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(note to melismata: no one is telling you to act your age. . .just sayin)


and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Hoppy Burfday!

Hoppy B-Day!!

39 AIN'T SO BAD!!! HAPPY DAMN BIRTHDAY!!!

I turned 39 last Saturday. At least we're not 40 yet!

I'm at a family reunion in Washington (state) and am surrounded by much-younger cousins with their beautific spouses and happy marriages. Bah!

On the other hand, my loser older (40) cousin is here; his sister tells me he's never even had a GF (or BF), and is quite possibly a virgin. My long-term relationships make me look like a raging success in comparison. Poor bastard.

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39 is a very good age. Most of us try to hang on to it for years.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Why, you don't look another year older.



at least, from where I'm standing, way over here on the other side of the internet....

I've been 40 for a month, young whippersnapper! ;-)

The guy I was attracted to at Iowa told me he was "too old for me" (12 years), then married someone only a year older than I am.


Happy Happy!

40 is much worse. And brujita, the next two months are no better. Love 39 while you still can Melismata.

Hey, I've been 39 for 6 years now, that's how much I love it. Happy Birthday!!

The dating groups all suck anyway, at least that's my experience - my one terrifying experience with speed dating was supposed to be for ages 35 - 45 and it was full of guys in their early fifties looking for girls in their early thirties. Gah.

Happy Birthday!
(Go to museum events instead of dating groups- seems to be all mid- to late-30's people when I go.)

Happy birthday! 39 will be fantastic, though the dating-age thing sounds like a bit of a sticky wicket.

I'm racing to catch up with you --- my family poked gentle fun when they realized I've started rounding up to 39 a couple of months before my birthday --- and I wonder if this:

PEOPLE WHO MAY BE DIVORCED AND HAVE ALREADY HAD THEIR KIDS

is as big a problem as it feels to you right now. I have no numbers to back this up, but anecdotally that feels to me like an outdated model of first mariages vs. second ones. Am I alone in thinking that?

Can you think of friends or family members who partnered or remarried after a divorce, then went on to have children with their new partners? Most of the new parents I know fit that pattern. Many of them do also have children from the previous marriage, but boy oh boy do those "blended families" sounds and look exactly like families, which is the point.

Not trying to dismiss your concerns, just pointing out that, at least in my social circle, meeting, marrying (or civil union-ing_), and reproducing/adopting/fostering/othering in the late-30s/early-40s is pretty common.

I think all the time how lucky I am to have met The Fella at this age; ten years earlier, we wouldn't have worked. Melismata, I think we're going to be kickass 40-somethings.

On preview: rmless2 makes a good observation. Every time I go to the museum (or to an evening lecture on campus, or to the theater without my partner) I get cruised by some 40-ish fox or another. It might help to change your venue some.

Elsa: Actually, you're right. I went to speeddating and it was creepy. Just wish I knew WHERE to find these men!

We'll definitely kickass--I make homemade bread too, MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

Happy Birthday, Melismata!!!!!!!!!!!

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I say go with the 40-somethings; they are not all going to fit a specific demographic, and the conversation should be more compatible. After all, if you are in the group and don't reflect a narrow profile, there should be others who are also outliers. Also, 39 is a great age. I wish I could still claim it (and did, for quite a few years :))

I think we are all way too hung up about what it's supposed to mean, demographically, to have lived for a certain number of years. There's a long long stretch of undifferentiated adulthood during which you can do, if not anything, at least most things you want to. The numbers flipping over don't signify a whole lot once you and your friends have finished high school.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY a day late.