I would be insanely literal. You want all the money in the world? POOF! You get ALL the money in the WORLD- every little bit of it, every last paper and coin, piled right on top of you. Man, I'd be a sick genie.

Fiendishly literal. Otherwise it'd get boring after a couple of centuries.

Depends on my master. Don't like 'em? Literal as hell. Like 'em? I'd fuck with their head a little bit, ask them if they're sure about the wish etc, but then give them what they really wanted.

I would be so scared to ask a literal genie for weight loss if I needed it, after seeing some creepy Twilight Zone/Outer Limits thing when I was a kid. Somehow some man got three wishes, and one was to lose weight. He had an accident and his leg was amputated, and without his leg he ended up losing exactly the amount he was hoping for.

I would be the most literal pain in the ass genie ever. Totally as bad as the one from Family Guy. I'd be worse than a monkey's paw.

I'd be nice, and grant what I understood the person wanted. Goes against my general human demeanor, but I would. I'd be a master pleaser.

I would be incredibly figurative. I would make works of art with my interpretations alone. It would be motherfuckin' poetry.

If granting a certain amount of wishes and making a certain amount of people happy eventually freed me from being a slave to others I would be nice as hell. Otherwise, I would judge and punish greedy people by being as literal as possible, and reward more altruistic wishes by reigning in any maleficent tendencies.

I'd grant people their wishes as they intend them. But only because I have the disturbing habit of letting my idle thoughts drift into sessions of constructing complicated wishes designed to foil that bastard literal genie.

I don't wish that torture on anyone else.

Let me put it this way: If I'm your genie, and you're feeling a bit peckish, do not ask me to make you a hot dog with everything on it.

I'd would totally be the kind of genie that Bartimaeus is in The Bartimaeus Trilogy. I think he's called a djinni in the books, and he has to do the bidding of the boy who summons him - but he's kind of a sneaky pain in the ass about it.

It doesn't matter because I'm not a genie.

do not ask me to make you a hot dog with everything on it.

Because you'll place the entire world on the back of a giant tortoise, and then place the tortoise on the back of a dog, and then you'll make me sexually attracted to that dog?

I told you, poetry.

Djinni, I love that spelling. Here's a little something for the Scrabble fans: djin djins djinn djinns djinni djinny jin jins jinn jinns jinnee jinni genie genies.

i would be as interpretive as any tricker devil.
Learn to use your words.

Je Souhaite, X-Files, Season 7, Episode 21. (I'm so turning into That Guy. I know this. I'm okay with it.)

Classic passive-aggressive lawyer genie. Episode is good for some laughs throughout, both for the precise unhelpfulness of the wishes and the weary jadedness with which our rug-borne immortal telegraphs same.

For my part, I'd like to think I'd be at least altruistic on the balance; taking the piss on petty wishes from petty wishers would be hard to resist, I suppose, but at least flip that towards the good of the whole when you can instead of just straight up misanthropic grudgery toward the individual.

But I imagine genie work would be deliver some pretty questionable views of humanity, and the godlike-yet-helpless dynamic of serial metaphysical bondage would probably be a real mindfuck after a while, so I can understand the notion that contempt could start to beat out the rest of one's feelings toward mankind as seen through its wishes.

It would depend on the situation, person and wish.