Go stomp.

I had a friend of mine (male) misdiagnosed as heartburn. Three months later, stress test, turns out the previous heartburn was a heart AtTACK. He was only 39 at the time, not overweight, looked fit.

Better safe than sorry.

Maybe not stomp so much as a "I came over because I was really worried and I wanted to make sure you're ok, and what did the doctors say?" sort of thing?

Definitely check up on her. "didn't feel like dealing with the ER" would be an unfortunate cause of death.

well, not cause, more like facilitator

I agree -- a concerned visit would be good, because it COULD be a heart attack. I know a woman whose husband's last words were, "Damn it, it's just indigestion!" And a friend (female) who had what she thought was the worst flu of her life. It was a heart attack.

On the other hand, my dad was put in intensive care for what ended up to be severe stomach cramps. But that also got him an endoscope and treatment for ulcers, IBS, and the like.

Wow. No, she should go to the hospital ASAP. If she arrives in the ER complaining of chest pains, she will go to the top of the list. When I was studying for my CPR license, I heard this story constantly, even from people who should know better - doctors and nurses. "Oh, we thought it was just really bad heartburn, until he passed out", etc. etc.

This is exactly what happened to me in October of last year. I though I had heartburn. Several hours later my better judgement prevailed.

Four years ago, I had a muscle spasm in my back. When I had ultra sound on my October attack, they found that I had had a previous heart attack.

Stomp. Don't even think about what they will think of you. Think hard about what kind of person you are.

Time is EVERYTHING during a cardiac incident. Doing something now is better than waiting for a "we should have known better." Opening that artery is a matter of life and death. Waiting could mean having to cut open her chest when a stent would have been enough. If he is a push-over, scare the hell out of him. Your sincerity will get through.

The more I think about this, the more concerned I am getting. I hope everything turns out OK, s_r.

Yes, please keep us posted sr. Hope everything is OK.

Always act in accordance with your gut instinct, it's easier to justify caring, than non-caring IMO.

Well, I couldn't figure out much to do. She's in bed and her head and neck hurt like hell so she took a muscle relaxant and chalked it up to muscle spasms. She's coherent etc etc. I made her call her MD. She left a message.

Her husband and son are home though they insist on acting like she's fine even though she's in bed and she's not much of a laying around kind of person. In fact she has Graves Disease and doesn't take her meds, usually, which can lead to heart problems. Ugh.

And now I'm putting all her business on the street, which I'm sure she'd just love to death. I'm just worried and don't know what to do.

I called her MD and left a message with the assistant who didn't want to hear it.

I don't have it in me to call 911 against the her and her whole family's wishes.

you did good. Did she leave a voicemail or a message with an answering service? A good doctor will make sure he gets such a message and acts on it.

Gosh, s_r. I'm starting to wonder if they don't have health insurance? Or perhaps there's some sort of religious reason they're avoiding the trip to the hospital? Because you can assure them, that if they go to the ER, they will not have to wait long to see a doctor. They will not be wasting anyone's time. Do you have any mutual friends who are doctors or nurses that can back you up?

I know this isn't any of my business, but I've heard this story so many times before, and it rarely ends well.

S_R, that pain going up into the neck?

NOT FREAKING GOOD.

Look, you tried. No matter what. If this was a heart attack, it's on them and NOT YOU.

YOU tried. That's all you CAN do.

They have good health insurance. They just hate doctors, and especially hate ERs, like there's a soul alive who doesn't.

I COMPLETELY understand their reticence: (ER) + (possibility of something really wrong) + (possibility of feeling like a hypochondriac when there's nothing wrong) +( )+( )+ ...

I totally get it. But when you're a mom and a wife and a daughter and have friends you love, etc you don't GET to take the chance.

This is why I don't get to hike off into the mountains in winter without telling anyone, or kayak out to the Farallones or off myself the next time I decide I don't want to be here anymore. That's the price of having loved ones.

rant rant rant.

sorry.

She has an appointment for tomorrow at 11 am. (Harrumph- *I'm* not satisfied! Not that it matters.)


On a related tangent, here's an annoying ER story from this weekend. My boss's MIL went in to the ER for a mini-stroke. (She's had a couple already.) Her blood pressure was 220 & rising. I myself don't know from blood pressure, but apparently this is high, especially for a 90+ year old. The nurse asks her how she feels and she says she feels "flu-ish." The nurse writes down "flu" on the chart and sticks her at last priority in the waiting room.

Fortunately her daughter wasn't having it, but this crap is the way it works and if you aren't lucky enough to be accompanied by a strong, English speaking, somewhat obnoxious advocate you're just f*cked.

This is why I'd go to a veterinarian if I could.

Anyway, thanks for listening (reading)- I'm grateful for you all being here.

Family friend, older and wiser, in fact he was a Doctor. Decided that the chest pains were best "walked off". Took a walk. Died in a pile of snow not too far from his house (right as his concerned sons arrived).

update: MD this morning says it wasn't a heart attack.