MetaChat - I'm not actually doing very well.

It WILL get better. Time heals all wounds, even the superbly sucky ones that never should have been inflicted on you, like this one. *hug*

posted by BoringPostcards 01 May | 21:35

Well shit. That just sucks. Some things really don't ever get any easier, and this is definitely one of those things. Take care of yourself, OK?

As for Pandora, you could maybe seed a station with Patsy Cline. Or I could divshare some to you after work, if you want to have it right there on your computer. And if you were here in town I'd buy you a beer or twelve.

posted by bmarkey 01 May | 21:40

thanks y'all. Ow ow ow, I hurt very bad. and, naturally, I have to leave the computer momentarily so my son can play counterstrike. I'll be back in the morning. I guess.

how could he do this to me? how could he just turn around and dump me right before my birthday out of the blue, for no reason, because, he says, that he can't handle the distance? the distance? he searched me out and started all of this. and now he just - goes? pages upon pages.

posted by mygothlaundry 01 May | 21:46

:-(

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 May | 21:49

What? How? Why?
There must be something wrong with this person.

posted by ethylene 01 May | 21:49

I'm sorry, honey! That's just so... well, that sucks.

It does get get better with time. I know that's not much of a consolation, though. *whuffles mygoth tenderly*

posted by Specklet 01 May | 21:51

Aw man, mgl, man, man, man. This is the last thing I'd have wanted to hear. I don't think I have it in me to ladle out cliches for you. What I can say is I know that there's no way in hell this is your last go-round. Just take good care of yourself, be lenient, be kind, as you would for a friend going through the muck.

And here is my favorite breakup song - it may or may not be applicable, but hey, enjoy.

posted by Miko 01 May | 21:52

i'm tempted to send him a bag of poo and tweens.

posted by ethylene 01 May | 21:53

I have a lil' poop machine in my house, if we need to start collecting.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 May | 21:56

If ever someone was worth the distance, it's you!

I am really sorry, MGL. . it's not fair.

posted by danf 01 May | 22:03

Hrm. That makes me want to growl. And swear. I'll refrain, though. But jist frm swearing. Here's the growl.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(Making a very mean face at the @#*&$.)

posted by Stewriffic 01 May | 22:04

So sorry to hear, I know that's one of those sucky feelings that seems like nothing else could be worse. All I can do is send some nice thoughts your way and tell you that yes, it does getter better.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 01 May | 22:13

The man is clearly a complete fucking idiot, if that's any consolation.

Tell me where he lives and I'll get a train to the airport, catch a plane to the US, catch a bus to his house and smack him in the head for you.

Actually, I won't do that, but I wish I could.

posted by dg 01 May | 22:15

I'm with Stewriffic... grrrrrrrrrrrr...

(I'll save the philosophizing for later. Right now, I'll just growl at him menacingly.)

posted by muddgirl 01 May | 22:16

It'll all be okay.

Dolphins in space !?

posted by shane 01 May | 22:16

David Brin, Startide Rising. 100% guaranteed romance free. Also, makes no sense, but, hey, if you need to lie in bed all day and read something during those moments that you're not curled in a fetal ball, I recommend it. You will not feel that you are missing that one chance to absorb classic literature. Plus, it cost a quarter.

/me has refused to relinquish the computer for counterstrike.

/me also really really really appreciates this y'all. and it helps a lot.

posted by mygothlaundry 01 May | 22:23

(((MGL)))

Be good to yourself.

posted by deborah 01 May | 22:23

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. today and began passing a small kidney stone. Unlike a breakup, however, once you're done you are done and you start to forget the pain rather quickly. If it's a bad one you can even have someone drive you to emergency and get a huge shot of morphine in your butt. But when it's over, it's over.

Breakups, on the other hand...I still think about people I broke up with in college sixteen years ago, and still get a little jealous when one of them tells me she is getting (re)married.

posted by craniac 01 May | 22:25

Sorry for your bad times. Well, I know a break-up itself is bad, missing the person and all, but do yourself a favor and sort your head out so you don't waste time feeling all the silly vague nastiness your subconscious throws up at you: The break-up is NOT your fault, and it does NOT mean you will be alone forever. Realizing these things usually helps.

I think I've heard of Startide Rising. Must read it now. Dolphins in Space !! ...lol.

posted by shane 01 May | 22:28

The title freaked me out slightly, and i am glad it's not something more fatal and blood lossy.

i almost commented a few days ago about how much i love the name Bucket.

posted by ethylene 01 May | 22:34

We love you, mgl. I'm sorry for the suckitude, really.

posted by rainbaby 01 May | 22:45

Always thought this was the best breakup song ever, but I'm a guy, so what the hell do I know? This sucks. Sorry, dude.

posted by dersins 01 May | 23:03

Sorry, lady. And I've read Startide as well, so again, sorry, lady.

Hang in. Eat Cheetos. Naw, eat good cheese. Nap. Feel better.

posted by middleclasstool 01 May | 23:16

Been there, darlin'. Very recently, in fact. I moved cross-country not too many months ago only partially to be with someone, and found it shattered out of the blue at his behest. Talk about facing a stark and sudden reality.

Stay present to your feelings and accept them honestly as they come. Be as kind and empathetic towards yourself as you would towards your best friend (which is hopefully what you are).

And listen to k.d. lang's Ingenue. And Aimee Mann's Lost in Space.

posted by mykescipark 01 May | 23:18

Not a break up song. More of a "I need to be pissed off for four minutes" song. That can be cathartic. Hugs.

posted by arse_hat 01 May | 23:27

Awwwwwwwwww, baby, that sucks. And the guy is obviously a complete fucking idiot. Who in their right mind would give you up? Idiot.

posted by occhiblu 01 May | 23:45

Also, if your doggies are cuddlers, then I recommend dog therapy. Even if they're not cuddlers, let them go run around and be ridiculous and that's good therapy, too.

posted by occhiblu 01 May | 23:56

ninjabunny squads are standing by--just say the word and we'll thump his brains out.

::hugs::

posted by casarkos 02 May | 00:29

i was morbidly depressed to Hayden's Skyscraper Nation Park once. i stopped listening to music during break up withdrawal because i'd just play some something over and over and over until it sucked up the raw emotion and eventually i threw the tape out a window.
i remember watch Elizabeth during a post period and finding it cathartic since she locked her lover up in a tower.

posted by ethylene 02 May | 00:36

Following a particularly painful split I listened to nothing but Laurie Anderson and Motorhead, over and over. This caused some consternation and alarm among my friends, and to tell you the truth I'm not sure what I was thinking either. I'm just thankful that I can listen to them now without having to flee the room in terror.

posted by bmarkey 02 May | 00:51

"Laurie Anderson and Motorhead"

*backs away slowly smiling all the time*

posted by arse_hat 02 May | 01:02

It was No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith and, appropriately enough, Mister Heartbreak.

posted by bmarkey 02 May | 01:06

fucking fuck? what the? fuck.

Man, you just come here right now. I'll load up the fridge with alcohol and ice cream, and you can sleep off the excesses on the world's most uncomfortable couch... and when you wake up we'll do it all over again, repeat, repeat, then we'll walk all over and maybe hit an island or two. fuck. that. shit.

posted by taz 02 May | 01:31

I'm so, so sorry, mgl. I know it hurts -- it hurts more than you think you can bear. But that's just the fear talking... it hurts and you can bear it. And it will be hard for a good long while, but I promise it will get better one day. I know it will. It did for me, and it will for you too, babe. I'm so sorry you're hurting. *hugs*

For some cathartic breakup weeping, may I suggest Neil Finn, "Last to Know"?

Send me your address and I'll send you a mix, if you like.

posted by scody 02 May | 02:06

No advice here, just sadness and hugs and empathy. I'm sorry, mgl. That sucks more than I can say.

posted by elizard 02 May | 02:07

...and yes, it will get better. It will.

posted by elizard 02 May | 02:09

*hugs mgl* How about "Never Say Never" on an endless loop?

That's about how I'm feeling right now

posted by brujita 02 May | 02:09

I am so, so sorry, my dear. Yes, long-distance relationships are hard, but not so hard that if he really, really wanted it to work he could have made it work for him.

He doesn't deserve you. Let me say this again.

HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!

HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!

Here is my favourite fuck-you breakup song.

And here is my favourite 'it'll be ok, have a drink and a good cry' song.

You're among friends here. WE love you.

posted by essexjan 02 May | 02:28

I'd do ya.

(I'm so not helping.)

*bats eyelashes* eh? eh? you like? c'mere, bebbe...

Seriously, mgl, this guy must just be too busted up to salvage. You've got it made without him. We love you and think you are super fucking great. *nods emphatically*

posted by Ambrosia Voyeur 02 May | 02:52

Sucks!

He's a complete and utter shit, screw him. You're fabulous.

posted by By the Grace of God 02 May | 03:47

That sucks. It's okay to feel sad. But you will feel better. Good luck.

posted by grouse 02 May | 04:41

mgl, I'm so sorry this is happening. You are a wonderful and talented person that deserves very good things.

You're very lucky to have good friends to pour beer down your throat.

Take good care, mgl.

posted by LoriFLA 02 May | 05:45

In other words, for those of you who thought that I was going to get less dark and funny and all that shit when I was happy and had a boyfriend?

There's nothing saying you can't get both happy and a boyfriend again. First, get one, then the other. Which one makes the other easier is left as an exercise to the reader.

I saw you mention the breakup earlier and spent part of my afternoon trying to come up with an e-mail that might cheer you up. Suffice to say, you still have fans and admirers. And don't lose the dark, not entirely.

posted by Eideteker 02 May | 06:54

It sucks - it really sucks. There's probably nothing that will make it feel better right now, so indulge in your need to feel awful and lean on all your friends.
Take care. HUGS

posted by mightshould 02 May | 07:07

mgl, it sounds like he's not terribly mature. I watched this happen to a friend of mine recently. Which is no excuse and probably no comfort, but it's NOT YOU. It's not because you're not beautiful, it's because when it comes down to it, he chickened out. Turned tail and ran.

Hugs and whuffles. My favorite breakup song (even though I'm not sure it's a breakup song) is "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac. It's good for belting at the top of one's lungs. It expresses the anger at betrayal and lies better than anything I could write.

posted by lleachie 02 May | 07:13

If it's a bad one you can even have someone drive you to emergency and get a huge shot of morphine in your butt.

I'm thinking that break-ups should be treated more like kidney stones, especially the horrible-surprise variety of break-up. Huge shot of painkiller from brusque, competent professionals? Yes, please!

I'm so sorry, sweet girl, and it just means he wasn't ready for the awesomeness that is you. Hard to imagine. (And all those good people offering to smack him in the head? Sweet, but redundant, because he'll do it himself one of these days.)

Take care. It sounds like you have plenty of solid-flesh, face-to-face friends who are hanging in with you. Let them take care of you, too.

This is when friends earn their stripes, lady.

posted by Elsa 02 May | 07:56

marry me, dammit.

posted by quonsar 02 May | 08:24

marry me, dammit.

Run! Run!

posted by essexjan 02 May | 08:28

Boo to the stupid man! I'm sorry you're hurting. If I could I'd take you to go get some awesome tattoos together. Boo stupid man!

posted by misskaz 02 May | 08:43

ugh. I wish I could bring you whiskey and high-end chocolates and fancy smokes. Instead, I send you Jane Jensen, getting her grr on; Nina Gordon, letting her inner adolescent angst freely; Halou, telling him to go to hell; and the best of all Toni Halliday, being better all on her own.

And as a bonus, the very hot Reid brothers, who have gotten me through many a day this way.

please if you could download to listen, not stream, my host would appreciate it.

posted by crush-onastick 02 May | 08:52

For the first time ever, I am typing:

((MGL))

I'm not a big online hugger, but it seems the right thing to do here.

posted by richat 02 May | 09:01

Thanks, y'all. This all means more to me than I can say. Damn. Snif. You are all incredibly awesome and all this music and kindness and offers of violence are super freaking awesome and thank you so much. Love you all.

quonsar, name the date.

posted by mygothlaundry 02 May | 09:05

WHAT?!?!? What a douchefuck! I am sending big, big hugs and love to you, my friend.

Here's my favorite break-up song. Yeah, the gender is wrong, but Elvis Costello is always appropriate.

posted by jrossi4r 02 May | 09:05

I am going to have Greg Kihn in my head all day.

AW AH AH AHAH AWAWAW

*dances with MGL*

C'mon, white girl! Shake that booty. Shake it!

posted by Eideteker 02 May | 09:37

A bit late, but here is one that I like. . .

I hope you are doing a wee bit better today, MGL.

(it's a lucinda track)

posted by danf 02 May | 09:45

Oh and of course:

Oh pretty girls, you're too good for this.

posted by crush-onastick 02 May | 09:57

(I mean, I know that it's not a break up song. I mean, I can parse the lyrics, but the sentiment works)

posted by crush-onastick 02 May | 09:58

(((MGL)))

I don't have any advice. My last breakup was as good as could be hoped for (kinda) and I still spent weeks eating Raffaellos and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Take Another Piece of My Heart: the traditional breakup song, at least in my family. (Not so much with the accompanying video, but heck.)

posted by small_ruminant 02 May | 11:39

I just wanted to chime in with a "it'll get better" and a "you are loved". You have so much awesomeness in you and happiness will come back.

(((MGL)))

posted by Sil 02 May | 11:46

*hugs*

posted by danostuporstar 02 May | 12:07

Big hugs, mgl. And fuck im - you're losing a douchebag, he's losing a STAR.

posted by goo 02 May | 12:31

*hugs*

You *are* awesome, and I'm sorry.

posted by Fuzzbean 02 May | 13:52

Aww, mgl. I'm so sorry.

Anyone who doesn't want you is too fucked up to deserve you. (I know this is a quote from somewhere, but I can't remember where and it doesn't matter.)

Dogs, long walks, crying. Great big hugs and whatever you need. We're all cheering for you.

posted by tangerine 02 May | 18:00

Aww mgl I'm sorry. It will wear off, and while it does so, eat what you want, take showers as long as you want, read all the freaky books you want (I could send you the UL design book if you want something with no romance :) and pamper yourself. There are worse times of the year to go solo - spring will buoy you & all the nature that wakes up with it.

love,
chewie

posted by chewatadistance 02 May | 18:42

01 May 2008