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17 April 2008

In honour of this excellent askme thread, let's hear the stories you like to tell over and over again![More:]

Here's mine: I worked at a museum (and let me go off on a tangent here and say that mygothlaundry should go ahead and have that sit-down with that board member) and would often correspond with my friends in Palestine and read Palestinian news sites during my small amount of goofing off on the web time.

I was friends with the classic hacker BOFH net admin, and he was as much of a lefty as me, so did this with aplomb and no concern.

One day I got called into the office of my boss, The head of security was there and said that a friend of his at the dept of Homeland Security had said a computer with MY NAME ON IT had been flagged as terrorist activity.

I'd babysat the kids of the head of security and drank many a beer with him, and bitched about work, I was shocked.

I was really freaked out for about a month, but I was not sacked, and nothing came of it. I learned that this informal comment from dhs to the head of security at my job was way in violation of the PATRIOT act anyway. I talked to a head of the aclu in the city, and to a lawyer, and to the left wing media about it. Most of all I avoided the head of security, who told me one day as we were shutting the museum after an event, that his friend had expected me to get sacked.

I was an active palestine solidarity campaigner and an outspoken socialist, occasionally visible in the media. I did not stop this work. I started to learn about computer security and about the encroaching police state.

Months went by. And then, one day, the head of security was sacked for a HUGE breach of the rules. It was all I could do not to sing, 'ding dong, the witch is dead.'

There is a Japanese proverb for this: If you sit by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy float by.

Thinking back on this story, the trauma of this experience probably goes a long way to explaining my current problems with work.

But the reason I tell it once in a while is to comfort people, to explain that people can be reasonable, and if you stick to your guns you can win through the subtle social pressure and censorship that is the leading edge of the police state. In my campaigning work I often work with people who encounter security forces or just random threats-once-removed, like I had. It's so important to stick to the facts and to be calm and to instill confidence.
BtGoG - after I found out that the CIA monitors facebook for "national security reasons", I was super-pleased to be your facebook-friend. "OMG, some Texas girl is linked with this radical Palistine-supporter from London! It must be a terr'ist cell right here in our own country!"

For some reason, that just makes me giggle.
posted by muddgirl 17 April | 07:04
It's so important to stick to the facts and to be calm and to instill confidence.


Really, incredibly simple but great advice.
posted by typewriter 17 April | 08:39
It's a good story, BtGoG. Maybe I'm reading it wrong though - why was the head of security a bad guy?
posted by gaspode 17 April | 09:36
Well, he was a bad guy. He was a little Napoleon, racist and sexist, and just a general ass to anybody he disliked. I fell into this category for disagreeing with him about work policy shortly before this report.

Should have left that in the story I guess. I was cutting out identifying bits and guess I cut too much.
posted by By the Grace of God 17 April | 09:48
Gotcha.

I know I have stories I have told many times... my brain is blank right now though.
posted by gaspode 17 April | 09:52
Most of my favorite over-and-over stories reflect poorly on me.

Here's one. Man, am I a jackass:

So, I'm sitting at the counter at Leo's Lunchroom, the proto-hipster-y restaurant I favored around age 23, when Terry, the server and a casual friend, waves vaguely and says, "Elsa, you know Matt, right?"

Now, I could've said "Matt, the graphic designer?" or "Matt, Chuck's friend?" or even "Matt, who always wears that Charlie Brown shirt?" But I didn't.

I piped up "Matt? Matt with the basketball head?"

He did, indeed, have a big round head the size and shape of a basketball. And he must have known it --- he shaved his head and wore a custom silk-screened shirt just like Charlie Brown's shirt! For goodness sake!

Uh, anyway... I happily pealed out "Matt? Matt with the basketball head? Sure, I know Matt! Why?"

Terry's smile froze just as I realized that his vague wave was one of casual introduction. "Because," Terry choked out, "he's standing right behind you."

I'll never know how I failed to notice the shadow cast by his big enormous head.
posted by Elsa 17 April | 11:34
Here's a story I like to tell from time to time. I heard it first from a professor. Apparently, he confused the hero of the story for another person: the story is about Viktor Masing, Estonian biologist, but the first time I heard this story, it was told about Uku Masing, a theologian. Or maybe it's completely apocryphal, I don't know, I don't feel it's the time and place to discuss it.

Anyway, sometime in the 50's, the story goes, Masing was living in a single room in a university dormitory. His room was so small that he didn't even have much room for bookshelves. So he had to keep his books in stacks on the floor. He had so many books that the floor of his room was literally covered with them. He also kept his winter potatoes in there. As a consequence, his floor was covered with several layers of books and potatoes. Whenever someone came to visit him, that person had to take a high step over the threshold, as the floor of Masing's room was about half a meter higher than the floor in the hallway.

Another problem Masing had was that he could never find the book he was looking for, so he was forced to work in the university library.
posted by Daniel Charms 17 April | 13:14
Elsa, that story had me in stitches!!

I'm sure I tell way too many stories over and over. Luckily, Mr. V goodwillingly puts up with it.

I know I go on and on about how Mr. V and I met (pre-computers for both of us; we met through the newspaper personals. Yada yada yada, he had me at "Hello".)

And I'm sure I've mentioned the fact that I come from a line of murderers on my father's side...in fact, every time there's a thread on geneology, I mention it. So there's that.

Oh, and this one time I split my ex-husband's lip. Stop me if you've heard this before.... Christmas Day, he didn't have them ready when I came to pick them up (he would get them on Christmas Eve, and he was supposed to bring them back, but I was often the one dropping off and picking up as he was too lazy.) They were about three and seven years old. As soon as I got there, he started harrassing me, needling me, being nasty. I ended up snapping at the oldest to find his shoe, and my ex grabbed me, to push me toward his door. Well, he was pulling me over my son, ignoring him, and I snapped. All I remember is growling "Don't pull me over my son!!!" and swinging to make him let go of me. It was bad, it was quick, and when it was done, my ex was bleeding. It was the first time I'd stood up for myself when he went physical, and I felt great!!! We did apologize to each other in front of the kids, and we apologized to them too. Best of all, my ex started to treat me with respect after that.
posted by redvixen 17 April | 19:31
I heart Gracie more and more every day:)

Say, are there any more like you at home that haven't been spoken for yet?
posted by hadjiboy 18 April | 01:53
Nojoud Ali || Question for the Gentlemen:

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