Banned from #bunnies? Not on purpose, I assure you. Must be this thing?

I'm not sure what Chatzilla is but I know I've never used it.

Dont forget the three hours of downtime!

I remember the last election on the internets, and honestly I just can't take it. I've been dreading this sort of ramp-up. Anyone is welcome to discuss anything here, agree, disagree, whatever ... but in my mind, this space is more like a house party, not an arena, and nasty shit isn't going to fly.

I tend to mostly avoid political threads, so I'm at fault for sort of tuning out, but that's over. If we need to make explicit rules about how political discussion will happen here, we will. Hopefully this won't be necessary.

I think we should make a rule that there are no rules ;-)

Rules suck, for a million reasons, not the least of which is that once you make a rule, it seems to imply that everything that doesn't meet the exact technical specificity of the wording of the rule is A-OK, and then the rule gets appended to include x, y, or z, and it starts sprouting new rules, that also begin gathering appendices, and everyone wants to talk and argue about the rules, which is about about as much fun as Robert's Rules of Order, the novelization. And it all SUX SUX SUX.

But American politics has turned rabid in the last few years, and a lot of people/sites have tended to soak in it, and I honestly can't take it here. I'll walk away first.

So, best is No Rules, but people choose to act rational and avoid personal attacks. Next best is some general guideline that if you want to talk politics it's incumbent on you to chill with the nasty attacks, and just state your point of view in a rational manner, or else stay out of those threads. If we have to make some kind of bullet-proof list of what is allowed and what isn't allowed, yeah, time to just give up the ship. It's just not worth it.

I agree and sorry for being a bit glib about something that is really important - I'm feeling a bit punch-drunk after a hellish week (I got two weeks to settle into my new job before I was yanked out and told I was manager for the next five weeks, right when our minister is going through estimates hearings, meaning mammoth amounts of work for me in ridiculously short amounts of time).

Anyway, I would hate to think that we have to institute rules for what people can and can't do here, because things work so well as they are. I would also hate to see MeFi-like political discussions here, mostly because this place is too small for people to just ignore it and move on - it would permeate the whole site before long and then I would have to be gone too. I think that people here generally understand that the only thing you aren't allowed to do is be an arsehole (or arseholette?) - it's a pretty tolerant place if you respect the rights of others to disagree with you and I would hate to lose that. Sometimes it's perhaps a bit too "nice", but the balance is hard to get perfect and too nice is better than too nasty. Somewhere between MeFi and MeCha would be perfect for me, but having both is even better.

I'm rambling again, aren't I? That's what a hard week followed by a couple of bourbons at work on Friday afternoon will do to you, I guess. Sorry.

I understand the "too nice" charge - it's made a lot. But it's a much more complex dynamic than simply being mushy-fuzzy-lahdeedah-look-at-the-cute-bunny. It's a small place, and if you hang out at all, you grow to know people. You know when someone is having a hard time, or freaking out, or something cool happens to them. You know a lot about the sorts of things that interest them, and how they spend their time. You know when they have a death in the family or other loss, and you probably know what they had for lunch yesterday, or have cooked a meal from a recipe they've provided.

We have spats sometimes, like any group of friends, or acquaintances, if "friends" seems like too strong of a word (it's how I view this group, though), but they are spats that are more likely to come from a more intimate place than most internet dick-swinging contests (and they do tend to blow over, for the most part). People here will tend to get frustrated with or hurt by certain conflicts because of what they know about the other people here more often than what they don't know, as is more typical for larger sites. At mefi, for example, you can take a position that's a bit more "right" or "left" than your usual stance, and you'll have a lot of people assuming things about you because they are judging you from one comment, or a series of comments on a certain subject.

Here, when somebody voices a view that may be different than yours, you most likely know a lot more about them, and can put it into context, which helps us, usually, not to flip out. What this means is that most of the time, this group chooses to interact in a more tolerant way, and to be more forgiving ultimately about little run-ins. So, people sheath their claws a lot here, and not only that, but choose to be almost ironically silly and cutesy (with posts, for example) a lot of the time, as a relief from the bitterness, fighting and just plain "mean" behavior that can populate discussions on the internet when people are trying to prove themselves or make an impact since they feel relatively invisible otherwise.

So, to me, the silly threads, the cute threads, the supportive comments, the whole "What's your favorite color?" thing (quoting from Matt, which is really exactly right) is a kind of rebellious choice by the users here, who are smart, sharp, opinionated, sophisticated, educated, savvy, and very, very aware of what they are selecting. So, it's really not so much of a kaffeeklatch for the sentimental, as it is a place to decompress, chat without feeling the need to constantly bulk up our internet "cred", and enjoy the fact that we have the luxury of knowing a lot more about each other than is normally possible.

So sometimes we roll around in "cute" or "silly", or - yes, even "sentimental" occasionally - like little internet pigs in mud. Because it's a relief. When that unspoken agreement to be chill is breached, and people go for the super-hostile, overblown accusations and what I basically think of as "stunt-posting" it's like someone just took a big shit in the middle of the living room. When that happens, it kind of ruins the living room as a space to hang out.

You know what else ruins the living room as a space to hang out? Putting up big signs that say "NO SMOKING!"; "YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WORK HERE"; "IF YOU DRINK THE LAST CUP, MAKE MORE!!!!!!", etc. Scary-looking bouncers don't help the ambience either, so we depend on each other to keep the social lubrication flowing without resort to bullshit like that, just because we want one place that is relatively amusing, free-flowing and friendly where we don't have to play Thunderdome when we don't feel like being tough-guy internet gladiators. Sometimes we spar a bit, okay - but that's not the point of Metachat. Not at all.

a_h, I don't know of any bans. If you're having trouble getting on IRC, let me or one of the other ops know, and we'll do our best to get you connected.

Also, since it's my time of day (not time of the month, no, so just shelve that crack, before I burst into tears and lock myself in the bedroom!) to be loquacious (*waves to loquacious*), I'll reminisce a bit. When we started metachat, it was really propelled by one main thing, Metafilter was having it's JRun problems back then, and it was down most of the day for me, because that was nighttime for Matt, and he was the only one who could kickstart it back then.

I could have spent my time at BoingBoing or other sites that were posting cool/interesting stuff found on the internet, but what I missed most was the group of people that were hanging out in Metatalk a lot, and the silliness and friendliness that would manifest at the end of Metatalk posts, usually in U.S. wee hours, my mornings. I missed being able to drink my morning coffee along with Metatalk folks while also perusing the front page. I also felt guilty when I goofed around, because I knew that Matt created Metatalk for a specific reason, which wasn't silly-chatty. So I curbed my behavior there and tried to be, on the balance, more helpful/productive/focused than I was chatty or jokey, but I loved the back-and-forth and the more gentle playfulness that would take over at a certain point. The fact that it was also counterpoint to a lot of very bright, hard-edged discussion on the blue made it all even that much more interesting, and I think this is a bit of what dg means when he talks about a median sort of thing between mefi and metachat.

Well, it's not really possible to invent/recreate an atmosphere that has arisen spontaneously, but I hoped metachat could be an outlet for when mefi people were feeling loose and chatty. We didn't really think it would work out, to be honest. We thought it was much more likely that we would get about 100-200 people signing up right away, maybe a few weeks, or even months, of sustained participation, and then it would sigh and expire. I put a bunny image in the background of the site to sort of encourage the more gentle and playful interaction as opposed to goatse, etc. or flame posting, and the bunny was a reference to Oolong, much beloved by mefites, and to me, sort of a symbol of the site's more human side. I also gave the site a soft blue graduated background, which was also a nod to Mefi, and again, a sort of nudge towards the softer/friendlier aspect of metafilter.

At first, I expected the site to be a place where people would mostly just post internet links, but they might be stuff that was probably more fun than serious, maybe things that people liked but didn't want to post to the blue, and that the discussion threads might be along light and playful lines. And we suggested that people could ask try asking for help/advice if they had recently posted an AskMe and couldn't post again for a while. Those things happened, but also the bunny thing became a theme, which was kind of weird, but also amusing, and people did unexpected things like posting SHOUTING threads, and all sorts of silliness that we hadn't imagined. At first, we thought, "is this how the site should develop? Should we, like, steer it somehow or something?"

But ultimately, it was much more interesting to just see what happened naturally, plus we (I at least) didn't really have the first clue about how to shape a site into something that we really weren't sure of, in terms of what it should "be", anyway. All I was ever really sure I wanted to be a part of it was just that relaxed and intimate ambiance that I could sometimes find in threads in the blue and gray after the "work-day" part of that thread was over.

And that's really pretty much how I still feel. I love that we can have very interesting and intelligent discussions on more serious matters. I love that those come up. I also love the goofy and unexpected stuff. I like that we can ask each other about life minutiae stuff, and get advice, and blow off steam, and be self-indulgent, even though sometimes we can veer too much that way.

Does the fact that we don't, for the most part, have the more stringent (and astringent), more combative elements that mefi does make it more mushy and vanilla? Yeah, it really does - kind of like eating comfort food three meals a day. But we are what we are; people mostly like to hang out here to relax, so complaining that it's too nice is like complaining that the pub isn't more like a gym. Or something. But there's no actual bar for most things... metachat can develop any way the majority of users want it to, as it has; it doesn't have to be a static thing where only certain sorts of posts and interactions are expected/allowed, and we (I) don't want to us to become increasingly anemic and thin-skinned about how we talk to each other. I do think we need to guard against that, but on the other hand, to view the site as a place to vent your aggression is a mistake, as far as I'm concerned. There are so many places to do that, and so few places to choose more imaginative, creative ways of interacting.

We can do pretty much anything here; we can make up games and collaborative projects and all it takes is enough interest from the group and the person or persons willing to spearhead an idea and carry it through. We can start new traditions, new ways of talking, posting, ... anything. Why should we ever feel compelled to do only what has been done before, or to carry on with paradigms from other places? But for me, if everyone wants to talk about American politics and X-Controversy all the time and scream at each other, that will be disappointing, and I'll come up with something else to do.

Oh taz!

I've been a little on edge, recently, and I definitely don't always keep a level head or a level heart in the political-type threads. I appreciate all the different stuff there is to talk about here, and sometimes we are capable of polite, well-reasoned debate.

Maybe we just need a reminder, from time to time, that we're all nice people, and there's no cause for blowing up.

Oi! Is smoking not allowed here, I never noticed the sign...

I'm smoking right now! I'm also farting and belching.

okay, the last two were really quonsar, but you know...

*kisses muddgirl*

Hm. Maybe instead of rules, we have principles? And I don't mean the "high horse" connotation of "I have principles and you don't. Just that these are the principles we go by, etc.

Right now the only thing that comes to mind is the definition of civilized behavior I picked up from M. Scott Peck's book "A World Waiting to be Born" - we don't hurt each other unnecessarily.

In any interaction, any group of people, there are going to be times when we say something that hurts. Intentionally, unintentionally, whatever. Maybe it's needful, maybe it isn't. A great example was hadjiboy's rant at the group about how our advice sucked (for him), and how a lot of us perceived his responses. I didn't stay for the rest of the thread, but hopefully it worked out well. I seem to recall something similar with pieisexactlythree.

muddgirl had a good point that there may need to be occasional reminders. I'm good with that. I've been on boards, BBS's, listservs, you name it, and the very best ones have temperate moderators, who nudge people back to the purpose, who let things slide if need be, and who occasionally have to put the hammer down. One thing in common is that they'll post a reminder (one did it monthly) that, hey y'all, this is what we do here.

(sometimes they get too into something and literally put the hammer down - handing it to someone else. Not saying that's needed here - we're a looong ways away from that kind of dysfunction)

So, a toast to Metachat, taz and seanyboy and crew, and let's keep this party going!

/tosses shot glass into the fireplace

How's the doggie situation taz?

That was nice, taz, thank you. It's good to hear the history from the admin side and remember why & how mecha started. I love the free form angle of this place and I love that it has all happened unexpectedly.

Thanks, lysdexic and mgl. I really love that as admins and mods, we usually have almost nothing to do (except for seanyboy, who always has the engine to deal with). People here really are responsible for/to themselves and the site, which is ideal, though I realize that it also breeds complacency in us, which can then breed overreaction when things do get messy... and that we can also be seen as being maybe too hands-off in some situations... as well as seeming too intrusive when we do step in, because it's not typical. It's a little daunting, altogether, and this is an easy site. Matt, cortex, jess, et al, are the firewalkers.

I need to update on that, Gracie, but I'm feeling kind of depressed about the situation. Our friend will keep the dog with her dad, though.

chiming in on what mgl & lysdexic said. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say this morning (I guess, evening your time) and you know, it's just nice around here.

I think it's unfair to complain about "lots of shitty politics posts" when several things are true:

*There really weren't that many political posts- I count 5 in the past two days. I read them all, and found them very interesting.
*You are not required to read or engage in any posts.
*Anyone can make a post about anything at any time. Seriously, ANYTHING. Hey, look a dog on a skateboard. I'm eating beans for lunch. How should I do my hair. If you're not liking the posts on the front page, it is well within your power to help change that situation.

irc ops more like cops amirite

I'm with TPS. I haven't noticed the "lots of shitty politics posts," either, and if you don't like a thread, just ignore it.

I'm against ad hominem attacks but beyond that I think just about anything should allowed.

Also, tazzy (can I call you tazzy?), ya gotta remember that we get new blood here all the time, and they might not really grok the atmosphere right away. I don't think that friendly reminders to be nice will be amiss.

TPS - I don't think the problem is with political posts per-se, but the fact that they sometimes get really, really ugly. There were two yesterday that did so. I DO generally avoid threads that have turned sour, but it's not like I can filter them out of the "Recent Comments" section. And it makes me really sad and frustrated when longstanding MeCha members piss all over each other. The internet is full of that stuff. I hope that I can come here and avoid it.

TPS - I don't think the problem is with political posts per-se, but the fact that they sometimes get really, really ugly. There were two yesterday that did so.

I suppose we disagree on the definition of "really, really ugly", because overall, the posts yesterday went very well. A few people got into heated discussions, but honestly, that's their choice- if you've been around longer than 5 minutes, you know how things will go, and if you're choosing to take things to the next level, that's a reflection on you at that moment, and not any particular topic. I don't like the idea of limiting or discouraging topics because some people might get upset. If people get upset, they can (and should!) disengage.

Whoa! Not arguing for more moderation here! More of a plea for disengagement. And yes, my tolerance for "ugly" is certainly lower here than elsewhere in the blog-o-web, because there is the possibility that it can get real personal here. I don't want taz to get unhappy and quit. I don't want to see anyone flame out and quit over something stupid like Ralph Nader. That's all.

they sometimes get really, really ugly. There were two yesterday that did so.

It always interests me that what some people consider "ugly" or "heated," others might just call "serious" or "impassioned." I think it partly has to do with individual tolerance for conflict and partly has to do with site intent. Since I have a really high tolerance for conflict - and try pretty hard to take on views or logic rather than individuals -- I don't really think anything went overboard. Others might feel differently. And if it's important to the community that the site needs to retain a low tolerance for conflict, then the guideline 'avoid conflict' should defnitely be clearly stated.

I'm actually a lot more comfortable with politicky threads, which are about ideas, than with threads where we're psychoanalyzing individuals and giving advice and reactions. YMMV.

I don't really think anything went overboard

I didn't read all the 5 politics threads, though, so there might be some stuff that went overboard, I don't know. Also, I'll admit I'm cranky as hell.

But another part of it is that posting traffic seems to have slowed, and the group of frequent users is seeming smaller. There just appears to be not as much to talk about here lately (might be me, I dunno), so tossing a nice hot topic into the crowd gets more response than maybe it wouldv'e in the past.

I think the solution to what people might think are lousy posts is, as always, to make more and better posts.

if you've been around longer than 5 minutes, you know how things will go,

Yeaaaah... see that is where we disagree. I don't believe that every conversation about politics, religion, etc. on the internet has to be all Wild Kingdom, survival of the fittest, eat or be eaten. I think that some spaces can exist where people can talk a lot more as they would in real life, without inviting people to suck their balls or whatever.

I'm not really onboard with the whole idea of "well that's what you signed up for when you decided to talk about X subject on the INTERNET, you fool!"

Also, apologies, but I'm not actually here right now for the most part, so I probably won't be following up much on this discussion until my morning. Going on 9 p.m. here, and time for supper and stuff.

I think that some spaces can exist where people can talk a lot more as they would in real life,

Actually, this is often how I describe MeCha to people - a place where you actually can (sometimes) talk about controversial stuff without it turning into ad hominem attacks and all that. I like feeling like there is a smart bunch of people that I can actually discuss things with (e.g. the baptism thread I started) without worrying too much about things degrading. Because I'm not often in a large group of my "real-life" friends where we talk about Serious Matters.

I don't believe that every conversation about politics, religion, etc. on the internet has to be all Wild Kingdom, survival of the fittest, eat or be eaten

I don't think so either, and that's not what I meant. I meant that if you take it there, it will go there, and you can't be surprised that if you do take it there, that it goes there. Did I throw in enough this, that and the other things into this comment? This that there where here.

But another part of it is that posting traffic seems to have slowed, and the group of frequent users is seeming smaller. There just appears to be not as much to talk about here lately (might be me, I dunno)

Not just you, I've noticed it, too. Which is why I try to be active about posting things that will be interesting and positive and fun, although I've been feeling lazy lately about that.

OK, maybe I'm just too sensitive to talk about politics with people that I actually like and respect.

I think posting usually does slow down in the summertime, doesn't it? I seem to remember thinking the same thing last year, and yeah, I've noticed it this year too.

I remember a LOT of Hillary v Barack discussions. Lots of very strong feelings, lots of opinions, lots of personal angst, but, on a whole, the discussions here embodied respect, listening, and a "we're all friends and that's the most important thing" dynamic. Lot's of *I* statements and very few *you* statements. I had a lot of "real-life" discussions about that also.

Yesterday seemed like an aberration. I also think that many of us who hang out on the left feel an armageddon-like quality to the next election. If our person does not win, it's all over. Whether that is true or not, well, I do not have the objectivity to make that call. But it's easy to get over-amped about stuff, with that doomsday feeling that a lot of us have. Easy to demonize anyone who sees it differently.

My own little rant on gun control was not aimed at anyone, it was just venting and, in part, how it effected me on a personal level in my life. I tried not to make it about anyone here.

It's good to discuss these things (the tenor of the threads) from time to time. I like it here, and want to see *here* keep the qualities that it has had.

I appreciate taz.

and I still think Nader's a dick, although I am open to being proven wrong *smile*

As long as we’re all navel-gazing, let me pull out some lint and see what I can make of it.

As I’ve noted here and there, I’m going to be switching to day shift come Monday, so I’m not going to have the time to hang out here as much as I have. To be honest, though, I’ve been thinking of curtailing my time here anyway.

Metachat is what people make of it. What drew me here in the first place was the goofy atmosphere; it was full of really funny, bright people who made me laugh more often than not. This is not to say that the capital S SERIOUS couldn’t be addressed, but when it was, it was often with a certain tone of irreverence and absurdity. Also, there was a large number of people who were really passionate about music. Music and the absurd are the two topics nearest my heart, so I was pretty much like a pig in shit.

Things change. That’s the nature of life, and to be expected. While the majority of the participants here are certainly bright, I’m finding myself wondering where the majority of absurd/music wing went. Lately when I look at the front page, it seems full of what Miko referred to as “threads where we're psychoanalyzing individuals and giving advice and reactions” (or what I generally see as personal drama threads). These are interspersed with “how should I clean/decorate my home” threads (which do not interest me in the least), “how should I cook this/what should I cook” (which I do have some interest in), and politics (which I’m interested in, but not 24/7). Oh, and the fuzzy bunny pictures too, of course.

Now, as TPS very rightly points out, if I’m not interested in a thread, I can just skip it. And I do. That skipping is leaving me progressively less and less to interact with, though. As she also points out, if I’m not seeing what I want, I should start a thread of my own. I’ve done that as well, with decidedly mixed results. The goofy energy just isn’t really here all that much anymore.

I’m certainly not saying that the site should progress in the way I dictate, (deity of your choice) forbid. Obviously the people who are here are getting something out of Metachat these days that I’m not, for the most part. Since I’m told I’m not the center of the universe, that’s OK. But when you add the lack of compelling (to me) content to the sort of juvenile antics we saw yesterday AND the seemingly obsessive dispersal of troll bait by one particular member… well, I’m just not having all that much fun anymore.

This is not me stomping off in a huff. As I said at the top of this increasingly long screed, my job is changing in a way that will keep me away a lot of the time. I will probably poke my head in from time to time, and maybe do a radio set as well. I just don’t know how often that’s going to be.

*pushes lint around desktop*

Hey, look, I made a bunny.

I would like to state that my remarks (yesterday, and in general) were not directed to any individuals on the site. Maybe that does not completely de-hominemize them. Fine. I realized what kind of a thread I was walking into with the title of the post, and it's my responsibility to be adult about things. I didn't personally blow up, though I understand that thanks to my strong language, that's what it may have seemed like. That's just my style. I enjoy talking about ideas, so yes, I get passionate about them. Don't take offense (or do, it's a free country). I don't believe in stupid (or insert adjective here) people. I believe people do stupid (or insert adjective here) things, myself included. But it's ultimately your choice, and you're the one who has to sleep with it at night.

taz, it's your site. I respect you, I adore you, and I hate giving you sleepless nights. I meant what I said yesterday, even if no one saw it. I love MetaChat. I love you guys. That's why I get amped. Not because I hate you or think less of you. It's because I think the world of you, and it's hard seeing my favorite people—people I respect—making asinine, small-minded comments, even just off-the-cuff. And yes, we may disagree on politics, but I think we agree that this stuff is important.

I encourage anyone still upset, nursing hurt feelings, or otherwise generally bewildered to go back and read my comments again. This time, read them without malice, and see if you can find the place I was coming from. I'm well aware it's not the most effective or persuasive rhetorical style. I'll be working on that.

I'm going to add two things here:

1) If you deal in inflamatory rhetoric, you'd better be prepared to deal with the consquences thereof.

2) It's very easy to say that you respect something or someone; showing actual respect is another thing entirely.

AND the seemingly obsessive dispersal of troll bait by one particular member

If you want to call someone out, please do so, via e-mail or post. If you don't care enough to say a name, it's probably not worth it. Nameless callouts are so weak.

1) If you deal in inflamatory rhetoric, you'd better be prepared to deal with the consquences thereof.

Yes, that's what I've done here, by commenting rather than letting things fester.

If you want to call someone out, please do so

I pointed it out in a couple of the relevant threads, which I figure is sufficient. If you really, desperately need to know, my email is in my profile.

Nameless callouts are so weak.

Oh well. You can't please everybody.

See, Eide, even the comment you just made is really, really frustrating. (To me.) It's this part of it:

It's because I think the world of you, and it's hard seeing my favorite people—people I respect—making asinine, small-minded comments, even just off-the-cuff.

It's a totally backhanded -- maybe even underhanded -- way of saying "but I'm still right and you're still stupid." Claiming to be respectful while, in the same breath, calling the people you disagree with "asinine" and "small-minded" -- where's the respect in that?

Everyone here has ideas and opinions, and no one's ideas or opinions are any less valuable than anyone else's. That was one thing you railed about yesterday -- that you feel one segment of the population wants to disallow another segment's right to vote for someone other than the Dem/Repub candidate.

You can't have it both ways. You can't claim to respect people while simultaneously insulting them. It's the same kind of behavior that cropped up in the Nader thread, though without the rhetoric, and it doesn't really improve the chances of your message getting through.

I'm trying really hard to keep an even tone here, but this really kind of sets me off. I've really enjoyed this thread though, especially what taz has to say. (And how can you NOT adore taz. When November comes around, I'm writing taz in for the office of God.)

That's one of the things I really like about Metachat. Tempers flare sometimes, and we've had our share of contentious threads. The smoke invariably clears, though, and the thorny threads are almost always followed the next day by a peace-making thread, wherein the arguments are taken on calmly, rationally, and with a great deal of acceptance for the opposing view. We have a lot of make-up sex around here, and I love that.

Make-up sex isn't all that good, though, when you're in the middle of it and your partner goes, "But no, really, you've GOT to put the cap back on the toothpaste, you lazy slob."

I probably could have made that comment without using the word "really" seven times, but where's the fun in THAT?"

Things I Miss About The Bunnyverse:

1. massive IRC nights with 30 or so people
2. doing eight-hour marathon radio sets with Eideteker
3. meetups - haven't been to one in awhile.

Metachat is changing, not necessarily for the worse or the better - but it feels different now than when I first came on back in 2005.

But it still one of the best reasons to get online, period.

I always spell sucky without an e. What's the deal, arsey?

"I think it's unfair to complain about "lots of shitty politics posts" when several things are true:"

I don't think it's unfair at all. Deliberate antagonistic blasts of invective and insult make for a shitty thread IMHO.

*You are not required to read or engage in any posts."

Actually as a mod, yes I am. That's my choice. If it really gets on my nerves I know I can leave.

gaspode The extra e is for extra... any New Yorkers remember that commercial?

Claiming to be respectful while, in the same breath, calling the people you disagree with "asinine" and "small-minded" -- where's the respect in that?

I didn't call the people, I called the ideas.

I have a kind of reverse correspondence bias. So when I make pronouncements on situational aspects of behavior, people tend to assume I am actually condemning them dispositionally. Because I segregate them internally, so I do a lousy job of communicating that separation internally. So yes, when I get cut off in traffic, for example, I might say: "That was stupid!" What the other person might hear is: "You are stupid." But it's really more like "I can't believe that just happened." I'm probably not explaining this very well.

But there it is. I iz bad at interpurrsonel commyouniquations. I also derive unnecessary joy from swearing like a sailor. No harm intended. I'm a well-meaning sociopath with Tourette's. Except not really. But it may help to think of me as such, so I'll offer it to those who will.

"How am I supposed to get the cap back on when you've got it all gunked up with dried-out toothpaste?"

Oh, I wish I had the time to get into a long conversation about this, because MetaChat is something that is very near and dear to me. I wish I had more time to spend here, but my current workload prevents that. The fact that, with my limited free time, I choose to come here instead of MetaTalk (which has been my soul's home for many years) speaks volumes that I guess people won't really understand.

taz, please know that I was not being critical at all with my comments about the level of niceness here, because I wasn't. In any case, if I really felt there was too much niceness here, I have it on my power to change that by bringing more topics to the table that will provoke robust debate. Maybe if I ever get time I'll try to do just that. As a moderator, I guess I have even more power to change the tone here by not deleting things that break the "don't be an arsehole" rule - something that most people here can't do. Not that I have to do much of that, because people here aren't arseholes in general. Well, they might be, I guess, but they don't let that out here.

As taz mentioned, there is almost no work here for the moderators - I can't speak for the admins, but I'm sure their workload is higher. Much of the correspondence between moderators/admins is of the "more stupid shit that's too banal even for MeCha" variety, which is think is a good benchmark that things are pretty calm here.

Also, nobody gets make-up sex until after they put the cap back on the toothpaste. That's the rule.

You don't need make-up for sex silly.

Maybe you don't need it, but have you ever seen a photo of me?

though a cape and a wizard's hat wouldn't be far amiss.

*pictures taz in cape, wizard's hat and nothing else*