In elementary school here in the US, at least when I was a kid, handing out Valentine's in school was an all-or-nothing thing. The teacher would send a class list home, and we would buy these pre-packaged cards that had a little game or joke on the back, and a themed pun on the front (ie, girls would buy Barbie-themed cards, boys would buy superhero-themed cards). Then, we'd prepare a card for every kid in the class, even the ones we didn't like.

Of course, the cards for our friend would get some candy hearts in them, while the cards for our enemies would be hastily prepared. Cards for our crushes would be giggled over.

Then, the cards would be distributed to each person's desk during class. For the younger grades, we sometimes made little construction-paper mail boxes. There may be cupcakes at this point.

Interesting, muddgirl. My school (Houston, Texas, in the 1970s) had no such safeguards against unequal distribution.

We gave out Valentines to whomever we choose, which in practice meant that everybody got some, but the popular kids got piles and piles of them, with candy or crepe paper flowers, and others (e.g. a fat, thick-spectacled, and frankly kinda snotty girl like me) got a modest number.

I always made sure to procure (or make) lots of Valentines, so I had extras in case someone seemed to need more. Some kids were so sad to get only a few. I never minded how few I got: I knew my modest pile of Valentines came from sweet people.

Aw, that's sweet, Elsa. I grew up in self-esteem-conscious California in the 80's and early 90s. Even the roles in our class play were chosen lottery-style, rather than by talent.

We had the all-or-nothing rule, too. It always made the choosing of which card to send to whom a long and anxiety-filled process. My mom always bought the variety pack of valentines, so there were lots of options to choose from. Of course, the chummy, non-gushy "Be my buddy" type cards were reserved for the guys. (Didn't want to send the wrong message, did I?) For the girls, anything with cute, cuddly animals would suffice. And for the girls I had crushes on, there had to be something just a little bit special about it: maybe lots of hearts or X's and O's, or a picture of two woodland animals holding hands, and it had to say "Be Mine!" or "I *heart* you!" or words to that effect.

Inevitably, these machinations colored my interpretation of the valentines that I received, especially the ones from crushes. Sometimes, it was obvious the card was an afterthought -- a harmless "Let's be pals!" or cold, generic "Happy Valentines Day!" followed by a hastily scribbled signature, and it was always a bad sign when they misspelled my name on the back. But when the card was more intimate and lovey-dovey, or she added a brief message, or perhaps even dotted the i in her name with a heart -- bliss!

Depends on how big the crush is. :D

We did the class list everybody gets a valentine thing when I was little and it was the same for my kids. I'm not sure in retrospect though whether that was enforced by the teacher or enforced by the mother - like my own mom, I'm one of the old school either you share with everybody or nobody gets any parents.

Actually, valentines are a tremendous pain in the ass as a parent and it starts in nursery school. I finally got rubber stamps with the kids' names on them made and that helped a LOT when they were very young. I mean, I remember with a shudder, OMG, the making of the valentines box and the selecting - or, worse, god help me, the making - of the cards and the agonizing over which card goes to which person and the signing of the name along with the tiny drawing or sprinkle of glitter and enclosing a candy heart or two and the addressing and checking the lists and, on years with an extra zealous teacher, the baking of the heart shaped cookies. Yargh! Every February 13 was like some kind of insane marathon and always ended up with an overtired, cranky child nearly in tears. I'm so glad they're older now and can angst out over Valentines Day all by themselves. ;-)

My experience was exactly like muddgirl's (Southern California in the 1970s).

The mister and I give each other one "nice" yet not icky card and one funny card. We do that with all occasions we exchange cards (xmas, birthday, etc.).

Being able to send more than one valentine to a bunny is one of the joys of anonymity!

Oh, and we never did any of this state-enforced valentines stuff at school in the UK. We just mumbled "I love you" and then ran away, beetroot-shaded, to the other end of the playground.