MetaChat - Let's go on an imaginary shopping trip.

I would buy TPS a Sweet Valley High paperback. It would have to be The Wrong Kind of Girl, because I like the title and the girl on the cover resembles TPS.

posted by LoriFLA 01 May | 11:48

OOohhhh I would buy LoriFLA coffees (or other beverage of her choice), so we could just sit and chat in the sun somewhere, hanging out of an afternoon.

posted by gaspode 01 May | 12:01

Annie Whitman! She tries to kill herself after Jessica blackballs her from the cheerleading squad because she thinks Annie is a slut. How Jessica isn't also a slut by the same standards, I don't know, she's out with a different guy all the time, too. And then the doctor is like, Jessica, you must let her on the cheerleading squad, it's the only cure.

I would buy LoriFLA a big bunch of tulips in a pretty vase, that could be put on a high table or shelf, far from the reach of puppies and little boys.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 May | 12:02

gaspode! I would buy gaspode a silly pregnancy t-shirt- something with an arrow that points to the stomach that says something clever.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 May | 12:02

I would get tps some pink booties for that little dog. I live in 1954, so they would be under $10.

posted by jessamyn 01 May | 12:04

I would buy the fixin's for a big batch of biscotti. I'd bake 'em, pack 'em in a tin, and bring them to Jessamyn with a big glass jar of lemonade. She can enjoy them after a swim.

posted by Elsa 01 May | 12:07

I would get Elsa some actual Swiss cheese. (Since I can't get more red velvet cake and pizza for ten bucks.)

posted by mykescipark 01 May | 12:10

I would get mykescipark some really cool bike reflectors. Or maybe some chia seeds to put in his protein shake.
(You can really learn a lot about someone from their posts!)

posted by rmless2 01 May | 12:16

I would get rmless2 some fresh hummus, pita, and olives.

posted by grouse 01 May | 12:19

I would get grouse the best bottle of wine $10 can buy.

posted by altolinguistic 01 May | 12:23

I would buy the materials to make chocolate muffins for altolinguistic.

posted by casarkos 01 May | 12:25

casarkos is now the proud owner of a ukulele and a bottle of Aperol.

posted by -t 01 May | 12:28

i would buy minus tee a propeller hat, just because :)

posted by lonefrontranger 01 May | 12:33

I would buy lfr some old-fashioned bicycle clips for her pants.

posted by goo 01 May | 12:40

I would buy lfr a tube of 45 spf sunscreen, for long rides.

posted by danf 01 May | 12:40

I would buy danf a bottle of really good hair product for his newly shorn look.

posted by WolfDaddy 01 May | 12:46

I would buy WoldDaddy a pretty and unusual plant for his garden.

posted by Specklet 01 May | 12:48

I would buy Specklet a pair of UK knickers.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 May | 12:53

i would buy Specklet condoms.

posted by ethylene 01 May | 12:53

i would buy TPS pink cloth for a pink cape.

posted by ethylene 01 May | 12:54

(since goo's post was lost in the shuffle, I would get her 5 GBP worth of London subway passes.)

posted by danf 01 May | 12:55

(That would take her one station down, or up, the line, danf, as it's £4 to go one stop).

I would buy danf a clip-on nylon ponytail. A red one.

posted by essexjan 01 May | 13:05

I would buy essexjan...ten dollars worth of cilantro.

Because SHE likes it.

posted by bunnyfire 01 May | 13:12

I would buy bunnyfire a Hillary Clinton campaign button. I can tell by her frequent posts that she's a real fan :-P

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 May | 13:31

ThePinkSuperHero. I'd get here a pink-headed troll hairpin!

posted by Stewriffic 01 May | 13:35

I would buy stewriffic one of those travel candles in a tin.

posted by LoriFLA 01 May | 13:44

I would buy LoriFLA a big ass slice of chocolate cake from the bakery down the street. Because she is so worth it.

posted by rhapsodie 01 May | 13:46

LoriFLA gets some Buddy Biscuits for the pup, and since ethylene got skipped over, I'll get her a used baseball bat for dealing with rambunctious tweens.

posted by bmarkey 01 May | 13:47

I think I'd try getting rhapsodie some cool hemp hair tie things. Yup.

posted by richat 01 May | 13:48

Now, bmarkey I'd have to dig through some cool old used vinyl shops and find a copy of Bad Habits, by the Monks.

posted by richat 01 May | 13:49

I'd get richat Face Paints For Men.

posted by rainbaby 01 May | 13:55

I'd wait until it went on sale, and then I'd get rainbaby this Super Mario Singing Glow Star.

Actually, I just want that for myself.

posted by rhapsodie 01 May | 14:05

In that case, I'd buy rhapsodie the on-sale Super Mario Singing Glow Star, and a bag of tootsie rolls for good behavior.

posted by dismas 01 May | 14:18

I'd get dismas a copy of Penetrating Wagner's "Ring"! (I don't even care that it's more than $10.)

posted by scody 01 May | 14:53

I'd like to buy scody a make-your-own music box! I wonder if she could find a short enough loop of Wagner to program it with! *shrug!*

posted by Ambrosia Voyeur 01 May | 15:05

oooo, and I'd buy scody a bunch of broccoli rabe and some fresh tomatoes from the farmer's market!

posted by lonefrontranger 01 May | 15:06

err, and I'd get Ambrosia Voyeur a bunch of cool seedlings for her new garden!

posted by lonefrontranger 01 May | 15:09

LFR is a no-brainer. I'd get her one of those bike horns that sounds like a goose, so that when she's riding around some curve she can go "HONK-EE HONK-EE" and everyone will get out of her way.

posted by mudpuppie 01 May | 15:21

mudpuppie gets ten bucks worth of Zoo Doo for her garden.

posted by bmarkey 01 May | 15:28

i would get bmarkey a gourmet sandwich as his break snack or a little squirt gun filled with booze.

posted by ethylene 01 May | 15:40

I think ethylene should receive a pocket full of sunshine - but nobody seems to sell it on ebay...

posted by mightshould 01 May | 15:51

It would make my pockets explodey.

posted by ethylene 01 May | 15:53

I'd buy mightshould one more conditional verb, for the trifecta.

posted by mudpuppie 01 May | 15:55

Oh, mudpuppie - if you could, maybe?

posted by mightshould 01 May | 16:07

I'd buy mudpuppie marigolds for her garden. I've read that they help repel certain pests from vegetables.

For mightshould..a tiny locket for a special photo.

posted by redvixen 01 May | 18:47

*buys redvixen a gravy boat*

(for all that meat she smuggles home. I'm onto you)

posted by jonmc 01 May | 18:55

I'd buy jonmc a $10 gift certificate to a big chain bookstore.

'Cause I'm evil like that.

posted by deborah 01 May | 19:09

I'd buy mudpuppie marigolds for her garden. I've read that they help repel certain pests from vegetables.

That's soooo freaky. I just returned from the garden, where I had two separate conversations about marigolds.

[**Multiple derail alert**]

There's this older woman who has several plots, so she's always there. She brings her dog, which is cool, because it means I get to pet a dog. But it's also very annoying, because she talks to the dog like she's carrying on a conversation with a person, and I end up saying, "Pardon?" And she says, "Oh, I was talking to Freckles." AND, she corrects you if you refer to Freckles as "a dog." Freckles is a puppy. Do not call Freckles a dog. She doesn't seem to realize that puppies, though young dogs, are still fucking dogs.

Anyhow, this woman and Freckles were at the garden, and the woman was doing her duty as busybody by circulating through and letting everyone know that a local nursery had left a big cache of marigolds at the front and that they were there for the taking. After she told me and we had marigold conversation #1, she went about 20 yards away to tell the African woman about the marigolds. The African woman does not speak English. So this old woman spent about 5 minutes futilely trying to rephrase her marigold pitch so that the African woman would understand. And in the way of the typical clueless, older American, she kept speaking louder and louder and using more and more words. It would have been comical, except the African woman was getting annoyed (and so was I).

Older woman finally said that she'd come back in a few minutes (after taking Freckles the Puppy on a walksie) to show the African woman HERSELF about these fabulous marigolds.

She came back after a bit and said to the African woman, "Come on with me now, I'll show you what I was talking about."

And the African woman, bless her heart, said "I. Don't. Want."

I wanted to applaud.

Marigold conversation #2 occurred 10 minutes later with another gardener and was completely unrelated. It was also completely uninteresting, so I won't recount it here.

So anyway, I'd, uh, buy deborah some flowers. But good ones. Not crappy flowers like marigolds.

posted by mudpuppie 01 May | 19:38

I'd get deborah a quilt made of bright vintage fabrics like this.

posted by Miko 01 May | 20:00

(I'm interjecting to say that I love jonmc. No offense, Pips.)

posted by redvixen 01 May | 20:23

A thrift-store mink stole (probably imitation, but you never know what you'll find at goodwill).

posted by treepour 01 May | 22:02

I would buy treepour a little silk bag to keep the love for the doggie.

posted by netbros 01 May | 22:31

I'd buy netbros a pair of croc knock-offs. I'd buy the genuine article, but that would break the $10 limit and rules are important.

*glares at scody*

posted by dg 01 May | 22:47

dg: a safari trip. 10 days on the savannah with attentive guides, every need anticipated, icy-cold drinks on the verandah of a Serengeti evening, not a care in the world. And some awesome stuff to post on Flickr later.

posted by Miko 01 May | 23:11

For Miko a sally ann store Clash Sandinista t-shirt cause she's so punk.

marigolds are my favorite flower

posted by arse_hat 01 May | 23:38

Some of you people can stretch $10 awful far (nudgenudgeMIKOnudgenudge).

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 02 May | 00:03

*retracts protest about $10 limit being broken*

For ThePinkSuperhero, a $10 voucher here.

posted by dg 02 May | 00:26

I buy this for dg, for when he's in one of his moods:

≡ Click to see image ≡

He can write the bad words on the tumtum, then, he can wash them off later and draw whuffles. Or dirty pictures.

posted by taz 02 May | 01:59

Buys taz a bright happy green puppy collar for future new doggie.

*crosses fingers, toes, legs, eyes, that the doggie does manage to make it's home with the tazes*

posted by mightshould 02 May | 07:16

Aw man, I missed the note about the limit.

Let's do a no-limit one someday!

posted by Miko 02 May | 08:47

Mups - good choice; marigolds are my least favourite flower.
Miko - I want that quilt!

posted by deborah 02 May | 12:11

Thanks danf! I'll put the £5 on my Oyster card and it will get me 5 rides on the bus.

posted by goo 02 May | 12:34

01 May 2008