Do I have to agree to this lunch?
Don't make me go!!→
[More:] My ex's mother absolutely loves me, and always wants to have me more in her life (inviting me to concerts, etc.) Now she wants to have lunch yet again, but I feel absolutely nothing (good or bad) towards her and I don't know how to draw the line, it's a chore, not a pleasure, to see her. Why do I have to continue this relationship?
I think she is eternally grateful that I was such a stable influence in her son's life; but it's been 10 years since he died, and frankly it's exhausting to interrupt my work day to drive and try to find an obscure atmospheric county restaurant just to struggle to make conversation on my part (my life is boring at the moment, and being forced to analyze it yet again is not relaxing) and/or and listen to all her retirement activities and outdated, self-centered feminist rantings. (Some of these rantings contributed to his being so screwed up, which I also resent, probably unfairly, but it doesn't help my feelings towards her.)
But breaking off contact completely with her would be crushing to her, and besides she gave me some of his money when he died (without asking) so I feel that guilt as well. Who's the more selfish person here?! Why can't I just people-please her and not have it bother me?! How does one deal with relationships that mean absolutely nothing? How have you dealt with such a relationship?