Well at my super Catholic dinners there was a lot of prayer and reflection BUT still a sort of light heartedness over the end of Lent. I've always had the impression that if it's a friends having friends over thing, it's more like a good meal dinner party thing. I think you might be making a big deal out of it BUT depending on how devout they are you might anticipate a longer Grace or some prayer afterwards?

Unless they're aggressive with a Christian agenda, you might be getting worked up over nothing. I'm not religious and wasn't brought up with much religion in the house (except Church on Sundays and a few years of Sunday school - but it never seemed to make it to the house, just at church), but I have had a few meals at very religious households. I also got a bit worked up about it being uncomfortable, but it was always fine. As Mrs Pants said, a longer grace is most likely the biggest thing. I was taken aback the first time I was at a dinner table where we all held hands to say grace (I had never even heard of that before), but the hostess said some incredibly beautiful words and I was genuinely touched. I didn't need the words to be directed at God, but I shared the sentiment. Just enjoy the company, appreciate the differences and go with your instincts, I'm sure they'll guide you well.

Easter baskets were about as religious as our Easters got when I was a kid.

Easter baskets were about as religious as our Easters got when I was a kid.

Mine too. I still loving having friends over for Easter dinner, but it's always been more about dying eggs and celebrating spring for me. I don't know the religious background of your friends, but if it's not like you know them through church or something, then I wouldn't necessarily assume there's going to be a large religious component.

(Can you ask them? Is there any non-awkward way to bring up the topic beforehand?)

In both my catholic family and my wife's catholic family, aside from maybe a special prayer at the beginning of the meal, there's little else connected to religion.

Yeah, the Catholics I know don't do much about Easter after mass that morning. I mean, in my childhood at least, you woke up, you found your basket, you had to take a bath and get dressed up and go to mass all hopped up on sugar. Then around noon your parents trotted out the bloody marys and then the whiskey sours and the neighbors came over and there were egg hunts and easter baskets and somebody always threw up from too much chocolate and around 2:00 or 3:00 everybody had ham and biscuits (yay!) or lamb and peas and mint jelly (yuck.) Your little brother said Grace and then everyone ate and no mention of religion was made at all until your father yelled Jesus Christ Almighty and all the Saints you goddamn kids it's Easter Sunday what the hell is wrong with you?

mgl are you my long-lost sister? (or maybe cousin, because we'd substitute your dad with my grandad. and the bloody marys with jameson)

Our family Easter typically has at least one of the following: Atheist, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Wikkan, Unitarian Unversalist, and maybe an actual Christian. It's just an excuse to get the family together and have a big meal and celebrate the end of winter.

It's just an excuse to get the family together and have a big meal and celebrate the end of winter.

Exactly. Both my in-laws and my parents are a bunch of heathens like me. We're getting together for dinner on Easter.

I grew up in kind of a freethinking ecumenical household. We didn't do Easter Church (unless it was with my Catholic Grandma) but we did get up and find eggs and have baskets, and we did get new clothes, and we did go to Grandma's for a fancy dinner with the silver and table pads and relish tray.

I've been sort of an odd one out in religious environments all my life, but at this point, I sort of treasure it. Whatever I personally believe, there's no reason I can't participate in a feast with others and take what I might find rewarding from it. Now, it'd be one thing if people were going to take you into a corner and harangue you for heathenism...but I've never really had that happen. Part of determining your beliefs is confidently owning them. In social situations, you can do that and still let others observe as they will.

I used to freeze up in discomfort when there was a religious atmosphere going on around me that I couldn't fully embrace. These days, for some reason, I'm much more comfortable participating in my own way, for my own reasons, and not feel like I either have to wholly adopt nor wholly rebel against what's happening.

My main fault with Easter was that it was sort of an anticlimactic holiday. After the chocolate, it was pretty much all relatives and dinner. It was like the excitement was over by 10 AM. The weather in NJ for Easter seemed to always, always, always be crappy - 40 degrees and rainy, kind of thing. So I remember it as sort of a listless day.

gaspode, I was just coming into this thread to say roughly the same thing.

somanyamys, for what it's worth occhiblu's right, as usual. I think it's okay to be overthinky about this stuff, but if they're your friends, can you talk to them?

I'm pretty stubbornly agnostic, but I've had friends from all kinds of strict religions, so I definitely don't mind saying grace at a formal holiday dinner.

Our friends definitely don't have any kind of agenda. They are totally great. In fact, I assume the religious component will be relatively small. But I'm sorta spiritually fragile at the moment, so "relatively small" is still eekworthy. Basically, I'm freaking out about this because of my own baggage. I totally acknowledge that.

My break with Christianity is so new, and I'm still struggling with what I am now. I definitely do not confidently own my beliefs, to borrow Miko's phrase, because I don't know what they are anymore. Not yet. It would be so easy just to fall into old patterns, to mimic certain behaviors to blend in -- but that seems like hypocrisy and backsliding to me at a time when I'm desperately trying to move forward. That's why I was planning on Skipping Easter, taking it as a day to focus on my new journey to wherever I might end up. However...

It's just an excuse to get the family together and have a big meal and celebrate the end of winter.

I like that. It helps a lot to think of it that way. (I am astounded at my own ignorance sometimes. I honestly didn't know people did that. I always thought the rest of society just ignored us Jeebus-types on Easter and went about their business.)

I knew y'all would set me straight. So here's what I'm seeing: I am overreacting. In an overzealous effort to deprogram and STAY deprogrammed, I was missing out on all the non-holy reasons people get together on Easter. I will go, and eat ham and enjoy friends and celebrate the end of winter. If the weather is nice, we might even play croquet.

Thanks, folks. I knew I would find clarity and wisdom here.

(just add me and the mister as people that do celebrate Easter, with friends, and no religion. I personally am getting down with the spring equinox, and I don't know anyone else's motivation, because I've never asked them.)

It would be so easy just to fall into old patterns, to mimic certain behaviors to blend in -- but that seems like hypocrisy and backsliding to me at a time when I'm desperately trying to move forward. That's why I was planning on Skipping Easter, taking it as a day to focus on my new journey

If this helps, maybe it can still be a day to focus on your new journey. Maybe it'll be interesting to watch your own reactions and to observe the same holiday with new eyes. And ask yourself about what other purposes it serves (get together, eat food, see friends, celebrate spring) and how you can have a new approach to familiar rituals.

One thing that always made me sad was hearing religious people talk about non-religious people as though their lives were necessarily emptier, as though they never experienced deeper meanings. Just because there's no longer a religious narrative you believe is true for this holiday doesn't mean the holiday has to be devoid of meaning. Easter traditions are full of loveliness. Heck, most symbols of Easter are based on ancient religions that way predate Christianity anyway - eggs, bunnies, sweetness, grass = rebirth, fertility, great cycle of life, love and rejuvenation. All those meanings are still there to be cherished and enjoyed. Life is really mysterious and emotionally rich even when it is not seen through a God lens. Maybe you'll have fun if you look for new meanings in the traditions and see how you feel.

My gf is going away to visit her family so I'm all alone this weekend. A MeFite invited me to play Rock Band up in NH, but I might have to work this weekend. Anyone wanna cook me dinner? *sad puppy dawg face*

"It would be so easy just to fall into old patterns..." : Might I suggest then taking along a dish of shrimp fra diavolo and a devil's food cake? No? Ok, nevermind.

A Day of Ham and Jeebus

Someday I am going to write a children's book, and this shall be its title.

And yeah, back when I was still Catholic: Easter dinner was just about a nice dinner with friends/family to celebrate spring. The big deal was in the morning, what with all the chocolate and church.

Life is really mysterious and emotionally rich even when it is not seen through a God lens. Maybe you'll have fun if you look for new meanings in the traditions and see how you feel.

What I think I really need is a miniature Miko sitting on my shoulder like Jiminy Cricket. I'd have this spiritual crisis sorted out in no time.

A Day of Ham and Jeebus

Someday I am going to write a children's book, and this shall be its title.

And I will gladly read it to all my little heathen children.