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13 February 2008

My new neighbors are turning into a nightmare. Today, I cleaned up their trash in our yard that included several half-empty Bud Ice tallboys and a (shudder) dirty diaper.[More:]

We were so happy for a while.

The house was built and occupied since the 1950's by a racist old coot named Wayne. At one point in history, Wayne owned the entire neighborhood that we live in - the subdivision still bares his name. Mind you, this in is Lake Highlands in central Dallas, where real estate's a premium asset. He lived alone in a small but tidy place on an acre of land.
He was a mean old fuck, capable only of hate for anyone not white, straight, and Christian, dropping more n-bombs in casual conversation than your favorite gangsta rapper. My girlfriend and her ex picked up the acre they built their house on (and where I now reside) for an astronomically low sum about 5 or 6 years ago because they lied and said they were "normal". They had weird troubles with him that extended into my era of living here. I'll save those stories for another time.

Sometime last year, the octogenarian's mind started to slip. We'd see him mowing his lawn 2 or 3 times a week. His son started showing up at his house more and more, then one day in December Wayne was gone, hauled off to a home. I hope his male attendants are the blackest, gayest nurses that ever walked the earth. He deserves nothing less.

The house was gutted, refinished, and put up for lease at a damn reasonable price. We tried our hardest to find friends to occupy it, but we were unsuccessful. A couple of weeks ago, a family moved in. We were alerted of this development by shrieking children and thumping Tejano music at 9 a.m. Not a good sign. We'd been hoping for quiet neighbors that'd leave us alone, and instead got noisy ones that leave us alone.

A week ago, I tried to say hello but found myself up against a language barrier. I received a nod and a brief half-smile, followed by a back turned to me. My Spanish sucks and I didn't feel like embarrassing myself with it, so I let it be.

I first noticed the garbage starting to pile up late last week. There's a shallow drainage ditch that separates the front yards on our street from the road. The ditch area between our property and the neighbor's was finding itself more cluttered with refuse every day. We went out of town for a few days, and when we returned last night I couldn't help but notice that, hey, there's a lot of trash in the ditch.

Early this evening, I went outside to get the mail and couldn't take it any more. The neighbors were out in their back yard at the time, so I stood by the trash ditch in a passive attempt to get them to pay attention to me/it. They didn't, so I scooped up most of it with a big dustpan and threw it in our container. "It", as mentioned on the front page, contained a fucking dirty diaper, which I didn't recognize until it was in the pan. Ugh.

I have no idea why they're doing this. We have twice-weekly garbage service and giant cans. The neighborhood is a great mix of middle-low to middle class homesteads, and while it's far from perfect it is relatively clean. I have Wayne the owner's son's number, and as soon as the next blight hits the ground I'm going to give him a ring. I'm not about to call the city/cops - I don't know where we stand, legally, and besides I really, really dislike the police and want as few interactions with them as possible for the rest of my life. I don't like the idea of calling the owner either, but... a dirty goddamn diaper. Ack.

Sorry for the ramblings - I needed to get it out. Any suggestions on other ways to deal with this minor-but-disgusting life problem, preferably not ones that involve firebombs or other extreme acts of passive aggressiveness?
Couldn't you just shoot them? I mean, it is Texas.
posted by jonmc 13 February | 21:51
Eh - they have to be trying to take my belt buckle or something for that to hold up in court.
posted by item 13 February | 22:03
You could always leave a fertilizer-filled depends with a note saying "Don't do that again!" in Spanish pinned on it.
posted by jonmc 13 February | 22:05
Remember the Alamo.
posted by ColdChef 13 February | 22:08
Ah, reminds me of our last Bridgeport neighbors. They had little trees growing in their gutters.
posted by Pips 13 February | 23:13
Who do you know who can translate English to Spanish? It's worth it to talk to them before it gets to be a long-running passive-agressive feud. Do they know about the trash pickup and how it works?

Seriously, find a friend who can do that and just go up and knock on the door one regular day when they're not outside trying to socialize and you're not all het up. It seems perfectly reasonable to start with "Hey, I'm glad you joined the neighborhood, but I saw that you weren't sure where to put the trash and I wanted to let you know about the trash pickup."

If it's more than simple ignorance of the curbside pickup situation, that will become clear later on, but I think the non-King of the Hill solution here would be to go and talk to them first.

On second thought, that sounds exactly like something Hank Hill would do. But anyway. He's a decent guy.
posted by Miko 13 February | 23:17
"half-empty Bud Ice tallboys" Heathens! A waste of beer!

Still it reminds me of a home I had. One morning I was getting the kids off to school and new neighbours were moving into the house 3 doors down. There was a man holding a liquor bottle down on all fours vomiting on the front lawn. Nice.

One night a few months later when I had just got the kids off to bed someone began pounding on my door. I was confronted by the lady of that house, with her four offspring in tow, ranting about "that bastard and his whore" as she tried to grope my crotch.

I called the cops. I too hate interacting with cops but I had to do it. Fortunately government intervention and non payment of rent got them out a few months later.
posted by arse_hat 14 February | 00:13
Miko, I've got plenty of fluent Spanish speakers amongst my friends. I think that for the time being my best option is calling the landlord. It's the old man's son and, while I've never had a conversation with him that lasted more than 30 seconds, he's got to be a better/more reasonable person than his dad. He let a Mexican family move in, after all, something his pop wouldn't have done ever never EVER. He has a pretty large stake in this, too. I'm sure that not only does he want his property taken care of, but if the city did issue a citation for the mess, he'd be the one on the receiving end. Tickets like the one he'd get are really expensive in Dallas.

Once the pathetic excuse for a season we call "spring" down here rolls around in a few weeks, we'll be spending a lot more time out in the yard. I'm sure we'll have a proper introduction then.

If only we had a homeowner's association, but thank the gods that we don't have a homeowner's association.

posted by item 14 February | 01:08
It seems perfectly reasonable to start with "Hey, I'm glad you joined the neighborhood, but I saw that you weren't sure where to put the trash and I wanted to let you know about the trash pickup."

The problem is, I'm pretty sure they know that trash is not thrown in the drainage ditch for collection. I mean, they have to, right?

I really just don't get why anyone would move into a house & immediately start trashing the place up. The house is a steal as far as leases go. It's a small 2.5 or 3 bedroom, but the interior was just completely redone - every fixture, wall, floor, door - cheap stuff, but still all new, rare for a 60 year old rental. It's only $950 a month. I'm not sure of the sq/ft (maybe 1100? The bedrooms've gotta be tiny).

I wish we'd been able to find a friend to least it (that's not what this is all about, I swear!). There's not a privacy fence, just a wrought-iron picket number, which means no more nakedness in the back yard. What? Oh, if we could afford it, we'd put one up in a heartbeat but man it'd be pricey. It's a long stretch that needs one.

On the plus side, I don't anticipate getting shit from them for our charming and fairly not legal firepit. I love having a firepit and would rather not have the fuzz show up and bust one of our firepit sessions with our closest friends. It's great - we're on a creekbed, so the ground's mostly moist clay under the topsoil back there. no burning down east Dallas for us, thank you.

Am I rambling? I'm rambling.
posted by item 14 February | 01:27
IMO, trash piling up like that constitutes a health hazard. I would get in touch with the son-- if that doesn't produce results then the Dallas board of Health.

The people who owned one of the condos where I lived in Denver (I was renting from someone else)turned out to be renting it to people who were using it as a way station for illegal immigrants. The story I was told is that they weren't aware of this until things got out of hand: people climbing through the window, loud music nightly through the wee hours, stuff being stolen from the dryers, unsupervised toddlers wandering around.... I have sympathy and tolerance for those who are escaping brutality in their home countries; much less for those who have bred more than they have the means or capability to raise. In these cases, "wanting a better life" starts with birth control. Condoms are available worldwide--75% effective is much better than zero.
posted by brujita 14 February | 01:46
he's got to be a better/more reasonable person than his dad. He let a Mexican family move in, after all, something his pop wouldn't have done ever never EVER.

Let me tell you now that landlords do not rent to trash-dropping minorities out of the goodness of their hearts.

In other words, think now that you will have to deal with him on a basis of what hurts his pocketbook.
posted by stilicho 14 February | 06:03
Don't sweat the dirty diaper too much. I've always heard that a baby's ass is much cleaner than a dog's ass. (Or is it a dog's ass is cleaner than a baby's mouth?)
posted by Atom Eyes 14 February | 12:25
Hey guys. UotC (item's Other) here. I saw last week that there were several beds strapped to several large trucks driving away. The diaper muckrakers are gone! I chatted with the owner/son and he stated that yes, more than one family had moved in, and yes, they were being evicted. I took some joy in that.

Bad news: He's moving in. I hope he's a nicer neighbor than his dad, who once brought me a jar of homemade fig preserves that resulted in astronomical... um... bathroom explosions after consumption.

I think he might have tried to kill me.
posted by Unicorn on the cob 28 February | 18:04
This happens a lot around my home || Holy Crap!

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