I'm not ColdChef, but wouldn't a cremation be a less expensive alternative?

...yes (and certainly what I've chosen to do when I shuffle off) but it's a matter of faith within the family as to why cremation isn't being looked at in this situation.

Can't you just ring around some local homes and ask for a ball park figure for a bottom-end service? At least then you will have some hard data to present to the family.

Sorry. I just saw this (thanks, "Google Alerts!")

It would be unethical for me to speculate whether this funeral home is taking advantage of this family or not, as I'm not familiar with their prices. There are no national standards for funeral prices, and they can vary wildly from business to business.

I will say this: my father's policy has always been (and will always be) that for the death of a child, the family is only charged for half of our services and they pay whatever we pay for the casket. In a perfect world, we'd break even on those, but we tend to lose a little money, and that's okay for us. Again, every business is different.

The number one place where a family can save money on a funeral is on the casket itself. I appreciate a family who asks me bluntly, "What's the cheapest one you have?" I'm not a casket salesman, I'm a funeral director. The family needs to honestly ask if there are any more economical choices available to them. It's a hard question for people to ask. No one wants to look cheap. Especially when it's their child. It should be said, though, that any casket they choose will provide a decent, dignified funeral and no honorable person will judge them for their choices.

The last thing I want to do is cause financial hardship on a family who is already struggling. As far as paying everything up front, that has become an unfortunate necessity. We've personally had too many families who have asked for elaborate funerals that were way beyond their means, and then declared bankruptcy. It's caused undue financial burden on our business and our family. The best way to make sure that someone is not buying a service beyond their means is to ask for the full amount at the time of need.

Having said that...encourage them to talk to a smaller, family owned funeral home. They are not beholden to the corporations and their bottom line. I don't want to slag off corporate funeral homes, because there are some really good, really compassionate ones. But they don't have the leeway that family funeral homes have in working out a reasonable budget with the family.

I am honest with people who are honest with me. If a family tells me that they have only four thousand dollars, I'm going to work with them to provide them the best service I can for what they have. They are not going to get the finest mahogany casket. They are not going to get eight hours of visitation. They are not going to get three limos and use of the cathedral. They WILL get a dignified, solemn service that honors the life of their loved one. I won't treat them as second class because they've chosen a less expensive burial.

Please feel free to email me with any specific questions you might have.

Thanks, Chef. I appreciate your thoughts. I'm trying hard not to be overly nosy or intrusive with this family because they're pretty devastated, but I want to make sure they're not paying more than they have to. Your words will help me help them. Thanks again.