6. All lost socks will reappear. There will be a note attached. To each sock.

It's the End of the World As We Know It ... Again

7. New Yorker cartoons will make sense to everyone.
8. Wearing Oakley sunglasses will make you able to peer into the Abyss.
9. Bunnies will no longer be cute, and Cute Overload will be changed to Apocalypse Overload.

10. Chuck Norris will be admitted to hospital, citing exhaustion.

11. The Belgians bought Budweiser (the corporation, not the six-pack). Seriously.

12. The purpose of a ninja will be to calmly guide old ladies across the street.

13. Eating vegetables will make you fat.

14. Boobs will no longer be found sexually titillating.

15. Boobies will be found sexually titillating.

16. Except for the boobs of goats and cows, which will be suddenly orgiastic.

11.a.
And the role of the Clydesdales will now be played by Belgians.

The superbowl was never the same when the horses were all kicked out for not joining the actors guild.

All bald men will suddenly grow hair.

Profane and homosexual slurs will no longer be a part of YouTube comments.

The Clydesdales will have their names changed. Bud will be renamed Jean-Pierre.

20. Jesus' cousin Stan Christ arrives.

Man, that guy is sooo not Christ. He's, like, the anti Christ.

21. The answer to the question "What would Jesus drive?" will be found.

I knew Stan Christ, sir, and YOU are no Stan Christ!

The Clydesdales have individual NAMES? I thought they were a team, like The Rockettes. This bothers me.

Dogs will learn how to eat sunlight.
We will forget the words to all Meatloaf songs.
The Sulking of the Turnips.
With the exception of Atticus Finch, all fictional lawyers will walk amongst us.

The Rockettes will have individual names.

A superintendent from one of the high-rises on the river announces good tidings to the people on his block, saying, "Fear the landlord, and give glory to him; for the hour of his payment is come: and respect him that made the roof, and the floor, and the pipes that carry precious water to our faucets." Seven squatters come down from the fourth floor with seven golden pint bottles full of wrath, also known as pot-still hooch. The first squatter spills his pint upon the earth, meets a few slumming trustafarians, and spreads an extremely virulent form of gonorrhea upon them. The second squatter spills her pint in the harbor; the hooch is so strong that even the hardiest fish disintegrate, and the harbor fills with blood. The third spills his pint in the the East River, and it becomes blood; the squatter of the waters sings a song and tricks a few off-duty security guards into drinking from the bloody river. The fourth spills her pint on a midtown office building, which reflects the sun and burns the eyes from the heads of the too-busy. The fifth squatter spills his pint on the steps of city hall, is seized and thrown into a dark jail; the skies grow dark and nobody notices. The sixth pours out her vial upon the great Hudson, and it dries up, so as to prepare the way for the Lords of Jersey (Springsteen and Bon Jovi) to gather in Madison Square Garden. The seventh tosses his pint into the air and it shatters, breaking the city into five boroughs, which is business as usual so nobody notices that, either; other cities have similar goings-on, the earth wiggles around some. Then New York City takes from the squatters the remaining moonshine and drinks a deep, wrathful swallow.

Nobody really cares because the F train is stopped in Queens due to a police incident and the transfer is a nightmare.

All congressional meetings will be held in roller derby form.

I tip my hat to you, Hugh Janus.

David Letterman starts doing top 13-4i lists.

All the commuters in Greater Los Angeles will learn to ride the bus.

/got nuthin'

Life goes on as normal, nobody notices all the horsemen.

Daniel Charms - you want to be careful with that one because Jesus Chrysler Drives A Dodge.

Yea, verily, at that time, it is written in the book of Obadiah. A man shall strike his donkey and his nephew's donkey and anyone in the vicinity of his nephew or the donkey... There shall, in that time, be rumours of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi-- with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that, in that time, shall the third one...
Boring Prophet (Michael Palin) - "The Life of Brian"

Sonic Youth sells a compilation CD at Starbucks.

Strap ons and facial hair extensions will be all the rage in children's fashions.

i can't beat BP's. It took me ages to click it and i can't bear to do more than skim it.
*shivers*

Profane and homosexual slurs will no longer be a part of YouTube comments.

Further, YouTube comments will be models of proper grammar, spelling, syntax, insight, and intelligence.

The celebrity who formerly annoyed the living shit out of you will suddenly no longer do so and will make propeshies of undeniable veracity and wisdom.