You are many admirable things, jonmc, but pure of heart is not one of them.

And I am pure of liver.

I'm pure of all organs, sir. With the possible exception of the bile duct.

You are many admirable things, BOP, but pure of liver is not one of them.

BOP, this chick is impugning our purity, man.

Were my purity more impugned it would be positively putrid.

You are pure of putridity, my man.

(believe it or not, the part about the Swedish blondes is 100% true. Somewhere Bob Guccione is smiling. and not just because he's being serviced by two pornstars on a gin-filled waterbed, either)

Many, many, many moons ago, when Mrs. Doohickie and I were newlyweds, we moved to Los Angeles and were staying in a hotel near LAX. It was one of the hotels where flight crews stayed. Mrs. Doohickie didn't like swimming, but I did.

One evening I decided to go for a short swim before the pool closed. I was sitting in one end of the pool just hangin' around, and two SAS flight attendants came through the pool courtyard. They popped into a room and that was all I was to see of the two statuesque blonds.

Or so I thought. A few minutes later, they came back out to the pool. Apparently they forgot to pack swimsuits. One was wearing a bra and panties (matching and very lacy) while the other one was wearing a teddy. They jumped into the pool, then got out and went over to the diving board (at my end of the pool). They both made a big deal about diving in. They never once, though, acknowledged my presence. I dared not get out of the pool for the tent I was pitching. They only swam a few minutes before climbing back out and going back to their room.

The whole time I was thinking, "Dear Penthouse Forum, Something happened to me that I thought only happens to other people..." Then I would remember Mrs. Dooh.

Torture. Torture I tell ya.

Dooh, my man, that kind of shit only happens when you are taken. It's proff that there is a God and he has a cruel sense of humor.

Wanna see under our ponchos?
≡ Click to see image ≡

Also, Doohickie, I hope you weren't wearing a Speedo. You would've either had to leave or stand there telling yourself 'Think of nuns and dead puppies! Think of nuns and dead puppies!'

I had trunks, but seriously I needed to stay in the pool while they were around.

And yeah, it only happens when you're taken. I worked as a waiter for two years during college. In that time, not one customer left her phone number or otherwise propositioned me. Until the week I got engaged when THREE DIFFERENT GORGEOUS WOMEN either left their phone number or invited me to a party (because we don't have enough guys coming!)

Women and their Guydar.... HARRUMPH

I want to read a Penthouse Forum piece that starts with "It was just a matter of time until a hot three-way with two Swedish chicks happened to me..."

(What foreign women do Swedish men fantasize about, I wonder? Maybe they don't have to.)

What foreign women do Swedish men fantasize about, I wonder?

I'm thinking Albanians, man.

... that kind of shit only happens when you are taken. It's proff that there is a God and he has a cruel sense of humor.
God has nothing to do with it. It's women - they are just mean.

I dunno about that dg. I think it's just a power women have that men don't and I can't really blame them for using it. If I had the ability to turn an intelligent grown person into blubbering imbecile simply via attractiveness, I'd certainly use it, but for a variety of reasons, I don't think women are quite as susceptible to that stuff as men.

I don't know. There is this particular sherif's deputy that shows up for rehab in his uniform. I usually don't have the hots for cops, but this guy, Oooh. Sade's "Smooth Operator" starts playing in my head.

Dear Tenthouse Forum, I never thought something like this could happen to me... There I was, innocently pitching my tent (a brand-spanking new Eureka K2 2-to-3 person, 4 season expedition tent), when two gorgeous Swedish geodesics popped up right next to me with front vestibules hooped for an external pole, for fast and easy set up. I has just the external pole required...

LoriFLA: I don't deny that men get women all hot and bothered, but women can keep from become imbeciles because of it, otherwise there'd be as many Chippendales as there are female strip clubs.