible part comes up. This is also good preparation because ABBA fans can smell an ABBA hater a mile away, and we all know how violent they can be, especially in groups. Sit in the back and keep the scoffing to a minimum. Don't let it be your Waterloo.
posted by Hellbient 24 July | 17:38
Heh, ABBA. I still have the album a boy who had a crush on me back when I was 11 gave me for my birthday (31 years ago!!). Through our high school reunion, we reconnected by e-mail, and I told him I still kept his gift. He made me promise to never tell anyone he'd given it to me.

That said, I liked altolinguistic's suggestions. I'm sure you'll find something to make you laugh.
posted by redvixen 24 July | 17:53
"He made me promise to never tell anyone he'd given it to me."

In malespeak, that means he still likes you that way.
posted by Ardiril 24 July | 18:02
Also, go see the movie beforehand, so you know what you're getting into

Why do you hate me so, Hellbient?

Don't let it be your Waterloo.

Now that's brilliant.
posted by Pips 24 July | 18:29
Pips, In My Room is my all time favorite Beach Boys song. It's just freaking beautiful. I vote for the iPod escape route.
posted by chewatadistance 24 July | 18:49
They made a Beach Boys musical, you know! Maybe someday they'll make that into a movie! (no, just kidding, the Broadway show was a horrific flop)
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 24 July | 18:58
Pips - might I suggest what's gotten me through plenty of similar situations over the years: the Marty Feldman Switch-a-roo. When you can bear no more, imagine Marty Feldman is any of the roles. If you do it right, it'll make you smile.
posted by Slack-a-gogo 24 July | 19:04
Treat it like a Rocky Horror Picture Show and sing along. Get the audience involved. "Mom, you start..."

See Management and get a Mom's Birthday Free Pass including Guest with double butter popcorns...
work it.

Sometimes something that looks like a bad time may turn out differently.
"I braced myself and offered, "Was it Mama Mia?"
You're a good daughter, generous and honest.
You'll survive, Super Trooper./

posted by alicesshoe 24 July | 19:11
Yeah, don't expect it to be the best movie evar and relax, it's only 90 minutes.

Happy birthday Pip's mum!
posted by goo 24 July | 19:48
"it's only 90 minutes." - That's what my dentist said.
posted by Ardiril 24 July | 20:17
I like the ipod suggestion, with some really incongruous death metal programmed in for fun. I would like to watch all those blondes on the beach in Greece with someone screaming "YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!" in my ear. It's also funny on crowded subways. To me.
posted by rmless2 24 July | 20:47
i got my mom Abba because she liked some cuts on a mixed mp3 disc i made her.
Now whenever i'm with her, Fernando is with us.
She asked me what it meant. Trying to explain what Fernando is doing was pretty amusing. i wish i could have recorded it.
posted by ethylene 24 July | 20:52
A sister-in-law tried to get us to go to the stage production but I could not do it. From what I have read the movie is no where near a good as the play.

You are a very good daughter pips. Hey, it's only 90 minutes or so!
posted by arse_hat 24 July | 23:16
I approached Meryl Streep once and said, "Excuse me but I've seen your skull."

She looked at me as if I had two heads, and took a small step backwards.

"At the Yale library." I'd seen a beautiful single-person teak rowing skull on display there, with a little brass tag "from the collection of Meryl Streep."

"Oh my god! You've seen it! I must introduce you to my husband. Honey, he saw our boat!"

Turns out she doesn't row it, but it's usually hung in their living room as a kind of sculpture.

Anyway, we all know she can be anyone she wants, but in real life she was wearing tight jeans, a T-shirt, and was totally, unmistakably, HAWT!
posted by StickyCarpet 25 July | 19:05
Gastrosexual. || Did exposed cleavage at work become okay? Did I miss a memo?