MetaChat - Help me get through this weekend.

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13 March 2008

Help me get through this weekend. So, my cousin committed suicide last May. He would have been 30 this Saturday. Um, help.

post by: desjardins at: 22:44 | 23 comments

(((desjardins)))

posted by gomichild 13 March | 22:52

you ever have that moment when you *know* that there are people who love you unconditionally and yet you still feel utterly and completely alone?

posted by desjardins 13 March | 23:02

Oh god, this is horrible. Were you close?

posted by pieisexactlythree 13 March | 23:04

Yes desjardins but I have no advice. I just work through it day by day. Big hugs.

posted by arse_hat 13 March | 23:07

Oh, desjardins, I'm so sorry. It's terrible how the feeling sneaks back up at birthdays and other events, isn't it?

you ever have that moment when you *know* that there are people who love you unconditionally and yet you still feel utterly and completely alone?

Yes, I've had that feeling. I suspect most of us have had it. It's dreadful.

But it will pass. That can be hard to know deep down in the core of your being, so I'm gonna say it again: it will pass.

(((desjardins)))

posted by Elsa 13 March | 23:12

yeah, pie, we were close, especially as fucked-up teenagers. We were estranged for the last few years because he'd gotten into drugs and was asking for money and I refused to enable. (I offered help that wasn't taken, and then I frankly lost track of him as did the rest of the family.)

thank god my fiance will be back from his business trip tomorrow. I need to be held really, really tight.

posted by desjardins 13 March | 23:20

All I got is whuffles and hugs. They're yours.

(((desjardins)))

posted by lysdexic 13 March | 23:22

I really don't know how I'm going to function at work tomorrow. I don't have any paid time off and can't afford to take unpaid time off. My boss is really, really understanding, but I don't want to be a fucking wreck all day.

posted by desjardins 13 March | 23:23

Sorry desjardins. It's hard to be among the living. It sounds like you did all that was right. Life has sadnesses that reason can't contain. All comforts to you.

posted by Miko 13 March | 23:23

I really don't know how I'm going to function at work tomorrow.

Let tomorrow worry about tomorrow. Get as good a night's sleep as you can. Things look different on different days, and at different times of day. Breathe.

posted by Miko 13 March | 23:26

I'm all out of whuffles today, but I have some spare hugs you can have.

{{{{desjardins}}}}

posted by dg 13 March | 23:27

I can only advise what I'm doing right now. In bed, with cookies and hot tea and talking through what I'm feeling. What else can you do?

(((desjardins)))

posted by pieisexactlythree 13 March | 23:32

Alas, the power of internet hugs doesn't seem great enough to reach through the computer, but I'll give them to you anyway. And whuffles, too.

If you get to work tomorrow and you don't feel up to it, leave. Let your boss know what is going on. Family deaths always merit time off, but family deaths like these are particularly hard to bear. And I bet that even if you don't have any more paid time off, the boss will let this one slide.

I'm so sorry, desjardins.

posted by brina 13 March | 23:49

I think I am going to let the dogs and the cats sleep in the bed tonight. a rare occurrence. I can't stand to be alone.

posted by desjardins 13 March | 23:58

Dogs & cats make good companions, and tomorrow your fiance will come home. And it sounds as if you're doing remarkably well at figuring out what you need to weather this painful date, and then asking for it. Good work.

Good night, desjardins. I hope your cats and dogs snuggle you sweetly tonight and give you plenty of comfort.

posted by Elsa 14 March | 00:11

::whuffles you::

posted by casarkos 14 March | 08:38

I'm sorry, desjardins. I've been in that place, and believe me, you will get through this.

posted by essexjan 14 March | 08:38

I wish I had any kind of help, sweetie. Very many big hugs though; we're right here in the crazywindow whenever. *major whuffles*

posted by taz 14 March | 08:55

You know better than I do, but many jobs I've had offer separate bereavement time, a day or three.

I wish you the best. You've had a rough time lately, and you've been handling it really well. Thanks for turning to us; it means a lot.

posted by Eideteker 14 March | 09:27

Oops, "You know better than I do about your specific job..."

posted by Eideteker 14 March | 09:28

Big hugs for you, brother. It'll be 25 years this May since my dad did the same, and May STILL sneaks up on me and sucks. It's always hard for the survivors, no two ways about it. I remember that whenever I have been in the depths myself.

So, we're thinking of you. Try to do something life-affirming for you. Something that reminds you why you are glad you ARE here. Get outside on a sunny day, or clear night. Actually, so long as it's cold-ish where you are, put on some shorts tonight and go stand in your backyard, freezing. Or the rooftop. FEEL the world around you somehow. Eat a meal that you skip most often because it's too rich. And then, tilt your hat to the memory of those who couldn't make it, for one reason or another.

posted by richat 14 March | 12:50

(((desjardins)))

Miko's advice to let tomorrow worry about tomorrow is spot on. Sometimes it comes down to hour by hour.

Hang in there and take care of yourself.

posted by deborah 14 March | 13:39

Oh, desjardins. Can you throw yourself into your work or something else to take your mind off it?

posted by goo 15 March | 08:35

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