I had an old friend that I basically dropped →[More:]

I had a very close friend when I was a teenager until four or five years ago. She lived with my family for a period of time because her family was extremely screwed up.

This particular friend had her problems and flaws just like anybody else. At times she was exhausting to be around. She was a severe hypochondriac. More often than not I was convincing her she didn't have a brain tumor. She was self-centered. She was extremely beautiful and thrived on attention from the opposite sex. Sometimes she wouldn't call for months on end because she was absorbed in her life. I didn't fault her for this because I can get in my own little world and neglect friends too.

I was very close with her first serious boyfriend. We were all friends and went on ski trips and other vacations together. They were together for a long time. They became engaged. She began to cheat on him and decided she didn't want to be married. She didn't give the ring back. He had to pry it off her finger.

She begins seeing another nice guy (one of the people she cheated with while she was engaged). He's really nice and we all get along well. I am the maid of honor in her elaborate, huge, no expense spared wedding. They built a beautiful new house. They both had great careers and their life was pretty much ideal.

After a year of marriage she began to cheat on her husband with some guy she worked with. She worked for a household name sports and entertainment company and was on the road a lot. She hooked up with this person on the road. She left her husband two days before Christmas.

At this point I am like WTF? It was none of my business what she did with her personal life but I was seriously disgusted when she cheated on her husband. She just had this huge elaborate wedding. She had never met her biological father that died of leukemia when my friend was in her early twenties. His children and family connected with my friend and helped pay for some of the wedding.

After she dumped her husband (who was a truly nice guy. I knew him very well. He was what I would call a catch. He was handsome, smart, great job, motivated, athletic, and loved the arts) I couldn't stand her anymore. I thought she was shallow and self-centered and didn't care about anybody but herself. She had the great things in life and decided to ruin it.

I wasn't mean or hateful toward her. The last conversation we had was when she had moved out of her house to be with the new guy. I didn't know the extent of her determination to never go back so I was offering suggestions to go to marital counseling or speak to somebody at their church.

I got an invitation for another elaborate wedding on the beach (she was marrying the guy she was having an affair with) and a baby shower invitation, I didn't RSVP and I didn't go. This pretty much got the message across that I wasn't interested in being friends and I that she was crazy and we have spoken since. I have seen her once or twice in town and we are always polite, but that's about it.

I wasn't there when she had her baby. He is now three-years-old. I saw her in a sandwich shop a year or two ago and she told me, "so many times I have wanted to call you. So many times I had questions about my baby and I was at my wits end and I wanted to talk to you." She apologized to me. I felt bad and told her there was no reason to say she was sorry. I told her that the reason we weren't in touch was because of my own issues. Which is true. I decided to cut off the friendship because I thought she was selfish and needed constant attention from men and people in general. I was pissed that she cheated on her husband, no matter if it was my business or not. I saw her cheat on her first fiance. I thought it was sad but I was forgiving. I couldn't handle it when she cheated again. I thought she had no regard for the people that loved her. That included the new family she connected with, her in-laws that loved her, and all of their mutual friends. It was sad and cruel in a lot of ways.

All of these years I have missed her. Lately I have been thinking about her a lot. She was one of those rare friends that I could completely be myself around. I think about her a lot and have often wanted to call her. There has been so much time and distance between us. I am still conflicted whether I should be friends with her. It's kind of awkward.

Yesterday I was at DeLeon Springs. DeLeon Springs is about 30 miles away from my house, and about 35 from hers. It's not like it's that close. We would be more likely to run into one another at the beach. I'm swimming in the spring, playing with my kids and as I'm swimming the perimeter of the spring I see my old friend. We used to go to this spring when we were teenagers and had a driver's license. We hug, we say hello. She told me she hadn't been to deLeon since we went together nearly twenty years ago. Yesterday I met her new husband for the first time. I met her child for the first time. We said that we would call one another. She wants to have us over for dinner. I do miss her. We haven't exchanged phone calls yet. I don't know what to do. I'm not at a place where I despise her for cheating but I am still conflicted. Part of me feels like a self-righteous asshole for dropping her in the first place. Part of me thinks she is exhausting and hurtful to people.