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22 March 2008

A day for the damn record books. [More:] Today was your typical busy holiday weekend at the Famous Indie Bookstore. Typical, that is, until early afternoon when I went out to have a cigarette and noticed that the sidewalk was littered with feathers, tons of them. And there was clouds of feathers floating the air, too. From an overheard conversation, I learned that some bunch of geniuses decide to use Union Square Park to have a 'Pillow Fight for Peace.' This is one of those things that sounds all cute and creative and shit on paper, but pisses everybody off in reality, since they fail to realize that some poor bastard has to clean all that shit up. I mentioned this to a co-worker (the guy in this post with the annoying hair), and he said 'well, somebody's paid to clean it up.' That kind of attitude is why people can't stand 'hip' young people, buddy.

Of course, as people came into the store, they tracked all the feathers in until the store looked like a cockfight arena. One specimen, a kid in a gigantic whiteboy afro with tomes of feathers scattered through it, came up and asked me for a job application. I came this close to saying 'Sure, you can have a job! here's a fuckin' broom, Billy Jack!' I mentioned this to a co-worker and she said 'It's not a good idea to apply for a job with feathers in your hair.' 'Unless of course,' I retorted, 'one is applying for the job of Indian Chief.' Another befeathered specimen, who was also wearing a fucking cape asked a female co-worker on a date. Maybe she looks like Lois Lane.

Actually, love must be in the air around there today, since one of my homeless guy regulars asked one of my homeless woman regulars out for lunch while they were waiting in line to sell books. Kind of sweet in a Love Among The Ruins kind of way, plus they can avoid the cliched 'Your place or mine?' coversation.

When I got on the subway to go home, the tracks were littered with fuckloads of feathers, too. When I stopped at the Key Food, they had this stuff on the shelf. I may mix it with vodka in an attempt to make malt liquor.

*gibbers*
I love these posts. They're like a Bizzaro Talk of the Town.
posted by Miko 22 March | 19:20
i was wearing a cape the other day. i felt like someone's high school art teacher.
[NOT CAPIST]
posted by ethylene 22 March | 19:25
Actually, love must be in the air around there today, since one of my homeless guy regulars asked one of my homeless woman regulars out for lunch while they were waiting in line to sell books. Kind of sweet in a Love Among The Ruins kind of way, plus they can avoid the cliched 'Your place or mine?' conversation.

You should dedicate a blog to your work observations and adventures. I read this post to the hubby. We couldn't start laughing at this part.

I would love to know the group that organized 'Pillow Fight for Peace.'
posted by LoriFLA 22 March | 19:29
I rewatched The Incredibles a couple nights ago.

Edna: November 15th of '58! All was well, another day saved, when... his cape snagged on a missile fin!
Stratogale! April 23rd, '57! Cape caught in a jet turbine!
Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snagged on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex!
No capes!


Pillow fights are common mob event thingies, like zombie mobs. There was one organized in the Ferry Building in SF a couple years ago (and maybe more since?).
posted by birdie 22 March | 19:33
Lori, the regulars at this place are a book, no-an encyclopedia of insanity unto themselves. One of our other regulars, a very pleasant pissbum with about three teeth in his head wheeled in a cart loaded with a bout 8 cardboard boxes around noon. 'We don't do big lots on weekends!' my boss bellowed. 'But they brand new!' the guy pleaded. I turned to the security guard next to me and said 'well, that's more than we can say for him.'


Pillow fights are common mob event thingies


Well, tell 'em to cut it out or I'm gonna organize a bunch of custodians and maintenance men to attend their next little art statement with pillows full of buckshot.
posted by jonmc 22 March | 19:35
Love Among The Ruins

I love this... Today, at the Key Food, there was a rather sweet encounter between a tall, round-waisted guy with an out-on-a-day-pass voice and a stringy-haired lady with really bad teeth who chatted for awhile in the cat food aisle. He had good advice about avoiding ash in cat food, and she smiled, her teeth black, and asked how many cats he had. I went on to papergoods, so I don't know how it all turned out, but I'm rooting for them.
posted by Pips 22 March | 19:40
Capes are purely for show. There is no good workaday cape unless it's part of those duster trenches or fully hooded.

It's spring, the canoodling season.
posted by ethylene 22 March | 19:41
The tar fights are less popular, but at least when they're over the potholes are fixed.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 March | 19:48
Capes are purely for show

This time of year, maybe, but I've gotten a serious appreciation for a commodious wool cape as a result of hanging around history museums. There's nothing warmer. Why we ever stopped going around in winter draped in a big cozy blanket,I'm sure I don't know.
posted by Miko 22 March | 19:52
I've gotten a serious appreciation for a commodious wool cape

Yes, but you'll have to deal with dudes asking if you'll take them back to the Batcave.
posted by jonmc 22 March | 19:59
You should dedicate a blog to your work observations and adventures. I read this post to the hubby. We couldn't start laughing at this part.

I second this motion.

Put ads on it.

Profit!
posted by bunnyfire 22 March | 20:02
Of course I meant to say, we couldn't stop laughing.

My husband used to have a friend in high-school named Count. I knew of him, but didn't know him. His given name was actually Count. His brother was Doctor. No lie. Anyway, Count wore a cape on a regular basis. It was only natural that he would.

I used to be able to witness a lot of crazy types at the flea market or in the hospital. It kept things interesting. Now that I work outpatient I'm mostly around the wealthy golf and tennis types. They're kind of vanilla. I hear a lot about tee times and clubs and pharmacies and going home for the summer.
posted by LoriFLA 22 March | 20:05
My husband used to have a friend in high-school named Count. I knew of him, but didn't know him. His given name was actually Count. His brother was Doctor. No lie. Anyway, Count wore a cape on a regular basis

Back in my twenties, I had a buddy named Craig, who was really into the whole vsmpire schtick. He had these very realistic-looking fangs. One time we took him to a Hometown Buffett. While waiting in line, I pleaded with him to put them on and tell the hostess 'I'm 400 years old. I demand a Senior Citizen dicount!' but he wouldn't go for it.
posted by jonmc 22 March | 20:11
Another time, at the very same Hometown Buffett, there was this dude in the whole goth/vampire ensemble-floor-length black duster, eyeliner, stringy black shoulder-legnth hair, big-ass lip spike-having a meal with two oldsters who assume were his folks. It's not every day you get to see the Prince of Darkness enjoy some Jell-O salad.
posted by jonmc 22 March | 20:18
If I'm remembering correctly the Hometown Buffet bought Stacey's Buffet that used to be Duff's Buffet. Don't ask me how I know this. We don't have a Hometown Buffet. We have the Country Harvest Buffet. Duff's was edible. I think I've been to Stacey's as a teenager and that was doable too. There is nothing good about the Country Harvest Buffet. Even the soft-serve ice milk sucks. How can you screw up soft-serve? The last time we went was with my husband's grandparents. The kids were even curling up their noses, and they will eat anything. I go to a grocery store near the Country Harvest. When I see tourists going in I want to run up to them and warn them. Maybe they know what they're getting into when all you can eat is 8.95.
posted by LoriFLA 22 March | 21:30
NO CAPES!!!
posted by pieisexactlythree 22 March | 22:15
How 'bout capers?
posted by Pips 22 March | 22:35
jon, i wonder if your be-fanged friend had his fangs made by a guy i dated when i was much too young to do so. he was a custom fang maker. at vampire clubs. in the 90s.

don't tell anyone about this, all right?
posted by brina 22 March | 23:49
I have been waiting freakin' decades for capes and codpieces to come back in.

In vain.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken 23 March | 04:43
Evidently my boss (the nicer one) stopped into your bookstore last week Jon, did you see a posh older english guy with a lot of books about discrimination etc? He totally digs your bookstore.
posted by By the Grace of God 23 March | 07:33
Well, unless he was selling, probably not. Maybe he saw me or perhaps another tall skinny goateed guy with a plaid shirt, screws in his ears and baseball hat.
posted by jonmc 23 March | 09:59
Marching Band || Woo!

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