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17 February 2008

My friend Dave [More:]
My friend Dave died on Friday at the age of 48. He had liver cancer, cirrhosis and hepatitis and was HIV+ and he'd been ill for a long while. He was divorced but had twins who are now about 15.

Most people who knew Dave fell out with him at some point - he was sparky and combative and could be very stubborn. I didn't speak to him for about a year after we had a big fallout over something, but I bumped into him in Walthamstow Market one day and we went for a coffee and put it behind us.

Dave knew he was dying, and it filled him with fear. But he didn't shirk from letting people know that his illness and imminent death were as a result of his lifestyle - sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll - and that he was dying because he'd taken no heed of the warnings people were giving him about the risks he was taking. The last time I talked to him he said "I had a lot of fun, but it wasn't worth it".

His dog, Shadow, is now living with my friend Helene. Her own dog died a while ago. It was a comfort to Dave to know that Shadow will be taken care of.
How sad, Jan; I'm sorry.

Sometimes I wonder, though, how most of us manage to survive our youth. For some of us, it's just luck.
posted by taz 17 February | 07:07
My sincere condolences, essexjan.
posted by Lassie 17 February | 07:48
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[essexjan]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
posted by bunnyfire 17 February | 07:55
.
posted by MonkeyButter 17 February | 11:39
many hugs to you and the rest of dave's friends..
posted by By the Grace of God 17 February | 11:55
I'm so sorry, Jan.
posted by occhiblu 17 February | 12:18
A tough way to go. I liked the pictures. I'm glad he had Shadow. I'm glad Shadow has Helene.
posted by Claudia_SF 17 February | 12:36
most of us assume the day of reckoning is a long way off, don't we?

sorry about your friend Jan ((((HUGS)))
posted by Wilder 17 February | 13:48
I'm sorry for your loss, (((essexjan))).
posted by deborah 17 February | 14:15
Sorry for your loss.
posted by plep 17 February | 14:54
I'm so sorry, jan.
posted by jrossi4r 17 February | 15:04
My condolences, essexjan.
posted by halonine 17 February | 16:06
Oh man, I am so sorry to hear about this, jan. *HUG*

Also, what taz said, quoted for truth:
Sometimes I wonder, though, how most of us manage to survive our youth. For some of us, it's just luck.
posted by BoringPostcards 17 February | 16:55
I'm so sorry for your loss, jan. I hope his passing was peaceful for him. I'm sure knowing Shadow would be cared for and loved helped a bit with his worries.
posted by redvixen 17 February | 17:41
Very sorry :-(
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 17 February | 18:26
.
posted by rainbaby 17 February | 19:37
(((essexjan)))
posted by lysdexic 17 February | 21:41
Sorry for your loss, essexjan. It's nice to know that the two of you were able to put your falling out behind you.
posted by chrismear 18 February | 01:46
Sorry, essexjan.
posted by Atom Eyes 18 February | 12:27
Rabbit Rescue. || 28 wrong things?

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