I was talking about this article with my mom this morning, and she posits that the biggest reason conflict between these couples is so different is something the article mentioned - that there are no preordained/societally-reinforced gender roles in a same-sex relationship. I think this would surprise those out there who imagine that same-sex relationships echo heterosexual ones in having "male"-oriented and "female"-oriented partners.

Yeah, I mean, the whole "lack of societally-reinforced gender roles" thing all seems logical and expected *to me*, but I don't know, it made me happy to read. Look! Gay partnerships are not destroying the fabric of society and devaluing the "sanctity of marriage"! In fact, they are suggested as a kind of role model!

I totally read that as "Gay unicorns."

I found the article interesting when I read it this morning but I'm not sure I agree with the following: "With same-sex couples, of course, none of these dichotomies were possible." Such dichotomies might be rarer than in opposite-sex couples but both logically and from my own experience I don't think they're impossible.

Heh, I clicked on the link expecting an article about gay labor unions. I was a little disappointed.

Interesting, but i wish it were a longer article. It skirted too quickly over some issues for my liking. I want to know more. In more detail.

I like this article, because I imagine all the anti-equality folks just shakin' in their boots with fear over the next generation. "Oh no! same-sex couples will have lower divorce rates than us heteros, tempting normally-straight people to ... ummm ... divorce their opposite-gendered spouse and shack up with a same-gendered person! These same-gendered couples might raise kids who haven't been completely indoctrinated into patriarchal gender roles! Lions will lie down with lambs! It's the death-knell of hetero marriage! Capitalism will be destroyed! Oh noes! We must stop this at all costs!"

:) It makes me giggle :)

I must admit, I'm a little jealous. :-)

"When I look at what’s happening in California, I think there’s a lot to be learned to explore how human beings relate to one another,” said Sondra E. Solomon, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Vermont. "How people care for each other, how they share responsibility, power and authority — those are the key issues in relationships.”

Aha, so maybe there's something to the bigots' fears that gay marriage will change the institution of marriage after all!

What's the matter with gay onions, again?

This American Life had an episode called "The Sanctity of Marriage" a few years ago. At the end of Act 1, they touch on this a little bit. Not incredibly in depth due, especially, to the size and length of the study, but if they're able to pull off a longer one, it could prove incredibly interesting.

What's the matter with gay onions, again?

They brown too easily.

(sorry)

So this sanctity of marriage they are trying to protect is "the woman's place" in the marriage. i think i finally get it what they are all on about. What will they do without the subjugation of women? Laundry??

What will they do without the subjugation of women? Laundry??

eth for the win!

Well, the only problem with gay marraige is that it will lead to gay divorce, which will ultimately lead to gay divorcees.

Yeah, eth, your comment really gets at the heart of it -- thanks for that.

I have to say, I love being in the demographic that's the object of this sort of investigation. Makes me feel as important as I pretend to be.

There's another nuance to all of this, I think -- in my own experience, there are very few interactions in same-sex relationships that DON'T seem to involve some sort of quasi-gendered dynamic. E.g., one person has the better job, another is better at housework. One is shy, the other is gregarious. One likes fashion, the other doesn't know how to dress himself. One is good with money, the other loves to spend it. I guess the difference is that there's no societal expectation regarding who should take which role in each particular case. So, sometimes, I'm the breadwinner, but my partner's the sportsman. Sometimes I'm the one wanting to talk about my feelings, while he's the who gets excited about fashion and decorating our apartment. These stereotypical polarities still exist, but who is on one side or another of these polarities seems pretty fluid.