GAH THAT SUCKS MGL!!!

I'M TIRED AND OUR AC IS BROKEN AT HOME, WHICH MEANS I'VE HAD TO SLEEP WITH THE WINDOWS OPEN AND I'M TIRED! BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE OUR NEW COFFEE MAKER AND MY COWORKER TOLD ME THAT IF I SCREW IT UP AND SPILL ANY, THE UNIT SHUTS DOWN AND AUTO-CONNECTS TO A TECHNICIAN TO SEE IF IT'S MISCALIBRATED AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THE FIRST PERSON TO MAKE IT DO THAT! I MUST BE GETTING OLD IF I'M AFRAID OF A COFFEE MAKER! AHHHH!

I HATE THIS STUPID COMPUTER! I HATE VISTA! I HATE OFFICE 2007! I HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE TODAY!

I HAD THE EXACT OPPOSITE PROBLEM FROM MGL THIS MORNING! LAST NIGHT MY APARTMENT WAS KINDA STUFFY SO JUST BEFORE I WENT TO BED I PUT A BOX FAN IN THE WINDOW, AND WHEN I WOKE UP THE TEMPERATURE IN MY BEDROOM WAS 54°!!! IT WAS NOT CONDUCIVE TO GETTING OUT OF BED!!!!

I SPENT A RESTLESS NIGHT THRASHING AND GROANING IN HORROR. TOO MUCH SHAKESPEARE, I GUESS --- I DREAMED THAT A HOCKEY-PLAYING MACBETH WAS CHASING ME THROUGH AN UNFAMILIAR COLLEGE ICE RINK AND ADJOINING SPORTS ARENA.

THE MAN DOES THIS THING WHEN MY CELLPHONE GOES WHITE SCREEN OR BLACK SCREEN AFTER CHARGING (WHATS UP WITH THAT?). I SWEAR HE SAID "JUST PRESS THE WORLD BUTTON." BUT THERE MUST BE ANOTHER KEY TO HOLD DOWN TOO. I HOLD THE BLUE BUTTON AND NOTHING HAPPENS. WHY DO I CARE? I CAN'T FIND MY MOM. SHES NOT IN THE HOSPITAL. I CAN'T FIND MY BROTHER. NO GOOD PHONE #, NO RESPONSE TO EMAILS. I GUESS SHES BACK AT THE FACILITY. I SHOULD CALL THEIR DESK, I GUESS. BUT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A LONG DISTANCE CALL FROM MY DESK. MOM? YOU OUT THERE? HEY MOOOOOOOM!

AT 5.00PM TODAY I MAY BE OFF TO BUY AN XBOX 360. I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT. GTA4, HERE I COME. QUESTION IS, DO I ALSO BUY THE FOLLOWING :

- BIOSHOCK
- KATAMARI
- HALO 3

ALSO... I THINK THE REASON XML PROGRAMMING GETS SO COMPLICATED SO QUICKLY IS BECAUSE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THE INHERENT SIMPLICITY OF XML. ANYONE WHO TRYS TO DEFINE A SOLUTION IN TERMS OF TRANSFORMS IS PROBABLY TRYING TO BULLSHIT YOU OR RIP YOU OFF.

ELSA - I DREAMED THE END OF THE WORLD. THE NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST WAS BEAUTIFUL AND SILENT, BUT THANKS TO THE ABORIGINAL GUIDE WE HAD A PLAN WHICH INVOLVED A JOURNEY AND AN UNPOLLUTED WATERFALL. THEY SOLD CRISPS WITH TOMATO SAUCE AS FOOD IN PUBLIC HOUSES. PEOPLE STILL WATCHED TELEVISION. THE DREAM WAS POPULATED WITH PEOPLE I ONCE KNEW & NOBODY I CURRENTLY KNOW.

omg. MacBethCapades. It could make us all rich. RICH I TELL YOU! RIIIICH!

I WAS AWAKENED AT 2AM BY A GODDAMN THUNDERSTORM. I WAS EXHAUSTED FROM 2 HARD DAYS IN A ROW ON THE BIKE AND AT WORK, AND I VERY MUCH NEEDED MY SLEEP, NOT TO BE SHOT BOLT AWAKE OUT OF BED AT 2AM BY SOME ORNERY FUCKING THUNDERSTORM. AREN'T YOU GUYS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING YOUR THUNDERY THING AT LIKE, 5PM AND GIVING THE RUSH HOUR COMMUTERS GRIEF?! DAMN THING WOKE THE MISTER UP TOO, SO THEN WE SPENT THE NEXT 2 HOURS TRYING TO GET BACK TO SLEEP...

TPS, VISTA IS THE TOOL OF SATAN. DEFENESTRATE THE BLOODY THING, YOU'LL FEEL SO, SO MUCH BETTER!!!

I NEED A STAPLER THAT DOESN'T SUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

ACK MGL! SWEATING IS GOOD BUT NOT WHILE WORKING! CRAZY HVAC CRAP!

VISTA DOES SUCK. A LOT.

NOT SLEEPING SUCKS ALSO!

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A WITHDRAWAL FROM OUR HOME EQUITY LINE AGAIN. I'M IN A WORK DROUGHT AND FREAKING OUT.

SEANYBOY - KATAMARI CHANGED MY LIFE! BUY KATAMARI! YOU'LL NEVER LOOK AT A ROW OF CONSTRUCTION CONES THE SAME WAY AGAIN! (I've also heard good things about bioshock).

TRYING TO GET WIFE A CELLPHONE. WHEN MINE WAS STOLEN IN DECEMBER, THE CHEAPEST WAY I COULD REPLACE IT WAS TO BUY ANOTHER LINE, HENCE GET A FREE PHONE. I FOUND A SOURCE OF USED ONES, SUPPOSEDLY SET UP FOR MY CARRIER, BUT THE ONE I BOUGHT IS LOCKED, APPARENTLY BY THE FORMER USER, AND WHO KNOWS THE CODE? IT CAME WITH THE OLD SIM CARD BUT IT STILL WANTS SOME SORT OF CODE IN ORDER TO DO ANYTHING THAT WOULD LEAD IT TO ACCEPT MY SIM CARD.

I ONLY PAID $10 FOR IT BUT STILL!

oh god. BIOSHOCK ROCKED MY WORLD AND ATE MY MONTH OF APRIL. (and now I'm playing it again)

MGL: IT'S 30 DEGREES IN MY OFFICE (IT'S ONLY 50 OUTSIDE, WHY IS THE AIR CONDITIONING ON?!?!?) AND MY FINGERNAILS ARE BLUE AND MY NOSE IS RUNNING. I WISH I COULD RUN A HOSE INTO YOUR OFFICE FROM MINE.

OMG NO SLEEP BECAUSE I CHECKED OUT HEROES FIRST SEASON AND I WATCHED THE. WHOLE. THING. STRAIGHT. THROUGH.

WELL ALMOST. I FELL ASLEEP SUNDAY AT EPISODE 18 AND WATCHED THE REST LAST NIGHT.

AND I JUST FOUND OUT A FRIEND AT WORK HAS GONE INTO HOSPICE CARE, AND I NEED TO INFORM ANOTHER FRIEND THAT'S OUT SICK TODAY. GODDAMIT.

MY BRAIN HURTS!

EVERYONE IN MY OFFICE HAS DELICIOUS SMELLING FOOD FOR LUNCH BUT I HAVE NONE BECAUSE TODAY IS MY SHORT DAY AND THERE IS NOTHING BUT SUCKY FOOD AT HOME AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE THE MONEY OR THE PATIENCE TO TRY AND PURCHASE/FIND TASTY FOOD.

I'M CRANKY THAT TODAY IS MY SHORT DAY AND THAT I HAVE TO GO HOME TO DEAL WITH MY PISSY MOTHER. AND THAT I HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY AND SHOWER AND I'M SURE SHE WILL BE SUPER CRANKY BECAUSE OMG YOU'RE BREATHING IN MY HOUSE.

I CAME OUT OF MY ALL-DAY INTERVIEW YESTERDAY FEELING REALLY GOOD, BUT OF COURSE NOW THAT I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT I AM STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER! GAH! I JUST HOPE THEY GET BACK TO ME ONE WAY OR ANOTHER FAIRLY SOON, SO I CAN PUT IT BEHIND ME, OR START MAKING PLANS.

To the A/C sufferers: my cow-orkers and I used to use file folders to block or otherwise redirect A/C flow that wasn't to our liking. Perhaps that's a solution for one or both of you? We would tuck the sides into the frames that held up the ceiling tiles. You might have to use tape or thumbtacks if you have solid ceilings.

THIS IS A LONG SHOUT. JUST WARNING YOU.

THOSE OF US WHO WORK FROM HOME HAVE BEEN TOLD ABOUT A NEW POLICY, AS FOLLOWS:

- YOU HAVE TO SET YOUR VOICEMAIL TO SAY YOU'RE WORKING FROM HOME.

- BUT YOU ALSO HAVE TO CHECK YOUR VOICEMAIL REMOTELY FROM HOME AND CALL BACK ANYBODY WHO'S LEFT A MESSSAGE.

THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM FOR SEVERAL REASONS:

- FIRST, IT'LL CONFUSE PEOPLE. THEY'VE HAD THE MESSAGE THAT YOU'RE WORKING FROM HOME. THEY'RE NOT EXPECTING A CALL UNTIL YOU'RE BACK IN THE OFFICE. SO THEY'LL REALISE YOU'RE CALLING FROM HOME. AND THIS LEADS TO THE NEXT POINT ...

- SECONDLY, ALL OUR CALLS IN THE OFFICE ARE RECORDED. WE ARE REGULARLY ACCUSED BY SOME OF THE VERY ANGRY AND DIFFICULT PEOPLE WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH OF LYING, AND IT'S EASY ENOUGH TO PULL THE CALL UP FROM THE RECORDED CALLS. THERE IS NO SUCH FACILITY IF YOU CALL FROM HOME. AS MY ORGANISATION IS INCREASINGLY SHIFTING TOWARDS A 'CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT' SCENARIO, WE ARE WORRIED THAT WE WILL BE LEFT EXPOSED IN THIS SITUATION. IF PEOPLE KNOW WE ARE ON OUR HOME PHONE, THERE ARE THOSE THAT WILL MANIPULATE THIS SITUATION AND GENERATE A COMPLAINT OUT OF IT.

- THIRDLY, IF YOU CALL SOMEONE AND THEY'RE NOT THERE, ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YOUR HOME NUMBER FOR THEM TO CALL BACK? I THINK NOT!

THIS POLICY HAS BEEN INTRODUCED WITHOUT CONSULTATION AND WITH NO INDICATION OF WHAT SUPPORT (IF ANY, AND PROBABLY NONE) WE WILL GET IN THE EVENT OF SOMEONE ACCUSING US OF LYING IN A PHONE CALL. SOMETIMES OUR CALLERS ARE SO ABUSIVE THAT IT CAN BE VERY UPSETTING AND I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT ON MY OWN AT HOME. AND I HAVE NEVER EVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT THEY CAN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH ME. IF PEOPLE KNOW YOU'LL BE BACK ON A CERTAIN DAY, THEY'LL EITHER LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU TO CALL ON THAT DAY, OR THEY'LL JUST HANG UP AND CALL BACK ON THE DAY YOU'RE IN THE OFFICE.

I HAVE RAISED THIS AND OTHER CONCERNS (MOSTLY ABOUT THE FAILURE OF THE ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF TO COMPLETE THEIR TASKS BEFORE PASSING THE FILES OVER TO US, WHICH CAUSES BIG PROBLEMS AT OUR STAGE OF THE PROCESS) WITH MY MANAGER AND HE IS A COMPLETE APOLOGIST FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT DOING THEIR DAMN JOB RIGHT. NEVER ONCE IN THE 7 YEARS HE HAS BEEN MY MANAGER HAVE I EVER RAISED SOMETHING WITH HIM AND HAVE HIM SAY "YES, YOU'RE RIGHT, I'LL TAKE THIS UP FOR YOU WITH [WHOEVER]". MY TEAM MATES HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH HIM. HE IS WEAK AND INEFFECTUAL AND GIVES US NO SUPPORT WHATSOEVER.

BUT I AM NOT BACK IN THE OFFICE UNTIL TUESDAY! I HAVE A HEADACHE, WHICH I THINK IS SUN-RELATED. I AM NOT USED TO SUN EXPOSURE.


IT IS REACHING THE POINT WHERE I THINK I MAY NEED TO FIND ANOTHER JOB.

ESSEXJAN NEEDS ANOTHER JOB FOR SURE! YOUR BOSSES ARE SERIOUS CURRIED SHITPEAS! BUNNYLAW PLC! ALSO YOU SHOULD WRITE A COOKBOOK (ENTITLED OM NOM NOM)!

I HAS A NEW HAIRDO IT IS AWESOME!

SPENT THE MORNING PHOTOGRAPHING THE DMV STAFF, STANDING ON THEIR COUNTERS WITH MY CAMERA AND DEMANDING THEY YELL "PENIS!" IT WAS MORE FUN THAN I EXPECTED AND I REALLY HOPE THE SHOTS CAME OUT GOOD AND IN FOCUS.

BTGOG, glad you like your new 'do

BUT I AM EXCEEDINGLY GRUMPY BECAUSE MY EYE, MY MESSED UP EYE, WHICH HAD BEEN GETTING AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT BETTER, GOT A WHOLE LOT WORSE YESTERDAY. I AM TIRED OF DEALING WITH MY EYE FUCKERY. 2008 IS OFFICIALLY THE YEAR THAT SUCKS. WHEN I LOOK BACK UPON IT IN MY DOTAGE, I WILL SAY, "2008 WAS THE YEAR OF THE FUCK. 2008 WAS THE YEAR THAT BIT MAJOR DONKEY BALLS. 2008 WAS THE YEAR I WISHED I HAD SLEPT THROUGH". THAT IS, IF I MAKE IT TO MY DOTAGE, GIVEN THAT I EVIDENTLY HAVE MORE AND MORE BLOOD POOLING UP BEHIND MY RETINA, I MAY JUST STROKE OUT ONE OF THESE DAYS.

Deep sigh.

But one of my very best friends is on her way to visit me right now, and since we haven't actually been face to face in six months, and we don't really talk on the phone (we live in different countries), I am going to sit down, light a cigarette or two, tip back a glass of wine and share my fucked up story with her tonight. There is at least that.

I GOT UP THIS MORNING CRAVING COFFEE AFTER SEVERAL WEEKS OF DRINKING ICED TEA!! CLEANED THE COFFEE MAKER FROM THE LAST TIME GF HAD USED IT (COUPLE WEEKS AGO), POURED THE WATER, TIPPED IN THE GROUNDS, FLIPPED THE SWITCH! BUT THE SWITCH! IT WAS BROKEN!! ARGH!!

SO I DECIDED TO HAVE ICED TEA! BUT THE ICED TEA! IT WAS STRANGELY CLOUDY! PARANOID OF GETTING SOME SORT OF TEA POISONING, I THREW IT OUT!

MY CHOICES THEN WERE FRENCH PRESS COFFEE (WHICH I DO NOT ALWAYS ENJOY) AND MAKING A NEW BATCH OF ICED TEA (WHICH WOULD MELT MY MEAGER SUPPLY OF ICE). IT WAS VERY FRUSTRATING!!

ALSO, I PREPARED TO DISASSEMBLE THE COFFEE MAKER TO SEE IF I COULD FIX THE SWITCH, BUT THE SCREWS ARE SOME WEIRD TWO-HOLE JOBBIES FOR WHICH I DO NOT HAVE A SCREWDRIVER! I BELIEVE I WILL BE THROWING THE COFFEE MAKER AWAY, AND THIS MAKES ME PISSY!

BONUS: STILL NO JOB CALLS!!!

APPARENTLY IN MY RUSH TO GET OUT THE DOOR TO THE DMV PHOTO SHOOT THIS MORNING I FORGOT THE POWER CABLE FOR MY DEEP FRYER. I REMEMBERED THE FLOUR AND SALT AND BAKING POWDER AND EVEN THE FREAKING ROLLING PIN, BUT NOT THE POWER CORD. NO SOPAPILLAS FOR POTLUCK TODAY, AND DAMMIT I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO FRIED BREAD. GRRR!

GO AWAY THUNDERSTORMS YOU ARE FUCKING UP MY LUNCH BREAK!!!

ALSO: THOSE WHO TEXT WHILST DRIVING ARE MINDLESS SELF-ABSORBED TWATS WHO DESERVE DEATH BY FIRING SQUAD. THAT IS ALL.

The weird two-hole jobbies probably need a spanner, but you will probably be able to make do with tweezers or needlenose pliers.

(Also, I'm led to believe that putting the hot tea directly into the refrigerator can lead to cloudiness.)

Thanks, box.

if you really can't get the screws undone (and have a drill), drill the heads off, then you can use pliers to unscrew the shaft of the screws and replace them with normal screws after fixing the switch. it sounds like a lot of work, but shouldn't take too long.

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF TRYING TO FINISH ASSIGNMENTS EVERY FUCKING NIGHT AND HAVING NO MOTIVATION BUT, IF I DON'T GET THEM FINISHED, I WILL BE IN TROUBLE AT WORK.

IT SEEMS THAT I HAVE NOT EVEN GOT AN INTERVIEW FOR THE JOB I APPLIED FOR, BECAUSE MY BOSS HAS BLOCKED OUT ALL OF TODAY TO DO INTERVIEWS AND I HAVEN'T BEEN TOLD. IF SHE IS PLANNING SOME KIND OF LAST-MINUTE SURPRISE INTERVIEW DEAL, I WILL BE FUCKED. THE JEANS AND T-SHIRT THAT I WORE TO WORK TODAY DON'T REALLY SCREAM "MAKE ME A PRINCIPAL AUDITOR BECAUSE I'M SO SKILLED AND PROFESSIONAL".

I HAVE TO FINISH ANOTHER JOB APPLICATION BY MONDAY - WHY CAN'T THE PUBLIC SERVICE BE MORE LIKE THE PRIVATE SECTOR WHERE YOUR BOSS CAN JUST GIVE YOU A PROMOTION BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON FOR THE JOB INSTEAD OF HAVING TO MAKE EVERYONE GO THROUGH THE FUCKING FULL MERIT SELECTION PROCESS?

IT'S COLD AND THE TRAIN'S HEATING DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE BEEN TURNED ON - IT'S THAT WEIRD TIME OF YEAR WHEN THEY HAVEN'T SWITCHED FROM AIRCON TO HEATING OR SOME SHIT.

OMG - VIDEO GAME HEADACHE.
BIOSHOCK RULES.

I'M TIRED BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP. MR. V CAN'T SLEEP EITHER, SO WE TOSS AND TURN AND KEEP EACH OTHER AWAKE. STRESS.

ALSO, MY BOSS HAS BEEN WHIPPING ME AT WORK. (no not literally, but it certainly feels that way). WHEN I GET MAD, HE SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, BUT THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. I ONLY HAVE ONE PAIR OF HANDS. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M SO VALUABLE. IT'S A CURSE, I TELL YOU.