Welcome to my world.

Is it possible that one can no longer find a wee room on one's own for $500 or less in the U.S. these days? Because that sucks and blows.

My advice - from far, far away, and knowing nothing about the area where you are looking - is to make it your #1 hobby to check out possible places in a really proactive way. Is there an area you spend time in that you like? Tell anyone you regularly see and talk to there (waiter/waitress, service station attendent, librarian, dog groomer, book shop clerk, gym instructor) anybody who knows you by sight with whom you have any kind of friendly, (even if ever-so-casual) acquaintanceship with that you are looking for a small, inexpensive space.

Tell all your friends, and all your coworkers. Put an ad in Craigslist describing what you are looking for. Go check all sorts of places for rent anywhere within the area/price you are looking, for anything that comes the tiniest bit close to your upper range. Talk to whoever shows you the place, and maybe they'll know of something else for a bit less. Put up notices at your local university, talk to all your parents' friends. In short, do everything that can possibly be done to work every single possible angle - and basically make that your second job for now.

If all that fails, determine what the difference is between what you can afford, and what you will have to spend, and find a way to make up that difference without leaving your job.

Don't give up the fabulous job for something you hate for more money, and don't get into any credit mess... Those are two fantastic things you love about your life right now: great job, and no debt hanging over your head. So don't change that! Just decide that you are going to find that amazing little hideaway, no matter how long it takes, and then be indefatigable about searching for it.

And be positive! Be completely sure you will find it! I don't know how that helps, but it does. We've have now found five entirely impossible places with this strategy.

You're not powerless. Get a part-time second job. Maybe bartending or waiting tables a few nights a week. Also, look for studio apartments. I think a lot of people rule them out immediately, but they are obviously cheaper than larger places. I live in a studio, and I love it.

The above advice is really good, but also, be willing to be somewhat flexible with your budget. I know very few people who actually pay 30% or less in rent - the figure, sadly, is more like 33-40%, at least in my admittedly rather expensive region and among my admittedly underpaid nonprofiteer friends whose jobs are otherwise quite good.

Whether or not you can really afford this depends on three things:

1. Your other expenses. Would paying more for rent still allow you to pay utlities, gas, groceries, and any other bills? Would it leave you completely strapped for discretionary income? You don't want to have bills which come close to equaling your income, because that means no savings and no fun. And if gas and groceries continue to go up, and you have no margin, you will get stuck. But you may be able to spend more than [what I believe] is an unrealistically old-fashioned figure of 25-30% of income for housing.

2. You value living without roommates enough to make the financial sacrifice feel worth it. If you can sit alone in your blissfully all-you apartment enjoying a bowl of noodles, and not feeling angry that you can't be down at the sushi bar, because you dig your place so much - you'll probably be all right.

3. Whether you think your income is likely to increase at this job, and how soon. I put this one in not to encourage you to live above your means in hopes you'll one day catch up, but in recognition of the fact that the cost of living may rise, and if your salary doesn't rise with it, you could get in a tight place. If you are in a job with a guaranteed COLA raise, you can probably look one or two price points higher, as long as you stay off that debt.

But think about what amro says about studios. The bigger your house, the more furniture you need, the more cleaning supplies, the more light bulbs, the more time spent maintaining it. There are diminishing returns to the size of a place when you live alone. I'm often really glad I only have 3 rooms and a bathroom to deal with, because my weekends would be shot if I had a bigger place.

There are some gems out there. The apartment search is long and arduous. But you will find something!

oh, also, try 'alternative' means of finding a place. Like, make flyers describing you as the ideal tenant, and put a listing on Craigslist about what you're seeking and why you're special. Use your social networks to spread the word that you're looking for an affordable place. Landlords are decidedly nervous about the finding-a-good-tenant problem, and I've seen this method pay off - it lets them feel like they are identifying and choosing a good tenant rather than taking the luck of the draw with whatever weirdos answer their ads.*

*Advice assumes you're not a weirdo

You're probably a better roommate than you think. Do you piss in the sink? Do you like to set things on fire? Do you own 10 cats? Do you invite your friends over for heroin or coke parties? Then you're probably a pretty decent person to live with.

I'm just mentioning this because, well, it sounds a little self-limiting to say, "I need to find someplace I can live by myself, because I'm a bad room-mate; but I can't afford to live by myself." When I moved to San Antonio for a job, I made the choice to rent a one-room apartment, instead of finding a place with roommates. However, I also made the choice to spend about 50% of my take-home pay (ie, after taxes) to fund such a place - and that's not counting utilities. My privacy and solitude was worth that much of my income.

I meant, of course, that if you didn't do all those things, you'd probably be a pretty decent roommate.

It took me a few tries to actually get out on my own. Of course, my mom's house was a block from the ocean, and it was a pretty relaxed sitch. At the same time, I beat myself up a LOT for needing to go back there. But in retrospect, I was lucky it was an option.

And I never look askance when others choose/need to move back in with parents.

I know that it does not, or cannot, feel that way to you, but I felt like offering another perspective.

I'm a terrible roommate, I know this.

You think so, huh?

I remember an item (either here or at AskMe) dealing with an alcoholic roommate who had a habit of coming home so drunk that she would piss all over herself and the couch.

Are you as bad as that roommate?

Probably not.

What Taz said.

I have so been in your shoes. Hell, I am there, but money is only part of the issue for me right now. I've told myself I'm staying in my place, even though I hate it entirely with an all consuming passion (asshole landlord, threatening crazy chainsmoking man in the apartment below mine, apt too small, nothing ever gets fixed properly, etc.) But I told myself I'm staying here because it's cheap, until I pay off all the debt I incurred moving to this city. I don't even think I want to stay here so I'm afraid to get locked in a 1 year lease should I move...ugh.

I was in your EXACT situation this time last year. I was in a shared house, wanted my own place, was barely scraping by. I saw some really stupid show about reworking your finances and the person's advice was - "make more money." It sounds ridiculous but honestly it never occurred to me that if my situation was so miserable then I needed to get another job or a second job and just suck it up. In the process, I realized being passionate about my job was really destructive to my lifestyle and my health. So, not a very happy answer, but an answer nonetheless. I feel for you buddy. See if your city/town/county/whatever has a housing board or nonprofit housing group who can help you out. I was surprised to learn that in some places there are groups which offer short-term loans to help people cover first/last deposits on new apartments.

Keep your eyes peeled for basement apartments in people's homes - there are a lot of people out there who buy homes and then their circumstances change and they turn the basement (or a whole floor) of the house into a stand-alone apartment. Put an ad in Craigslist for "seeking bachelor apt".

Good luck! It'll get better. :)

Thanks y'all. I'm not one of those psycho roommates who sets things on fire or pisses in the sink (brings back terrible memories from college and the year of the NUTCASE CUNTRAG) but I just like my absolute solitude. I hate dealing with people in any fashion and I hate driving to unfamiliar places in large cities (fuck you Baltimore and DC).

I would use my social network, but I really don't have one. Most of my friends live out in the tumbleweeds and can't help me with the specific area I'm looking for. (I love my short ass commute to work and am aiming for something similar, but I'm willing to drive a bit longer for some quiet.)

As far as living with my folks goes, there's never been anything else (except for the stretch when I was at school in Pennsylvania, which was awesome, aside from the roommate part, but now she's my one friend, so heh). It's just that they drive me batshit (I'm basically not allowed to go out or have friends over, they spy on everything I do, and basically attempt to control my life. I've posted about in AskMe, and the general response was GTFO, which I would, if I had the cash.) My current job is the second highest paying I've ever had (the highest paying was absolutely soul-crushing and made me want to die when I had to go in).

What's funny about looking for places is that I really don't want much. I don't care about big kitchens, because I don't cook. (I burn Jello and love the microwave.) I'm willing to deal with a certain amount of sketchiness and I don't want all these fancy-pants amenties most of the places offer.

I've been trolling Craigslist, but most of the stuff on there is even out of my price range.

In theory, I think I'll be getting a pay raise in late March (90 day review) so I'll just have to hope that it bumps me up enough to start working towards that. Of course, if I go back to school, all bets are off (because there's no way I can afford to move out and pay for school).

Ugh. Thanks for listening, y'all. My folks aren't understanding at all this NEED TO GET OUT. (They moved in together in college and got married and had babies. That's it.)

Uh, hi. Same situation, only I can't even think about moving out on a grad student salary (what salary? HEY PEOPLE FUNDING MY RESEARCH YOU'RE TWO MONTHS OVERDUE). So sympathies from another person who feels stuck, I guess.

WE WILL GET OUT.

Will you still need the car if you move out of your parent's house/neighborhood? I'm always way happier without a car / car payments. Can you find a small place nearish to your work or at least accessible to your work by public transportation, and then ditch the car?

It does suck to feel suck for lack of money. I hope you're able to figure something out.

Nope, can't do without the car. My workplace is nowhere near public transportation (damn suburbs). The only good things about the car are the fact that it's completely paid off and that it gets damn good gas mileage. (Although gas mileage doesn't really help when gas is over $3/gallon.)

I'm in a holding pattern right now, waiting to hear back from UMD with regards to getting another degree (MLS this time, hopefully) and therefore, can't make any real decisions until that happens one way or the other.

Also while stuck, do the obvious - put away 33% of your paycheck in a high interest savings account and pretend it's rent. It'll get you used to using less money on everything else and you'll have saved up emergency money/downpayment on lease cash stowed away to boot. Maybe you're already doing that but hey, I just thought I'd mention it. Here in Sweden it's not unusual to have to buy a decent rent contract for lots of cash. No first and last month deposit crap, actual big wads of money for a good rental apartment in a decent hood. Totally illegal but it's practically the only way to get a contract. I hear a nice 2-3 room apartment contract in Stockholm can go for as much as a million kronor these days, no joke!

1,000,000,000.00 SEK = 159,412,970.03 USD - however the rent would be between 600 and 1100 USD.

Also while stuck, do the obvious - put away 33% of your paycheck in a high interest savings account and pretend it's rent.

Excellent idea!