I once saw a sign in a supermarket bulletin board saying "Lost parrot. Answers to "george." I can only imagine if I saw him. "Hey, george!" "Hey george!" "Come Back Here!" "Come Back Here!" and then I'd have to start flapping my arms to go after him...

I really hope that in a year or two this isn't like a parrot that would say "Gary Hart's my man!".

So those rumors about him and birds were actually true? Man, what a freak.

rrrrup!

Oh, also a good opportunity for a parrot joke.

A woman walks to the subway on her way to work every day. On her walk, she has to pass a pet store. One nice day in spring, she notices a perch placed outside the store with a bright green parrot on it. Just as she passes by, the parrot says "Hey, Lady."

She turns to look at him.

"Fuck you," he says.

The woman's jaw drops in shock and outrage. What a rude parrot! Whatever. She turns and continues down the street.

Next day as she approaches, she can see the parrot out there again. She considers crossing the street but isn't going to put out of her way by a dumb parrot. She walks by, and he's quiet, but just after she passes he says, "Hey, Lady!" Despite herself, she turns just in time to see him level one eye at her and say "Fuck you."

On the third day, the parrot is waiting for her again. Once she gets close she can almost feel his evil glee. As she passes by, he says real quick "Hey lady, fuck you!"

That's enough of that. The lady storms into the shop, demands to see the owner, and rips him a new one. "I'm just trying to walk to work and I don't need to be harrassed by your stupid bird. I don't what kind of game you think you're playing, teaching a parrot to say that to people."

The shopkeeper apologizes effusively and walks out the sidewalk, where he proceeds to give the parrot a profane dressing-down like none ever heard. "If you ever, ever say "fuck" you to this lady or any other lady, it's the roasting pan for you, you little schmuck!"

The woman walks off satisfied. The next day on her way to work, she sees a very subdued parrot sitting there, and walks by smiling smugly. But then she hears quietly

"Hey, lady....you know."

Oh, that parrot joke,
that's so fucking funny.
loved it./

still killing myself laughing, thanks.