Oh man, I am so sorry. I've been there myself - I'll spare y'all the details, but I will mention that the volume of... matter I had to clean up was quite startling, given that it came from one old man. Gah, I'm getting queasy just thinking about it.

Stay strong, sister.

Plumbers snake.

aiiiii! Sorry, mgl!

but if you get good at this, I bet you could make super megabux as Asheville's midnight plumber

That totally sucks, I hope you get this fixed soon!

I am glad you mentioned the plumbing problems, otherwise they might conclude you were severely lactose intolerant :P

I once had raw sewage back up into my shower and flood my bathroom. I was renting a guest house in LA and someone in the main house flushed their toilet, causing a tidal wave of nightmarish backwash from hell to flood my living quarters (something about roots blocking the main drain and very non-code plumbing).

Fortunately, my boss was also my landlady, so I was excused from work that day.

Oh, man. Yikes. I wish I lived close enough to show up with a bottle of whiskey.

...and rubber gloves. For you. I just bartend, amiga. ;)

This does not sound like fun.

My kitchen sink has been clogged (again) since Sunday, and feeding a plumber's snake down the pipe for 15-20 feet has done nothing. You have my sympathies, though. Mine is still just a sink, even if I did have to disassemble the u-bend because of the useless disposal that still needs to be removed.

but if you get good at this, I bet you could make super megabux as Asheville's midnight plumber

Yep, she's the Midnight Plumber What Plumbs at Midnight.

When my wall fell over I emailed the pictures to my boss at midnight.
"you will note the snow in my living room. I'll see you next week."

Be glad you can do stuff for yourself, though. I think I'm worse than useless. The last time the toilet overflowed I screamed for my roommate and ran in a circle.

In one apartment I rented, I had the neighbor's waste come rocketing up the drain of my bathtub every three months. I'd bitch and the manager would call a plumber and then three months later, like clock work...

Gah.

Ack. The same root thing happened to us years ago when we lived in a house. Pretty damn foul smelling black gunk from hell, yes.

Does your boss have a sense of humor, mgl? Best wishes for de-stinking and drying out.

I bet you could make super megabux as Asheville's midnight plumber

And I'd totally be that guy in the commercial, trying to back up his toilet so the lady plumber will come pay him a visit.

UGH!! So sorry, mgl... I hope you're asleep now (8:30 am) instead of reading this with bleach-scented hands on the keyboard.

What an awful way to spend a night!

I hope your landlord can do something to help with the recurring problem. Course, that would mean you'd have to tidy up before the landlord came over too... boo! There's never a good answer to these things. Argh!

Is it in the house, or the sewer line, or what?

Sorry to hear this (but I totally look forward to reading about it in your blog, which never fails to make me laugh or snarf whatever beverage I'm drinking).

Hey y'all. Thanks for the kind wishes and shared experiences of plumbing hell. Gah. I'm starting to really, really hate this house.

The toilet is still not fixed and I'm sitting here waiting for the landlord to call. Silver linings though - I did run into fellow mefite lazaruslong, who's working at the hippie bakery where I went to use the bathroom and allow myself to be guilted into a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin. I have no idea what's wrong with the toilet. My mad plumbing skillz extend to Liquid Plum-R and a plunger (and, this time, to bailing and mopping and bailing and mopping and jesus christ almighty, you do not want to know and then I had to basically soak myself in bleach.) and no further. At this point, and also given that the bathtub is barely draining as well, I'm thinking it's probably roots or something in the house main drain, which I know from friends is just going to be this awesome, amazing totally out of this world experience.
ARRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aw, mgl.

The toilet in my parents' house used to back up and overflow, and so I get nightmares about overflowing toilets sometimes.

But if it's roots, it's on the landlord's dime. . .even if that extends to replacing the line.

This has been a very valuable source of info for me, over the years. The first thing it taught me is that any toilet can handle a single flush, even if it is stopped up. But any repeat flushes will then bring about a need for cleanup.

I hope you are back in "business" soon, mgl.

Whiskey and sewage is a bad combination.

Not so bad if you add crushed ice, though.

Mere words cannot convey my deepest sympathy. You need a few more pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, and some ice cream. When it's all done, get some really nice smelling shampoo or body wash, to take your mind(nose?) off the bleach, and the things the bleach got rid of.