Shit indeed. Hugs are all I can offer scody. Wishing your dad well.

Fpr what it's worth, "not good" does not always mean "bad". That's not much to go on, I know, but I have seen this to be true. Here's hoping for the best.

Arrgh. Scody, that sucks the worst. I imagine it's not going to be easy for you to get any sleep tonight. Sending all my wishes for better news ASAP.

Yrrr, scody! *big hugs*

thanks, you guys.

God, whatever it is, it just sucks -- my dad's health has been bad for awhile (he developed severe ulcerative colitis and nearly died about 8 years ago), but this past 6 months or so he was finally starting to feel good again. He even called the other day before the bf and I went down to Laguna Beach this week (I took my first full week off since 2005!) to ask me to scout out some galleries for him (as some folks may know, my dad's a painter), as he's been getting a lot of work done these days and has been feeling really positive.

Oh god. Part of my anxiety is that my mom does not cope well in bad situations; it's often up to my sister or me to handle it. Except that now, my sister and my mom pretty much have stopped speaking. Guess who that leaves?

And did I mention that as far as I can tell, they have no will, no trust, no life insurance, and no long-term care insurance? In fact, the last time I talked to my mom about any of this (a few months ago, the latest in a series of related conversations stretching back 15 years), I asked her what plans they had for any long-term illnesses and, eventually, their own deaths.

Her chipper response was that they'd decided I'll take care of everything.

Oh my god. I knew shit like this was probably going to happen and it would probably be on my shoulders to take care of, but I kind of thought it wouldn't be for at least a few years yet.

I know: cart, don't get ahead of the horse.

And bmarkey's right: maybe it's not so bad. I'll just have to wait till morning.

Good luck. My Dad was diagnosed with it recently too: he hasn't had treatment yet.

Prostate cancer is a very slow-growing cancer as cancers go. It's very treatable too if it's diagnosed early. Lots of men get it and are cured, in some others it spreads so slowly they literally die of old age before it does any harm. Don't panic, just wait till you've heard what the doctors say.

Wikipedia, NHS direct.

Prostate cancer is very treatable in a lot of cases. There are new advances every day.

My uncle has some kind of kidney cancer.
He apparently had it removed or dealt with or something, didn't tell anyone, and then didn't follow up afterwards for a year.
i don't understand this part at all.
i don't know if it was massive denial or incredible negligence on someone's part.
He's currently going through a long series of chemotherapy treatments.

My point is even with this ridiculous extreme of fuckedupedness, he's still got a course of action in action.
Life's crazy like that.

Stressing out waiting will help nothing.
Go zone out on something or make dough.
i think i'm gonna throw together a pizza dough.
i do realize many people thing predawn dough making is weird if you are not a baker.

thin(g=k)
i do this all the time.

Prostate cancer is a very slow-growing cancer as cancers go. It's very treatable too if it's diagnosed early.

That's great to hear -- thank you. I think I know what my mantra will be thru the night!

i do realize many people thing predawn dough making is weird if you are not a baker.

Heh. It actually makes complete and perfect sense to me. I don't think I've got any yeast, though, so please make a batch for me!

Thanks again for all the good thoughts.

Don't panic scody! My dad was diagnosed about a year ago and I felt much the same way as you, but he's trying a somewhat experimental radiation therapy where they've implanted some radioactive pellets in his prostate and is doing absolutely fine (except when he needs to piss he has to go RIGHT NOW). He was asymptomatic before diagnosis.

My best wishes to you and your family.

From my meager knowledge (mostly from an uncle who went through it years ago and survived fairly well until something else killed him) prostate cancer is among the LEAST scary versions of the Big C.

Right now, my own aging father is dealing with a skin cancer of he-won't-tell-me level of seriousness (he knows I'm not currently capable of caregiving for him, so he's just maximizing my guilt). Ah, fathers. Makes me so glad I never tried to become one.

And remember that "Time to make the doughnuts" guy? He never seemed stressed...

Dammit, I'm sorry to hear this.

Oh scody. Big hugs to you, unless you're sleeping well right now, which would be preferable.

Do your parents have friends whose advice they respect...and who they would be willing to listen about life plan issues?

What happened with my godparents is that Uncle Robert died intestate, so everything went to my godmother. She made up a will, appointed my father executor, then died six weeks later. It took Daddy six years to untangle the mess.

Your poor thing. Sounds like a burden you could do without.

My dad's been having problems with his prostate for years now. While not cancerous, it was restricting his urine flow and he had to have what he refers to as a "re-bore". Twice, in fact, as the first time didn't give him enough room. He eventually ended up having a semi-chemo treatment to shrink the bastard. In the mean time he's had kidney failure, a heart-murmur and borderline diabetes. He's 80 this year, still mows his 1 acre lawn and is the deaf and grumpy old so-and-so that we know and love.

The point I'm trying to make is that bad news is not always cancer. And treatment not always surgery.

Frankly, I'd be more concerned with the lack of planning that they have - but then advance-planning and advance-worrying are family specialities for me.

(((scody)))

scody, how stressful. If it's any comfort my husband's uncle had prostate cancer last fall. He's in remission now. All is well at this time. Good health to your dad.

*hugs*

My grandfather had prostate cancer 10 years ago and he's still doing OK. He has other problems, like diabetes, but the cancer has stayed in remission.

My best wishes to you and your family.

Oh, scody, I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs, and I notice there's lots of great encouragement and advice here, too. I just want to second this:

Don't panic, just wait till you've heard what the doctors say.

As I have reminded myself in your shoes, don't borrow trouble. Wait and see what actual trouble there is, if you can.

Hugging you.

Nothing I can say that other people haven't already said better, so ::hugs::

(((scody)))

Many hugs and much respect, you're in my awesome person on the internets file and i hope you and your family come through this ok.

Thanks again for all the good wishes, everyone. It really does help!

Talked to mom. It appears to be a fairly aggressive form, but they don't know yet if it's spread past the prostate itself; a scan on Monday is supposed to give a better indication of what stage it's in, at which point they'll figure out a treatment plan.

And I did get her to promise that they'll finally make an appointment to draw up a will and trust, though I expect to have to follow up with her to make sure they'll do it. Like ninazer0 says, in some ways, it's the lack of planning that scares the shit out of me more than cancer itself!

Fingers crossed for Monday.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX(crossed fingers for scody's dad)XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My dad was also diagnosed with prostate cancer; don't know anything other than that as we don't have a relationship.

One of my good friends (in her 70's) told me that her husband was diagnosed 10 plus years ago, and he's been "actively watched" since. It is treatable, so please let yourself breathe. You'll know more Monday. (And I also know it's easier said than done. Worry is what we do. But I've come to realize that worrying won't help/stop/fix anything. So breathe.)